L

losteverthing

Member
May 21, 2021
34
in case i'll fail to achieve my dream and get out of this hell that i'm living in the last 7 years.
then i will choose to ctb
my method is :
getting myself dehydrated and starve myself for a couple of days,
in order to make my body weak (especially my heart, that will cause me a high blood pressure and tachycardia)
and then i will take around some antiemetics.
and then i will take 30g or even more of caffeine powder in order to cause myself a cardiac arrest
what do you guys think ?
any suggestions ? something to improve or change in your opinions ?
 
Rayzieka

Rayzieka

Not Really Here
Apr 28, 2021
637
This sounds very creative so I don't have much input but something is telling me it could go wrong.
Not too sure if there are any lasting effects from a caffeine overdose but if you go into cardiac arrest and survive, google is telling me you could get brain damage. But then again google thinks a mosquito bite is cancer so I can't be sure of anything
 
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losteverthing

Member
May 21, 2021
34
This sounds very creative so I don't have much input but something is telling me it could go wrong.
Not too sure if there are any lasting effects from a caffeine overdose but if you go into cardiac arrest and survive, google is telling me you could get brain damage. But then again google things a mosquito bite is cancer so I can't be sure of anything
haha yeah it's hard to tell, i hope i won't need to ctb at the end
but if i do
then i sure hope it works !
thanks !
 
L

losteverthing

Member
May 21, 2021
34
btw it seems like chances of surviving cardiac arrest are very low
and even if you get medical help it's still low
 
Ramirez

Ramirez

Criminally insane
Jun 10, 2019
396
Sounds like alot of misery to me tbh. Caffeine ODs are horrible. Worst panic and anxiety, nausea, delirium. And you dont know what u gonna do when you are in a delirium and freaking out completely. You might call an ambulance or run around naked outside or some shit. I personally wouldnt try that. But it does sound creative.
 
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motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,086
Worst panic and anxiety, nausea, delirium. You might call an ambulance or run around naked outside or some shit.
I agree. Not a good idea
 
nightnightnitrite

nightnightnitrite

baby blues
Apr 17, 2021
483
I'm not going to pretend like I know anything about this method but it seems difficult and slightly unpleasant. It also seems like this way has a higher chance of error. I know cardiac arrest isn't easy to come back from but I don't think it's that easy to induce in the first place. Maybe try brainstorming an easier or safer method? I just worry this will hurt you and I don't want you in a worse position than you are in now<3
 
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L

losteverthing

Member
May 21, 2021
34
Sounds like alot of misery to me tbh. Caffeine ODs are horrible. Worst panic and anxiety, nausea, delirium. And you dont know what u gonna do when you are in a delirium and freaking out completely. You might call an ambulance or run around naked outside or some shit. I personally wouldnt try that. But it does sound creative.
but if i use antiemetics that will prevent the nausea
+ if i'll be already sp weak because of the starvation and not getting any liquid
then i will not be able to move out of the bed after i'll consume the caffeine powder
I agree. Not a good idea
i have no other method unfortunately
and if i will fail to achieve my dream and i'll have to ctb then i will be in so much mental pain
that i have no choice but to go for the caffeine method and just hope it will take me out in a few hours (i read it's suppose to take somewhere around 4-6 hours max)
I'm not going to pretend like I know anything about this method but it seems difficult and slightly unpleasant. It also seems like this way has a higher chance of error. I know cardiac arrest isn't easy to come back from but I don't think it's that easy to induce in the first place. Maybe try brainstorming an easier or safer method? I just worry this will hurt you and I don't want you in a worse position than you are in now<3
unfortunately i have no other method :(
 
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Ramirez

Ramirez

Criminally insane
Jun 10, 2019
396
+ if i'll be already sp weak because of the starvation and not getting any liquid
The human body is a resilient piece of shit. I mean meth addicts go a long time without sleep food or water. I think you really should find sth else :/.
 
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losteverthing

Member
May 21, 2021
34
The human body is a resilient piece of shit. I mean meth addicts go a long time without sleep food or water. I think you really should find sth else :/.
i have nothing else :(
(i can't get n, sn is really hard for me to get...)
i can jump from around 16- 18 floors
but surviving and ending up paralyzed really scares me... /:
do you have any other suggestion ?
 
Ramirez

Ramirez

Criminally insane
Jun 10, 2019
396
i can jump from around 16- 18 floors
but surviving and ending up paralyzed really scares me... /:
thats rather high. I dont know much about jumping cuz I hate heights . I think you should do some more research in the resources section. I am not saying 30 g of caffeine wont kill you. but it would be agonizing and slow and not very reliable.
 
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RedHarlequin

RedHarlequin

Mage
Jul 8, 2018
530
The caffeine thing sounds like a way to get a heart attack. That doesn't necessarily mean you will die from the heart attack. If N and SN are out of question I'd research amitriptyline.
 
