Discussion Can't even mention suicide to family without them freaking out

[snowlance]

I tried to have a conversation with my grandma about psych wards this morning. I mentioned how a lot of people who commit suicide and end up in psych wards. I was going to follow up with how there's a lot of psych wards that treat these unwell patients horribly and arent getting the help they deserve. Before I could open my mouth though she started saying "Why are you so hung up on suicide? You know it's selfish right? Me and your mother care about you and you're going to mess us up. You know people who commit suicide go to hell right? That's where you'll go!"
I had to tell her over and over I wasnt suicidal anymore (a lie) and would never try to do it again like I have in the past. In reality I was thinking even more about it and how much I've become a burden to everyone around me. Anyone else experience something similar to this?

 

[Seered Doom]

I don't blame you for your reactions. I'm the same way too. Family's way too forced pro life and don't actually want to sit down and have the conversation properly. I'm guessing yours are the type to be very martyristic in being stubborn to live, even in a shithole?

 

[snowlance]

I don't blame you for your reactions. I'm the same way too. Family's way too forced pro life and don't actually want to sit down and have the conversation properly. I'm guessing yours are the type to be very martyristic in being stubborn to live, even in a shithole?

Yeah, often times when I talk about my inability to work they say stuff like "Yeah i had to work at 2 factory jobs while taking care of you, you need to suck it up"
Need to grow up, become an adult, etc

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I can't say I'm surprised regarding your grandma's reaction. Most family members who love you don't want to hear anything like that, especially from someone they know has attempted previously. To them, it seems apparent it is still on your mind.

 

[snowlance]

I can't say I'm surprised regarding your grandma's reaction. Most family members who love you don't want to hear anything like that, especially from someone they know has attempted previously. To them, it seems apparent it is still on your mind.

That makes sense actually. Talking about it means I'm still looking things up about it and stuff. I need to be more careful.

 

[Seered Doom]

Yeah, often times when I talk about my inability to work they say stuff like "Yeah i had to work at 2 factory jobs while taking care of you, you need to suck it up"
Need to grow up, become an adult, etc

Ugh, hate your parents for that. It's so deplorable they'd say such crap to you like mine do to me. It's unnecessary and really doesn't add much of value to what the conversation was actually about.

 

[omarofficial10]

It's really a tough situation. I had problems with my parents and my self harm and it didn't help me at all to try to talk to them. They sounded a lot like yours. I'm sorry :((

 

[BlazingBob]

My dad has encouraged me to ctb on multiple occasions. When I've talked to him about it he said just shut up and do it. My mom, a chain smoking meth head in her late 70s, is not much better. I don't have any 'loved ones' to worry about hurting.

 

[Death is my goal]

they're the selfish who rejected your feelings, literally didn't care how you felt. all she said is it gonna mess them up and you going to hell.. wow how insightful and helpful! that's why most ppl are suicidal. they get no support from their families.
useless fucks good for nothing

 

[snowlance]

they're the selfish who rejected your feelings, literally didn't care how you felt. all she said is it gonna mess them up and you going to hell.. wow how insightful and helpful! that's why most ppl are suicidal. they get no support from their families.
useless fucks good for nothing

Right they don't really do anything or treat me differently, just tell me to go to the er and get therapy.

 

[Seered Doom]

Right they don't really do anything or treat me differently, just tell me to go to the er and get therapy.

and if you're already in therapy and been to the ER multiple times with them only traumatizing you more, then what?

 

[snowlance]

and if you're already in therapy and been to the ER multiple times with them only traumatizing you more, then what?

They say things like "you have to want help" "you have to put in effort too" and blame me for it not working
Also say things like "are you telling them the truth?" Pretty sure if i did id be in a psych ward
I tell them about my suicidal ideation (without a plan) and hide the fact that I'm impulsive and usually only attempt ctb when I'm having a panic attack and the world is coming down around me

 

[Seered Doom]

So then they're just regurgitating things and for what? It doesn't help anyone if they just do the broken record technique. It doesn't just lambast into someone's brain on "Oh yeah, maybe I'll get help so my family can stfu". It's only gonna cause them to either hold it down or lie more. Mostly both.

