Venting can we blame depression, circumstances, or is it our fault?

[_Minsk]

im so sick of being in this situation, and having to struggle with depression..
i hate that it forces me to be on my own, tears apart relationships and so on..
in this state i just know that things will go wrong, my mood makes others want
to stay distant, including my partner..

 

[WhyIsLife56]

Blame the circumstances. Especially since you didn't ask to be born

 

[OneBigBlur]

Circumstances, none of us asked for the things that happened to us or to be surrounded by horrible people. The more I think back on my life the more I realize that I never had a chance from the moment I was born and I can't blame myself for that.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Hey Minsk, the struggle is real when it comes to guilt and mental illness and sadly I can't give you a satisfying answer.

Responsibility is easier to accept when life's going great for you. That's when we all like to par ourselves on the back, successful people very seldomly have the humility to attribute their success to favorable circumstances and outside help.

But when shit hits the fan on the other hand it is very difficult to accept responsibility without overwhelming yourself with guilt and shame and it becomes very hard to judge where we failed and where we were instead failed by society and family.

Have you read any of the stoics?

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

All my fault. My mistakes. Wrong decisions. I don't blame the world or life. I blame myself. The problem is me.

 

[ForbiddenSiren]

Circumstances. We are molded by our environment.

 

[Tearygirl]

Everything is my fault. please let me die. i hate this painful life...

 

[ForbiddenSiren]

Everything is my fault. please let me die. i hate this painful life...

That's horrible you feel that way. But I doubt everything is your fault my friend, some things that happen we cannot control. We all make mistakes also.

Try not to blame yourself for everything in your life, we are all a project of our environment.

Hope you are okay :(

 

[MeltingHeart]

As highly connected and innately 'social' creatures the effects of our surroudings, soceity, all of the people we encounter and interact with, not to mention our upbringing can not go understated! Others human beings, the way we are treated can have a profound effect on us for good & bad. Being let down, unloved, neglected, emotionally abused and hurt by other people has broken me, my spirit and soul...and mind too. Its actually mind-blowing the selfishness, cruelty & thoughtlessness of some people.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Yes but see, my father and mother have definitely fucked up my life. My father was distant, mother engulfing. But they both were just as well traumatised by their parents and their society. Furthermore I can see the same evils in myself; people have been let down by me, people have been treated unfairly by me, I'm entitled, I lie, manipulate sometimes, etc etc...

At heart I believe in a sort of determinism. If I were you, I'd do as you do, basically; but then, how can I blame anyone? I'd have to walk around like Jesus Christ and love rapists, mass shooters and dictators.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

I've fallen through the societal cracks in many ways.
Once a person has fallen through the cracks, society examines the person.
The cracks are growing.
The examination of the "fallen people" deepens.
Why is everyone ignoring the cracks?

 

[WhyIsLife56]

I've fallen through the societal cracks in many ways.
Once a person has fallen through the cracks, society examines the person.
The cracks are growing.
The examination of the "fallen people" deepens.
Why is everyone ignoring the cracks?

They ignore the cracks because if they didn't they would have to face existential horror themselves.

 

[Guizin239]

i think in my case is a bit of both

 

[Mpez28892]

A mix of all three? I grew up In an ok environment/family (could've been so much worse...) But my BPD/bipolar manifested pretty early...my depression allowed me to master the art of sabotage; to myself and others- which landed me in some sticky circumstances.
TLDR; Yes it's all my fault

 

[Anathema]

Meh, I don't blame anything.

 

[Grandexit]

A little of each. I definitely got dealt a shit hand, but everyone did. I could have fought harder. At this time, other than sparing my parents the pain of losing me and the crap like claiming my body and so on, I don't see the point of continuing the fight. I see further living a continuous decline in living conditions. Why put myself through that? There isn't a "longest suffering" participation trophy at the end of this river of shit. I don't believe this world will be at all different the day before I ctb to the day after. An unremarkable life ending in an unremarkable way.

 

[PeaceisallIwishfor]

I believe it is my fault. I was privileged and made some very foolish decisions, but inevitably I don't know what else I could've done different.

 

[c824767]

im so sick of being in this situation, and having to struggle with depression..
i hate that it forces me to be on my own, tears apart relationships and so on..
in this state i just know that things will go wrong, my mood makes others want
to stay distant, including my partner..

write down your thoughts, then read what you wrote and figure out a way to think outside that box that you are creating for yourself. this helped me..I realized my thoughts were so dark, I got frightened by myself and the more I wrote and then judged the parts of it that were realistic and how many parts were less realistic, I felt better. ANd now I have the beginning of a book..

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

I couldn't help being born where I was amongst those trashy disgusting people. But in part it's also my fault for not trying hard enough to be social in high school. I probably wouldn't be here if I lived out those years normally.
So for me it's both the circumstances and my own bad decisions that lead to depression and downfall.

 

[c824767]

I couldn't help being born where I was amongst those trashy disgusting people. But in part it's also my fault for not trying hard enough to be social in high school. I probably wouldn't be here if I lived out those years normally.
So for me it's both the circumstances and my own bad decisions that lead to depression and downfall.

you do not have to try hard, it looks like you are not able to now, but try a little bit.

 

[Moonicide]

I'm sorry, love... My heart goes out to you. The way we grew up along with mental illness isn't our fault. No one gets to choose that. No one ever wants that for themselves and no one deserves it, ever. That is not our fault. Have you been in treatment or therapy by any chance? I know it's not for everyone, but make it's something to look into?

We're here for you.
Sending you my love and support.

On a final note with mental illness itself (not relating to your post)... That doesn't mean we aren't responsible for our actions in the end, if we find ourselves hurting people, being abusive, manipulating, etc. We need to look deep within ourselves and figure out why is that. Mental illness is never an excuse to do that to others. It took me so long to realize that and work on my toxic behaviors due to how I was raised.

 

[Nozzlehead]

I'd say it's my fault to a large degree.

 

[BlueWidow]

Many people on here have struggled in vain to improve their lives, despite any horrific circumstances they may have been in throughout their life. I certainly have. Some people attempt to get help, and they get it, and they go on to live a fulfilling life. Other people struggle to get help, they never get the help they need, and they end up here!