L

losteverthing

Member
May 21, 2021
34
The caffeine thing sounds like a way to get a heart attack. That doesn't necessarily mean you will die from the heart attack. If N and SN are out of question I'd research amitriptyline.
what can amitriptyline do ?
and also
caffeine will most likely cause ventricular fibrillation which most likely will cause cardiac arrest and not heart attack...
 
RedHarlequin

RedHarlequin

Mage
Jul 8, 2018
530
Look into the peaceful pill e handbook in the resources section, if you take it with the right medication you will pass out and amitriptyline itself is cardiotoxic . You would also need some anti-emetics but it is something you would need for any suicide method related to overdose.
 
L

losteverthing

Member
May 21, 2021
34
thats rather high. I dont know much about jumping cuz I hate heights . I think you should do some more research in the resources section. I am not saying 30 g of caffeine wont kill you. but it would be agonizing and slow and not very reliable.
thanks but i still think i would go for caffeine when time comes to ctb (i hope it will never be !)
i have no other option
and as far as pain ?
as long as it will kill me, i don't really mind...
Look into the peaceful pill e handbook in the resources section, if you take it with the right medication you will pass out and amitriptyline itself is cardiotoxic . You would also need some anti-emetics but it is something you would need for any suicide method related to overdose.
yeah as i said i will take antiemetics even before the caffeine
but how can i get the amitriptyline ?
btw i do have zolpidem which might help to get me unconscious and pass out (if i take large amount)
 
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RedHarlequin

RedHarlequin

Mage
Jul 8, 2018
530
what can amitriptyline do ?
and also
caffeine will most likely cause ventricular fibrillation which most likely will cause cardiac arrest and not heart attack...
Ventricular fibrillation can cause serious brain damage.
 
L

losteverthing

Member
May 21, 2021
34
Ventricular fibrillation can cause serious brain damage.
yeah
but can also cause cardiac arrest and death (which i count on)
Look into the peaceful pill e handbook in the resources section, if you take it with the right medication you will pass out and amitriptyline itself is cardiotoxic . You would also need some anti-emetics but it is something you would need for any suicide method related to overdose.
so do you know how and when can i get amitriptyline ?
if i go to my dr what can i tell her in order to get it ?
 
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RedHarlequin

RedHarlequin

Mage
Jul 8, 2018
530
yeah
but can also cause cardiac arrest and death (which i count on)
I can't imagine that you could pass out with caffeine while it does it's job because it has such stimulating properties. During the VF you would be unconscious, but I think that the time leading up to that would be pretty unbearable. For amitriptyline I'd just go to my doc, tell them you're depressed and can't sleep and maybe adding that you have a friend with similar problems and so you want to try it.
 
Bedrock48

Bedrock48

Dreadful damage, dreadful destiny
Feb 1, 2021
540
I will preface this by saying 1) I messed up with my last attempt and miscalculated the amount due to impulse. I had ~8.5g instead of the 10g I intended. Also 2) my answer might be a little gross/ unpleasant but I like to show as much of an unbiased and truthful view here wherever possible.

but if i use antiemetics that will prevent the nausea
+ if i'll be already sp weak because of the starvation and not getting any liquid

I didn't eat or drink for a fair chunk of time before my attempt except maybe 100ml water for taking the tablets. I still managed to throw up a good 3 litres of fluid over a 24hr period. Don't know where it can from but I was certainly severely dehydrated! I had small sips of water during that time but never kept it down. I was so dehydrated that I was losing my vision by the time I was in hospital.

Anti-emetics might aid if you've got strong stuff, I had a small dose of cyclizine but it didn't do a whole lot. The body is really good at getting rid of things it sees as poison.

I really don't see you surviving 30g (if you manage to ingest that much) but it might be unpleasant enough of an experience you end up calling for help. Best case scenario you either have a heart attack or lose consciousness and you're more or less unaware. A small amount of discomfort and that's it. Worst case, it could take a matter of days since caffeines a stimulant and will make sleep difficult. From experimenting with ODs of different severitys it seems it either works mainly on your stomach or on your heart. Idk why or what the science is behind that, just something I noticed.

I guess it's a case of weighing the pros and cons, how desperate are you to willingly risk a drawn out ctb attempt. Its up to you man.

Forgot to mention : There's other ways that caffeine ods can kill or injure, not just heart attack. You can get hypokalemia (low potassium). Pretty dangerous on its own and severe enough can put you in a coma. Hyperglycemia (high blood sugar) again pretty dangerous and comes with its own host of symptoms, coma is possibly but less likely from just caffeine. You can also mess up your kidneys so that's something to watch out for.
 
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L

losteverthing

Member
May 21, 2021
34
During the VF you would be unconscious, but I think that the time leading up to that would be pretty unbearable. .
yeah that's my main problem
i'm trying to figure how much time will it takes...
most cases i saw took around 4 hours to die
so i wonder when a person passed out during that time
 
demuic

demuic

Life was a mistake
Sep 12, 2020
1,383
Caffeine od is extremely painful/agonizing. You might end up calling for help to escape it. You can also survive a heart attack. All in all a very bad idea.

