cannot seem to go through with it

[mashka9]

I've been wanting to ctb for the longest time. I attempted once in 2021 spring, but ever since then, I've gotten worse, but can't seem to actually do it. I was supposed to od a few weeks ago, but the meds I intended to use were gone (I assume my parents took them while cleaning). I'm now almost certain that I'm ready to do it, but I can't seem to go through with it. Every day I hope to not wake up, yet I can't bring myself to ctb. Any tips?

 

[alterationitfinds]

it's natural to have a survival instinct and it's never easy to overcome. considering tips, alcohol can sometimes help mitigate any SI you have and provide some liquid courage to do what you need to do. it's a natural feeling and most people on this forum will understand, it's awful to want something and be prevented by your own body but it's part of ctb unfortunately. practicing might also help, you mentioned OD, if you can get more meds maybe take 3-4 and just see what it feels like before you commit to taking the OD, just so when you do it your not scared of any symptoms because you already have an idea what it will be like.
i hope you can receive what you want, it's tough knowing that your ready but your body can't agree with you.
i'm sorry :/

 

[FuneralCry]

From what I'm aware overdosing on easily accessible medication doesn't sound like the most reliable suicide method, sadly suicide just isn't straightforward and I wish that there's an easy answers to leaving this existence. I hate how it has to be so difficult to die and I get that it's so dreadful feeling trapped here, it certainly would be such a relief if there's the option to just never wake again.