cassxtho
Deftones Fan
- Nov 8, 2022
- 58
God, I wish I had SN. Nothing I want more then to CTB, but everyone is watching me like a hawk. I would rather live a meaningless life then go back to inpatient again. SUICIDE IS NOT A MENTAL ILLNESS. Depression and other things that may cloud your judgement are... People who are suicidal are so often labelled as depressed, but sometimes certain people are not meant to live. Sometimes I suffer from depressive episodes so bad I physically cannot move, but even when I am clear and happy with myself as a person I still would rather die. Of course, failing again would mean getting packed in with some of the most insufferable people I have ever meant. I am sympathetic to their struggles, and I have met people I genuinely respect during my stay there but being denied my own autonomy and having to tolerate people having psychotic episodes (or who were generally annoying...) has probably set me back further then if someone had actually just put me in therapy and given me a little trust, which wouldn't have helped much either but is preferable.
I hate preventionists so much because of this. Suicidal people are not children, if a person tries to commit don't treat them as such. If somebody cannot handle their life, ask yourself whether or not death would be more beneficial to them. If you don't think it is, then why would hiding all their knives, forcing them into what is basically a daycare, or constantly hanging over their shoulder help them?
Makes me so angry ffs.
I hate preventionists so much because of this. Suicidal people are not children, if a person tries to commit don't treat them as such. If somebody cannot handle their life, ask yourself whether or not death would be more beneficial to them. If you don't think it is, then why would hiding all their knives, forcing them into what is basically a daycare, or constantly hanging over their shoulder help them?
Makes me so angry ffs.