Really give the resource thread a look.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/
 
L

losteverthing

Member
May 21, 2021
34
I will preface this by saying 1) I messed up with my last attempt and miscalculated the amount due to impulse. I had ~8.5g instead of the 10g I intended. Also 2) my answer might be a little gross/ unpleasant but I like to show as much of an unbiased and truthful view here wherever possible.



I didn't eat or drink for a fair chunk of time before my attempt except maybe 100ml water for taking the tablets. I still managed to throw up a good 3 litres of fluid over a 24hr period. Don't know where it can from but I was certainly severely dehydrated! I had small sips of water during that time but never kept it down. I was so dehydrated that I was losing my vision by the time I was in hospital.

Anti-emetics might aid if you've got strong stuff, I had a small dose of cyclizine but it didn't do a whole lot. The body is really good at getting rid of things it sees as poison.

I really don't see you surviving 30g (if you manage to ingest that much) but it might be unpleasant enough of an experience you end up calling for help. Best case scenario you either have a heart attack or lose consciousness and you're more or less unaware. A small amount of discomfort and that's it. Worst case, it could take a matter of days since caffeines a stimulant and will make sleep difficult. From experimenting with ODs of different severitys it seems it either works mainly on your stomach or on your heart. Idk why or what the science is behind that, just something I noticed.

I guess it's a case of weighing the pros and cons, how desperate are you to willingly risk a drawn out ctb attempt. Its up to you man.
thank you so much for that reply !
about ingesting 30g
it's not problem at all, because i will take the caffeine as powder.
also it's so weird that you throw up
this is something i scared that will happen to me
and as far as how desperate i am, then i'll say that if i will lose in my attempt to get out of this nightmare i live in for the past 7 years and achieve my dream
then i have nothing in life, and i'm completely lost forever
and i'll be willing to do almost anything to die
Caffeine od is extremely painful/agonizing. You might end up calling for help to escape it. You can also survive a heart attack. All in all a very bad idea.

Really give the resource thread a look.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/
what pain will i feel ?! where in my body ?
if it's nausea and vomiting
then i'm counting on fasting before the attempt + i'll be using antiemetics
and thanks but i already checked tons of methods in the resources
and except from jumping there is nothing else
but i'm afraid that if i'll survive the attempt i'll end up paralyzed
 
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Bedrock48

Bedrock48

Dreadful damage, dreadful destiny
Feb 1, 2021
540
Caffeine od is extremely painful/agonizing. You might end up calling for help to escape it. You can also survive a heart attack. All in all a very bad idea.

Really give the resource thread a look.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/

Yeah, I pushed through for about 27 hours total. I'd have to be super desperate to risk going through that again. Some just get lucky and pass out into a coma, not my luck sadly aha.
 
L

losteverthing

Member
May 21, 2021
34
Yeah, I pushed through for about 27 hours total. I'd have to be super desperate to risk going through that again. Some just get lucky and pass out into a coma, not my luck sadly aha.
where did you feel ?
like where did the pain occur ?
headaches ?
nausea ?
or what ?
Yeah, I pushed through for about 27 hours total. I'd have to be super desperate to risk going through that again. Some just get lucky and pass out into a coma, not my luck sadly aha.
also how much time did you fast ?
 
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Bedrock48

Bedrock48

Dreadful damage, dreadful destiny
Feb 1, 2021
540
where did you feel ?
like where did the pain occur ?
headaches ?
nausea ?
or what ?

This time most of the pain was located in my chest, mostly a 5 on the pain scale if my memory serves me correctly. Constant nausea. The worst part for me was dizziness, that was so so bad. If I moved anywhere I basically had to do so 1 step at a time, resting between steps to help stop the room spinning. Once I was too weak to do that i basically just stayed in the same spot on the floor.

From the throwing up I got gastritis which caused my throat to burn, I think that was the most painful bit. Only starting after 20 hrs or so and I think that combined with the fact I couldn't walk is what ultimately led me to call for help.

Dying isn't the prettiest process sadly.
 
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losteverthing

Member
May 21, 2021
34
This time most of the pain was located in my chest, mostly a 5 on the pain scale if my memory serves me correctly. Constant nausea. The worst part for me was dizziness, that was so so bad. If I moved anywhere I basically had to do so 1 step at a time, resting between steps to help stop the room spinning. Once I was too weak to do that i basically just stayed in the same spot on the floor.

From the throwing up I got gastritis which caused my throat to burn, I think that was the most painful bit. Only starting after 20 hrs or so and I think that combined with the fact I couldn't walk is what ultimately led me to call for help.

Dying isn't the prettiest process sadly.
thank you for all the info !
i'm sorry had to go through that
i think that when the times come i'll go for the caffeine od method
 
Bedrock48

Bedrock48

Dreadful damage, dreadful destiny
Feb 1, 2021
540
thank you for all the info !
i'm sorry had to go through that
i think that when the times come i'll go for the caffeine od method

As I say, its all up to you. What you feel is the right course of action for your circumstances. It is what it is, you can learn from all experiences in life but I'm just thankful I seem to have no permenant damage from the affair. Sending best wishes!
 
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