Can't find a partner and I'm loosing hope

[Coldpizza22]

I'm a desperate 21 M, never been in a relationship. I'm finishing my studies and that will mean even less options to meet new people. And its engineering, can't see any women in the production line.
It's a big issue for me and its eating me alive. When i walk home and see other couples in public it just makes me feel sad and alone. It wasn't this bad before, it's getting worse, now I'm crying in bed at night.
I've tried dating apps, going to a meet new people at a bar event (literally no single women, maybe a few couples).
I've talked with women online, but they mostly stop replying after a month or less.
I went on one date, it was interesting, but got ghosted after. I want someone i can be close with and be able to trust them. Be intimate with them.

All this i with failed exams in college, being paid a slave wage for student mandatory work, living with my parents, not having a driver's license or a car. I'm starting to consider CTB as a option. I used to have some plans for the future, but they've failed. I don't want to die, but im slowly loosing hope and the future doesn't look bright.

I was thinking of getting help, maybe anonymously, bcs some parts of my potencial job requires work with crane/lift and supposedly you can use it if you don't pass a psychological test. I don't wanna be like a kid at work, having to ask my coworkers to move stuff for me, just bcs i cant use a fcking remote.

 

[Sulyya]

I hope you find someone. Keepy trying imo. I am too.

 

[theboy]

Where are u from

 

[kmycluisfe]

I understand you, I feel like I'm living the same thing, if my projects don't come to life next year I wouldn't know what to do to continue this life

 

[Coldpizza22]

Where are u from

Slovenia, i live outside a small town.

 

[JealousOfTheElderly]

21 is still very young. Is it possible for you to leave your small town? Can you travel to a bigger city? Find a job in a bigger city or another country? Most people don't get married until their late 30s or early 40s. There is nothing wrong with you. Just try to change where you live and go to a place that has more people. You are still very young and have your whole life ahead of you! You are just getting started with "adulting"!

 

[theboy]

Slovenia, i live outside a small town.

oh, im chilean

 

[Coldpizza22]

21 is still very young. Is it possible for you to leave your small town? Can you travel to a bigger city? Find a job in a bigger city or another country? Most people don't get married until their late 30s or early 40s. There is nothing wrong with you. Just try to change where you live and go to a place that has more people. You are still very young and have your whole life ahead of you! You are just getting started with "adulting"!

There's a job in the small town close to me, but it doesn't pay that much. I commute every day by bus, it takes around 1 hour to get to the capital city where i study. It's hard to find an apartment there and they're pretty expensive, almost impossible if you're single and only have one salary to pay for rent and expenses. I might travel abroad, but i have to finish school first and language is also an issue, I'd have to learn a foreign language for that. I don't want to get married just yet, i judt want to be with someone.

 

[aitouka]

Hi! I understand the jealousy of not being able to have your one when it seems like everyone else does. But don't worry, being alone is better than compromising with a bad or mediocre match. If you really do feel very lonely, why not try looking for good friends to keep you company? I am sure there are a lot of people out there with similar interests who can be your friend.

Romance takes time to build up, and you're only 21 which is a rather young age in terms of romantic relationships. Don't fret when many women ignore or ghost you, you simply haven't met the one for you yet. Consider this as waiting and building up for the perfect match. Please don't settle for a relationship just because you like the idea of romance, but go for it if you truly like and love that woman.

Good luck with finding the one, and all other things in life, society is truly shit.

 

[Coldpizza22]

Hi! I understand the jealousy of not being able to have your one when it seems like everyone else does. But don't worry, being alone is better than compromising with a bad or mediocre match. If you really do feel very lonely, why not try looking for good friends to keep you company? I am sure there are a lot of people out there with similar interests who can be your friend.

Romance takes time to build up, and you're only 21 which is a rather young age in terms of romantic relationships. Don't fret when many women ignore or ghost you, you simply haven't met the one for you yet. Consider this as waiting and building up for the perfect match. Please don't settle for a relationship just because you like the idea of romance, but go for it if you truly like and love that woman.

Good luck with finding the one, and all other things in life, society is truly shit.

I have 2 or 3 friends IRL, but they live far away, we just see each other at college. I live in the countryside, quite some distance from the capital city. I also have 2 or 3 friends i play CSGO with.

I feel like im searching for more of a romantic than platonic connections. And seeing classmates get into relationships just makes me feel more worthless.

oh, im chilean

Cool. Do student still have trouble with the education system there?

 

[aitouka]

I feel like im searching for more of a romantic than platonic connections. And seeing classmates get into relationships just makes me feel more worthless.

I'm glad your classmates are able to find their ones, but honestly there's no rush. Trust me, you're waiting right now but in the end you will get yours. It is terribly difficult to wait, I know, because I am waiting for mine as well, but rushing into a relationship would only have horrible results. I wish you the best and I hope fate can bring the one for you to you soon.

 

[Coldpizza22]

I'm glad your classmates are able to find their ones, but honestly there's no rush. Trust me, you're waiting right now but in the end you will get yours. It is terribly difficult to wait, I know, because I am waiting for mine as well, but rushing into a relationship would only have horrible results. I wish you the best and I hope fate can bring the one for you to you soon.

