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ladidabi

ladidabi

Losing all hope is freedom.
Mar 19, 2023
58
I grew up with rythm games - and I still do play it - but much less.
Tried listening to some music after a shower, and I feel this intense anxious feeling. It's the same feeling you get attempting to do a task that requires focus, and you have a crowd watching, and screaming for you to finish said task. For context I did nothing today as I'm on break, and just staying inside. It's been going on gradually since around 2022.

I enjoy all kinds of music. Most of my teenage years were spent listening to screamo or metalcore (very edgy, I know). I can't enjoy any of that anymore. Even the songs that are supposed to be cozy, calm. Hell, instrumentals can at times be more stressful and almost eery.

Sometimes I play Moonrider on VR, but to a much less degree than before. The game causes stress, but I enjoyed the dancing bit. But I can't even enjoy it like I used to, my brain gets so overwhelmed and exhausted I just have to stop after 20-30 minutes - whereas back then I'd play till the headset died.

Music was my way of distraction growing up. The hurt and loneliness I've been through weren't as prevalent when I had my heaphones on. My family still sometimes laugh it off during the time I had almost 24/7, from ≈ 12-17 years old - a black beanie and headphones blasting music, sometimes even at night while I sleep. It was my way of making so much noise in my head that it could block out the pain.

I don't know what is causing this. The silence is stressful, music isn't as enjoyable and I can't listen to it most of the time. Even when I do, I lost all emotions I used to get back in the day. I need noise to stay calm, so I usually listen to ambient sounds, that works. Suddenly music feels so alien, and at times the same feeling I get as hearing sounds or songs in reverse. It doesn't hit the same way it used to, now it's all bad. It affects my creativity as well. I just feel I am becoming more and more bland, it's sad. I become overwhelmed faster over the smallest things. What's the point anymore?
 
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particularrodent

Member
Jan 4, 2025
77
huge same. executive dysfunction and demand avoidance is a bitch. it even affects what you love. all the things i used to enjoy make me so anxious and i fall further and further behind. i didnt discover enough back then, and im missing so much more now
 
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Blueberry Panic

Blueberry Panic

The Angel of Death
Jan 5, 2025
424
When I feel a need to not listen to music but I also have the need to drown out the voices in my head I turn on Black Metal , it's mainly just growling about stuff and at times it helps me feel somewhat better .
You could also turn on a podcast ? I hope this advice helps.
When I feel a need to not listen to music but I also have the need to drown out the voices in my head I turn on Black Metal , it's mainly just growling about stuff and at times it helps me feel somewhat better .
You could also turn on a podcast ? I hope this advice helps.
 
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ShatteredSerenity

ShatteredSerenity

I talk to God, but the sky is empty.
Nov 24, 2024
676
I can't listen to music anymore because every single thing I try to listen to makes me feel heartbroken. Part of it is that I'm severely depressed and have anhedonia, so nothing feels good. I've been listening to music my whole life and had huge playlists, now that whole side of my personality is walled off. Even when I drive 4+ hours on a roadtrip it's silence now. It feels like part of me has died.
 
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easypeasy

easypeasy

The.only.white.sheep
Jul 1, 2024
183
I can't listen to music anymore because every single thing I try to listen to makes me feel heartbroken. Part of it is that I'm severely depressed and have anhedonia, so nothing feels good. I've been listening to music my whole life and had huge playlists, now that whole side of my personality is walled off. Even when I drive 4+ hours on a roadtrip it's silence now. It feels like part of me has died.
I also do not listen to music anymore. Only podcasts. Or silence. It doesn't bother me…I've just grown and changed.
 
NegevChina

NegevChina

I've done the best I could
Sep 5, 2024
441
I can't listen to music anymore because every single thing I try to listen to makes me feel heartbroken. Part of it is that I'm severely depressed and have anhedonia, so nothing feels good. I've been listening to music my whole life and had huge playlists, now that whole side of my personality is walled off. Even when I drive 4+ hours on a roadtrip it's silence now. It feels like part of me has died.
Same with me. Every song I hear reminds me of my life I had before and makes me depressed. I can only listen to one song that soothes me- Suicide is painless, the MASH theme song, I used to like it in my old life as well when I was not suicidal:

 
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eternallyluna

eternallyluna

Member
Dec 24, 2024
39
When I feel a need to not listen to music but I also have the need to drown out the voices in my head I turn on Black Metal , it's mainly just growling about stuff and at times it helps me feel somewhat better .
You could also turn on a podcast ? I hope this advice helps.
This is really good advice. I've pretty much entirely stopped listening to music, but have found that podcasts are tolerable.

I don't really pay attention to what's being said in the podcasts tbh lol, but hearing people talk kind of drowns out my thoughts.

It's nice because the podcasts don't really evoke painful emotions.
 
cali22♡

cali22♡

Banned
Nov 11, 2023
452
I feel the same way.

I just can't concentrate anymore I used to like reading books but I can't concentrate or understand the content, let alone remember it. it's totally annoying because I liked these things back then and music etc. are part of it
I listen to the music but somehow I can't enjoy it it makes me even sadder when I think about it
 

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