Can’t get help because I’m lying to my psychiatrist

[Nymph]

I have told her and she has asked me if I was feeling suicidal and I said yes. She told me that it's fine if I don't take action but she doesn't know that I already have most of the stuff I need and I'm planning on ctbing. I know that i would get sent to a ward but I don't want that, I know 100% I'll hate it already from the first moment I step in because I'll have to strip naked and they will search me. I hate exposing myself, I have intimacy issues and I'm disgusted my the thought of people looking at my naked body. I can't ever go to a ward. I will never be able to get proper help but I'm fine with that because I don't believe anything could help me from ctbing.

 

[SoIntoYou]

"The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.

Morpheus, The Matrix"

 

[Nymph]

"The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.

Morpheus, The Matrix"

I'm not sure how to interpret this

 

[SoIntoYou]

I'm not sure how to interpret this

Your Psych is still "plugged in" and will do everything she can to defend the system and not your best interests by sending you to the ward. At least, that's how I thought of it. I'm still not convinced that quote was the best thing to say. Sorry =(

 

[Deleted member 18655]

How long have you been seeing her for help? Most pdocs are legally bound to call authorities if they perceive a real and immediate threat. Ideations don't always qualify as either real or immediate. I have three professionals to whom Ikve detailed my plan. One I told in our first meeting. I told them I want intellectual discourse on the topic of suicide and the end of life and promised I'd contact someone if I felt "in crisis." And I meant it - not that it would mean stopping but I intend to keep my end of the bargain (their end being not calling police on me). That's my situation, in my country. Yours might be different but if you have a good relationship with your psychiatrist, why not be honest with her and give her a chance to help you?

 

[Nymph]

How long have you been seeing her for help? Most pdocs are legally bound to call authorities if they perceive a real and immediate threat. Ideations don't always qualify as either real or immediate. I have three professionals to whom Ikve detailed my plan. One I told in our first meeting. I told them I want intellectual discourse on the topic of suicide and the end of life and promised I'd contact someone if I felt "in crisis." And I meant it - not that it would mean stopping but I intend to keep my end of the bargain (their end being not calling police on me). That's my situation, in my country. Yours might be different but if you have a good relationship with your psychiatrist, why not be honest with her and give her a chance to help you?

I'm have only been to 1 psychiatrist and I've had her for about a little over a year now. I'm afraid of talking about it because she has told me about a possible ward I could go to (in case I had unbearable panic attacks or anxiety). And also if I were to talk about it honestly then That mean telling her I have a plan and have my stuff, what if I accidentally say SN and then I'll cause a ban in my country for SN... and if I have a prepared plan then she will probably send me there for sure. Cause how can she know I won't do it?

 

[Deleted member 18655]

A yeae with the same psychiatrist is great! Do you want to seek help from her? Do you trust that she has your best interests at heart? Start out slow. If she's been with you for a year, she knows you (i.e., how honest you are) and you can just start out by talking about your reasons. Talk out those problems with her. If she asks you if you have a plan, tell "yes, but nothing I'm going to act on," and then give her a chance to help you. At least give her the opportunity. If you mention SN, it might be a good way to start a very honest conversation. But if you're not comfortable with that idea (which is understandable) then just watch your words very carefully and don't mention any specifics, except about your feelings, not your ideations.