Can’t connect

[iamalreadydead]

got broken up with in December with a guy that I truly feel was the last person I could be normal around, we met before I tried killing myself when I was younger so us connecting happened before I suffered the effects of my failed attempt. He was my last "friend" in a way. I have tons of people I talk to on the daily but I don't feel like I am myself around them. I don't feel like I can be physically close around them or intimate with them. The friends I've made before my attempt that still hang around I don't talk to as much as I did with him and we're not near each other anyway so I'm still almost constantly alone.

Didn't realize it was this big of a deal until recently. I thought I was just shy. But really it's just the fact that I'm empty inside and I don't want to be close to anyone anymore

 

[Holu]

I have tons of people I talk to on the daily but I don't feel like I am myself around them. I don't feel like I can be physically close around them or intimate with them.

I feel that. Whether it be trust, insecurities, or some twisted solace in being withdrawn it feels lowkey impossible to rekindle a relationship that I had with her.

Didn't realize it was this big of a deal until recently. I thought I was just shy.

Everyones different, and it sounds like you have spent a decent amount of time alone(since December). It's been about two years for me and honestly the loneliness spikes hit hard. I'm sorry for whatever your going through :(.

But really it's just the fact that I'm empty inside and I don't want to be close to anyone anymore

Emptiness and neediness are honestly twin curses. No telling which ones worse. I'm sorry for how you feel, truly.