 

[アホペンギン]

Yes.. I experience this all the time. I get scolded by my family when I mention suicide and i'm called selfish even though I have been treated very badly by them for all these years.

 

[snowlance]

So then they're just regurgitating things and for what? It doesn't help anyone if they just do the broken record technique. It doesn't just lambast into someone's brain on "Oh yeah, maybe I'll get help so my family can stfu". It's only gonna cause them to either hold it down or lie more. Mostly both.

Exactly, it really does feel like a broken record sometimes. People dont wanna help, they want to just give you some advice and hope you don't make it their problem again

Yes.. I experience this all the time. I get scolded by my family when I mention suicide and i'm called selfish even though I have been treated very badly by them for all these years.

They sound like hypocrites, I'm sorry you go through that. I really hope they don't try to blame you for making an attempt or some bullshit like that.

 

[Seered Doom]

Then what's the point of them even giving half-assed statements? That's not helpful to anyone, especially not you. If they actually wanted to help, they would take you and show you how to get the help step by step; not just say things.

 

[snowlance]

Then what's the point of them even giving half-assed statements? That's not helpful to anyone, especially not you. If they actually wanted to help, they would take you and show you how to get the help step by step; not just say things.

That's what I ask myself everyday. Yet it still happens.

 

[Seered Doom]

I think setting the obvious on the table might make something happen. "Hey, if you want me to get help, can you show me how to actually get it instead of just telling me to get it?" That'd actually do something. If you don't want help, then just ask them to try and listen. If they don't, at least we have Sasu

 

[snowlance]

They have shown me in the past, forcefully, would control my everyday life and tell me what to do even though I felt nauseous and exhausted. I nearly passed out several times and had anxiety and panic attacks daily living with them. Then they'd said it's my fault when it wasn't working. I feel like my mental illness got worse with their 'help', So I dont want it. That's why I'm happy to have you guys and be here. I can talk about this stuff openly.

One of the main things I'm worried about everyday is that my car will get repossessed and I'll have to live with them again and that will be my reality again. I dont think I could go through that again.

 

[Seered Doom]

Which is why you're better off being here, makes sense to me tbh

 

[not_telling]

Sorry you're going through that stuff. Do you like talking to them? I mean, in other matters of course. Because if their validation is important to you, that is hard to deal with, really hard, even more when that is how they react. But, seeing the way they treat you, I don't see them as really the kind of people whose approval mean all that much to others, they just seem to make things harder. I'm sorry if that offends you, I really don't mean to do that, I just mean that people with more open mind are usually the ones with validation worth seeking for me, and there is a lot of them here at SaSu. Hope you find someone who can understand you OP, and that you can make your loved ones understand you too.

 

[snowlance]

Sorry you're going through that stuff. Do you like talking to them? I mean, in other matters of course. Because if their validation is important to you, that is hard to deal with, really hard, even more when that is how they react. But, seeing the way they treat you, I don't see them as really the kind of people whose approval mean all that much to others, they just seem to make things harder. I'm sorry if that offends you, I really don't mean to do that, I just mean that people with more open mind are usually the ones with validation worth seeking for me, and there is a lot of them here at SaSu. Hope you find someone who can understand you OP, and that you can make your loved ones understand you too.

I do like talking to them and seeking validation from them so yeah, it is a bit hard, but things have been easier since I've been on here and able to speak my mind. I agree too, open minded people are the best people to talk to, idk why everyone else doesn't try to be like that.

 

[not_telling]

I do like talking to them and seeking validation from them so yeah, it is a bit hard, but things have been easier since I've been on here and able to speak my mind. I agree too, open minded people are the best people to talk to, idk why everyone else doesn't try to be like that.

Glad to know you have found some comfort here! I also just joined last week, lost my account on the whole host thing, but my time here has shown that my thoughts aren't "wrong" and that other people have them as well. This website in such a short time has helped me a lot.