Discussion can you remember the last time you were happy or felt alive?

[baller]

I've been thinking about this a bunch, the last time i felt happy but i really cant remember it. I never know if it was true happiness or like, simply a brief distraction. I don't know if I have ever been truly happy, and if i can i cant remember it.

But as for feeling alive, i could tell you that in full detail. I wonder why that is.
I must've been like 5 or 6, me and my family were visiting cousins and stuff in another country. Had an uncle ask me and my older sister if we wanted to ride on his motor cycle and we said sure. It was all three of us on that motorcycle, and I got to sit at the very front. the sun had gone down already but the streets were busy and the lights of all the houses and shops were bright. I dont think i had a helmet, but it didn't matter to me. as we rushed through those streets i felt, yk, scared shitless, but i remember at one point feeling completely alive, maybe i'm an adrenaline junkie lol. I'd love a motorcycle but i heard my whole childhood and stuff about how dangerous they were from my parents. My mum would tell me about someone she knew who got in a huge motorcycle accident.

anyway, if i've felt 'alive' after that, then i cant remember it. That is probably one of the most significant memories i have.

Its interesting how you can feel alive on the verge of death.

 

[S like suicide]

No:(

 

[billie]

the last time i was happy was when i got my laptop and all the expansion packs and gameplay packs of sims 4

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I have no idea what feeling "alive" means because I don't want to be alive. As for feeling happy, I tend to feel happy over random shit but it doesn't matter

 

[baller]

the last time i was happy was when i got my laptop and all the expansion packs and gameplay packs of sims 4

hell yeah

 

[TheAngelBornInHell]

I'm happy whenever I get to play and watch dragon ball z, it's my most favorite thing ever. but I can't really recall the last time I've felt alive, I do not feel like I am alive I'm just here physically and not present mentally. When I try to remind myself I'm alive I often feel my pulse..

 

[TheHolySword]

I haven't felt alive in a long time. I've been living on borrowed time. The last time I was happy was when I visited my brother in October. But that's a temporary happiness. The last time I was truly happy was when I knew this girl, we talked every day and it felt like pure magic. But even a happiness like that couldn't save me from the darkness I've been stuck in.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I'd never wish to suffer in this futile, torturous existence no matter what under any circumstances rather I just want permanent nothingness instead, to me existence itself is the true problem as after all it's the source of all suffering, I find it deeply undesirable to exist in every way possible. The fact that this existence was imposed at all is such a terrible tragedy, I wish I was never burdened with this existence more than anything, I see existence as an abomination that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there was never a need for at all and the thought of being enslaved in this existence with no limit as to how much agony one can feel just to die tortured by old age is so horrific to me. I'd never wish for the burden of existence, I'd never wish to be conscious of anything at all, to me existence truly does just feel like a mistake and what is so cruel is how I cannot just have the option of a death like never waking ever again even know all of this was forced in the first place.

 

[vercabow]

2022. i was depressed but i could still feel.. something. my favourite song of all time helped with that. it made me feel so alive.

 

[zekeyaeger]

the brain is tricky. it sometimes just broadcasts good parts of the worst times and the worst parts of the good times.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

That was several years ago when I still felt alive, I had plans for the future and I was happy about various things.

Those times are long gone.

 

[mrelief82]

Don't remember the feeling but I know it was 5,5 years ago

 

[:)0=]

I guess, it was when I felt notable effect from taking clomipramine and remembered emotions which I felt in childhood. )

 

[identitycrisis]

I've been thinking about this a bunch, the last time i felt happy but i really cant remember it. I never know if it was true happiness or like, simply a brief distraction. I don't know if I have ever been truly happy, and if i can i cant remember it.

But as for feeling alive, i could tell you that in full detail. I wonder why that is.
I must've been like 5 or 6, me and my family were visiting cousins and stuff in another country. Had an uncle ask me and my older sister if we wanted to ride on his motor cycle and we said sure. It was all three of us on that motorcycle, and I got to sit at the very front. the sun had gone down already but the streets were busy and the lights of all the houses and shops were bright. I dont think i had a helmet, but it didn't matter to me. as we rushed through those streets i felt, yk, scared shitless, but i remember at one point feeling completely alive, maybe i'm an adrenaline junkie lol. I'd love a motorcycle but i heard my whole childhood and stuff about how dangerous they were from my parents. My mum would tell me about someone she knew who got in a huge motorcycle accident.

anyway, if i've felt 'alive' after that, then i cant remember it. That is probably one of the most significant memories i have.

Its interesting how you can feel alive on the verge of death.

that sounds like a truly precious memory. i'm sorry that it's the only good that you can recall. i last felt happy before i deliberately ruined my only chance at love. i didn't even want to do it i just got the bpd thoughts and i couldn't bear the idea of them abandoning me so i had to cut it off before i would, i felt, get inevitably hurt.

 

[guineapiglover8503]

I have 3

a few months ago when I first started adderall, I went for a 9 mile walk and sat down and cried

a few years ago when I would ditch tennis practice and run to the woods with a friend and we would just walk around the woods and find cool shit. I miss her and I might text her again.

during COVID, when me and my friends would sneak out after quarantine ended and hang out at the nearby park. I loved that so much and I want to go back.

almost always, though, i feel numb. or in pain. when I am in my most severe mental pain, I feel alive. just the kind of alive where I wish I was dead. I hate my depression and i wish it would go away. I hated when it was seen as quirky and cool because this isnt quirky or cool. I dont want this and I beg for it to go away every night but i know it wont and i will just wake up the next day wishing I hadn't and feel like shit. I miss when I was younger and I had those friends. they were nice people

 

[Malfunction]

Last time I felt happy was probably 15 years ago. Prior to taking pills. I'm no longer on any meds, but I don't believe happiness will ever return.

I put on a smile for show, but there's not much left in the tank.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I last felt truly happy in 2023. Spending quality time with my wife and daughters made me happy and feel alive.

Then in 2024 my wife left me, took the kids, and I simultaneously had a manic episode. I had a lot of over-the-top exciting moments when I was manic, but I don't think it counts as true happiness or living because I was like a different person doing stupid things that ruined my life.

 

[ThatRussianDude]

Yes when i was in love.

 

[bananaolympus]

I guess like enjoying life and bright future thinking happy id say september 2019