Can't forget past mistakes

[NothingElseMatters]

Everyday I keep ruminating this, I feel like I can't just live with guilt. Past mistakes have done a terrible damage to my present.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, past mistakes and bad/sad memories love haunting us.
The thing is, (I might sound as a pro-lifer here), you can make better decisions from now on so as not to have "future mistakes" nor "bad memories."

I know. Saying it is so easy right?

Sometimes, I remember high school and I just get so depressed. I wasn't bullied but ignored because they couldn't beat me lol. (I guess that's some kind of bullying too).

It could be anything but I think the KEY is to stay more in the present and think of a better future.

 

[NothingElseMatters]

Yes, past mistakes and bad/sad memories love haunting us.
The thing is, (I might sound as a pro-lifer here), you can make better decisions from now on so as not to have "future mistakes" nor "bad memories."

I know. Saying it is so easy right?

Sometimes, I remember high school and I just get so depressed. I wasn't bullied but ignored because they couldn't beat me lol. (I guess that's some kind of bullying too).

It could be anything but I think the KEY is to stay more in the present and think of a better future.

But how can I do that if those mistakes affected my present and future, it's like I will always think "shit, If I havent done that X years ago, I would have been in a better place now"

 

[WornOutLife]

But how can I do that if those mistakes affected my present and future, it's like I will always think "shit, If I havent done that X years ago, I would have been in a better place now"

Well, the only way is to think of something else and try to enjoy the present. Also, some pills might help. I take lamotrigine 200mg and it really calms me down. I haven't been thinking of the past mistakes since some months ago.

 

[booray]

But how can I do that if those mistakes affected my present and future, it's like I will always think "shit, If I havent done that X years ago, I would have been in a better place now"

I can very much relate to this. Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for you because I am dealing with the same dilemma every single day. I made some very big mistakes, and my regret over the past is keeping me from enjoying life in the present and from moving on into the future. It's the main reason I want to ctb. People say to me that I am not my past, and that may very well be true, but there is no getting around that my past has put me where I am in the present and will determine my future.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

But how can I do that if those mistakes affected my present and future, it's like I will always think "shit, If I havent done that X years ago, I would have been in a better place now"

Hard determinism - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Symbiote]

I think when we focus on past mistakes we only remember the action that we did that caused that mistakes, we don't really ruminate on the possibilities of other actions that we could've taken, would it still led to this life that we have now, or maybe later. Past mistakes are there so we can learn from them. Everyone has past mistakes, some pretty shitty, some that feel shitty but are small.

One of my past mistakes was not graduating high school and dropping out. I didn't get to walk on stage and make my mom happy, but to put on perspective, would she be happy? Life experiences would say no because even though I made a name for myself and got a college degree, she was never happy. Ok, another perspective was that I had to do a lot of things the hard way. Rejected applications, got into my career late, etc., but what's done is done. It doesn't affect me now unless I let it affect me. I would get nothing done if I thought about my past. I try to move forward as much as I can. What is in your past is there, it can't hurt you as worse as it may did before. My question to you OP, is what are you doing in the present? When you're not ruminating about the past, what can you do to make that mistake stay in the past instead of being in the present.

 

[ZardozOmega]

Me neither. I think I'll always be haunted by the shit I did.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm in the same boat, and I don't see it stopping anytime soon.

 

[stygal]

I don't feel like I could have done anything differently than what I did. Even my impulsive acts that lead to others or myself getting hurt seemed like automatic responses developed through an unstable upbringing and pain inflicted by others.

I used to beat myself up over it as well but at this point in time I've let it all go.
I'm here and I'm now.