I know but I feel so hopeless. I don't know if its jealousy, envy, or something else. I finally got a match on Bumble and the girl didn't even reply, the match expires in 2 hours from now. One girl liked me, but i need to pay the subscription to be able to like her back. These apps are just a money drain.
At this point im so desperate im starting to consider men as an option. Not physically attracted to them, but there might be something. I have classes right now and i dont even care about thr professor's rambling.

 

[aitouka]

I know but I feel so hopeless. I don't know if its jealousy, envy, or something else. I finally got a match on Bumble and the girl didn't even reply, the match expires in 2 hours from now. One girl liked me, but i need to pay the subscription to be able to like her back. These apps are just a money drain.
At this point im so desperate im starting to consider men as an option. Not physically attracted to them, but there might be something. I have classes right now and i dont even care about thr professor's rambling.

Please try your best to focus on your education first if you don't have luck on the romance side. I know it's hard to concentrate when your mind is occupied by other issues, but making yourself more interesting through knowledge and hobbies is also a way to attract people. As for men, you could try a little to see if you would get attracted eventually, if not please don't continue, we don't want MLMs get heartbroken.

And yes, dating apps exist to fish money out of you. And it is difficult to get real romance out of those apps anyways. I think it's even better to meet and know people on Discord communities where you can find like-minded people rather than dumping money into apps which will only take even more money.

 

[Coldpizza22]

Please try your best to focus on your education first if you don't have luck on the romance side. I know it's hard to concentrate when your mind is occupied by other issues, but making yourself more interesting through knowledge and hobbies is also a way to attract people. As for men, you could try a little to see if you would get attracted eventually, if not please don't continue, we don't want MLMs get heartbroken.

And yes, dating apps exist to fish money out of you. And it is difficult to get real romance out of those apps anyways. I think it's even better to meet and know people on Discord communities where you can find like-minded people rather than dumping money into apps which will only take even more money.

Im done with lectures rn, now we start the exam period. I have 4 exams, I think i can pass 2 subjects, but I'll fail 2 other subjects. In two weeks we start with practice work, and I'll have to study for the failed exams while working for 40 hours a week. Studying is the last thing on my mind after 8 hours of work.

I've already talked to some guys, but im been rejected bcs of my looks. Physical looks matter to men a lot more than to women, but women still choose looks over personality in most cases, the difference is just much noticeable with men.

I live in a small country, hard to find men and even harder ti find women on discord from my country. I've talked daily to a girl that i found on reddit, we talked on discord. We chatted daily for a good month, but now she stopped replying. She's a student from Turkey. I've joined a few servers for meeting new friends, but it's very hard to find people from Slovenia. Most people i talk to are from the US. I found one guy from Slovenia, we might meet for airsoft or something similar, but i haven't talked to him in a while. I've looked at sime facebook groups, but there's not many one that women would be interested in, maybe hiking but if i look at the photos its mostly older people.

 

[aitouka]

Im done with lectures rn, now we start the exam period. I have 4 exams, I think i can pass 2 subjects, but I'll fail 2 other subjects. In two weeks we start with practice work, and I'll have to study for the failed exams while working for 40 hours a week. Studying is the last thing on my mind after 8 hours of work.

I've already talked to some guys, but im been rejected bcs of my looks. Physical looks matter to men a lot more than to women, but women still choose looks over personality in most cases, the difference is just much noticeable with men.

I live in a small country, hard to find men and even harder ti find women on discord from my country. I've talked daily to a girl that i found on reddit, we talked on discord. We chatted daily for a good month, but now she stopped replying. She's a student from Turkey. I've joined a few servers for meeting new friends, but it's very hard to find people from Slovenia. Most people i talk to are from the US. I found one guy from Slovenia, we might meet for airsoft or something similar, but i haven't talked to him in a while. I've looked at sime facebook groups, but there's not many one that women would be interested in, maybe hiking but if i look at the photos its mostly older people.

Perhaps try local communities? Working 40 hours a week while studying is certainly difficult, and I understand it's harder to spare time to participate in local communities compared to dating apps, Discord or Facebook. But it might bring you local people who are interested in keeping contact in real life. I'm not going to comment on the looks over personality part because that's not the case around me, and I'm sure we all can't change what other people think of you. Good luck on your exams! Try taking a break or a nap after work before you start studying. Or maybe sleep directly after work, then wake up and study before work.

 

[sunshiningbackwards]

Idk what you look like but unless you're very attractive or have exuberant wealth to show off, you're probably not going to have a lot of success on dating apps. You have your whole 20s ahead of you, I'd give it a chance. Sadly I bet on the wrong women/matches throughout my entire 20s and now I'm reaching twink death in my late 20s and it's pretty unlikely that I'll find success in that regard but if I could go back to 21 that would be a fucking godsend for me right now. The clock is ticking but it's not over for you yet bro

 

[p4nic]

I'm also having a though time rn, most of the people my age (20) that are close to me are starting to date while I'm just feeling left behind. It really sucks to never be chosen.
Even though I'm slowly losing hope on this, I just try not to think about it and focus on other aspects of my life, I want to believe that there's a reason why we haven't found that person yet.
I wish you the best of luck, hope that things get a bit less crappy u.u