Cant find a way out

[Elbarado]

My Heath conditio is getting worse willst every day everything leads more ans more to ALS.
Ans because i Dont have a Diagnose yet i Dont get help.A normal life isnt possible anymore ans i just have pain.

My options are so limited.
I could jump from a 50 m building but i cant push myself.
I could Go by train,but...gosh
Partial or hanging is also cruel ans i cant compress my carticoide anymore,cause there arent enough muscles to compress it anymore

So the only option left would be CO.The only room for it would be the bathroom with like 10 m3. So it would aquire like 2.5kg or 3 ( 250gr per 1m3)
I have 17mg of lorazepam and IBU Profen.

But i cant dothis to my parents.
Furtheremore i live together With my best Friend. It would be so cruel to so it here.

And im afraid of death and failing the same time.
I just dont want to die,but cant live this Life either.
Its so fucked up

 

[randomz]

It is fucked up, that's true. I am sorry life brought you to this state. What I can advice you now is to enjoy the company of your family and your best friend as much as you can and I hope things turn out better for you :) .

 

[Elbarado]

i cant enjoy my family, cause they dont understand it and dont believe it due to the docs so far. For them its all imagination and say that im arrogant cause i cant trust the docs so far.
every joint and yearn is hurting cause the muscle are getting weaker. Its a so fucked up disease and itsd so fucked up that there is no test to proof it. just by time.
well and everything is gettin worse and no one believes me. I cant even do sth with my friends, cause i just can move a few metres than i ll have to lay down and rest. even standing or sitting isnt possible for long. its so fucked up.
we can fly to the moon but cant heal cruell health problems

 

[voyager]

I feel you. I do want to die. I've had it. BUT, it took me a long time to accept that this is reality and there is nothing one can do about it. Seems so absurd being of sound mind knowing that maybe in another time one might have been cured or lived happily. It sucks. Might be better though for you to await the diagnosis, if you can.

 

[Elbarado]

I feel you. I do want to die. I've had it. BUT, it took me a long time to accept that this is reality and there is nothing one can do about it. Seems so absurd being of sound mind knowing that maybe in another time one might have been cured or lived happily. It sucks. Might be better though for you to await the diagnosis, if you can.

Do you mean you are diagnosed with ALS

But there must be a fucking way, to heal and reset this nightmare

 

[voyager]

Do you mean you are diagnosed with ALS

No, sorry can't help you there. An extended friend of the family has it though, it's called Charcot there and he will ultimately die from it. Feel very sorry for him, he was a great person. The best father I've ever seen. Wish he had been mine.

As for me, I have other reasons, but pain aside, if one can't change one's reality in whatever form that may be it ultimately comes down to the same situation - one is stuck, and has to carry the consequences against one's will.

Try to make sure though that it really is ALS if you can. Good luck.