Can someone describe what a relationship would be like for me given my issues?

[Kramer]

I've never actually been in a relationship. I've been very close but always back out. I'm curious if I unknowingly did the right thing for myself and them.

Background info: I was abused as a child by my severely mentally ill mother in every category of abuse. I was later adopted by a nice family, which kept me relatively mentally stable until I moved out as an adult. Then my problems turned into a shitshow. I developed ptsd and ocd in childhood.

 

[Sensei]

I can't. I think that you shouldn't deprive yourself of love because you have issues, though. What about going really slow into a relationship, step by step?

 

[Kramer]

I can't. I think that you shouldn't deprive yourself of love because you have issues, though. What about going really slow into a relationship, step by step?

One girl I obsess about wasn't an issue for awhile because my reasoning while in my apartment was "Holy shit. If she were to see all these insane OCD compulsions and my anxious erratic behavior. "

 

[x~Sophia~x]

I think this is something you should be talking about with your psychiatrist. I doubt any of us here are qualified to advise you.

 

[Kramer]

I think this is something you should be talking about with your psychiatrist. I doubt any of us here are qualified to advise you.

Nothing wrong with speculation. Anyway, its very irritating that people can't differentiate between a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Psychiatrists are legal drug dealers. Your problems are irrelevant to them. They care about diagnoses only.

 

[Kramer]

Psychiatrist/Psychologist... who cares? How do you expect any of us to know how your relationships would pan out, given your issues?

Jeez, give us a break! Most of us are struggling with our own relationships, we don't need to contend with your relationships on top!! Ffs


I left you an angry face instead of a hug... I hope you appreciate it!?

So petty. If my issues are too much, then you shouldn't have bothered to comment in the first place. There are posts on this site I don't comment on because I don't have the mental energy for it.

 

[noaccount]

I think in some of my past relationships I was "masking" somewhat, which is unfair because it made me somewhat dishonest about my true personal thoughts and feelings, because I was worried about people losing interest.

More recently I think I was being pretty upfront with someone I was seeing for a while, but she herself was very confused and didn't know what she wanted and wound up breaking things off.

When you talk about worrying about how a partner would view your OCD compulsions or other issues - what issues in another person do you feel would be dealbreakers for you, ie what would stop you from finding someone else attractive, trustworthy, enjoyable to be with? If you could still feel happy with someone else who had issues like yours, then probably there are other people who would be happy with you the way you are?

 

[Kramer]

I think in some of my past relationships I was "masking" somewhat, which is unfair because it made me somewhat dishonest about my true personal thoughts and feelings, because I was worried about people losing interest.

More recently I think I was being pretty upfront with someone I was seeing for a while, but she herself was very confused and didn't know what she wanted and wound up breaking things off.

When you talk about worrying about how a partner would view your OCD compulsions or other issues - what issues in another person do you feel would be dealbreakers for you, ie what would stop you from finding someone else attractive, trustworthy, enjoyable to be with? If you could still feel happy with someone else who had issues like yours, then probably there are other people who would be happy with you the way you are?

If I was normal, seeing a woman act as I do would be a dealbreaker.

 

[Haramburger]

One girl I obsess about

This is probably not the best wording to start out that sentence. One would hope you're "interested" in them, but if it's genuine obsession let's start the discussion there with the right expectations...

Most OCD behavior can be overlooked or other people will get accustomed to it depending on what exactly it is. Keep in mind that real intimacy is farting openly around your partner and smacking/pushing each other based on how fast the smell travels and how bad it stinks, then tossing each other brews.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I think this is something you should be talking about with your psychiatrist. I doubt any of us here are qualified to advise you.

Yeah, we could say this to anybody in relation to any issue. Let's just close down the forum and go see our therapists, that might be the best solution.

 

[Kramer]

This is probably not the best wording to start out that sentence. One would hope you're "interested" in them, but if it's genuine obsession let's start the discussion there with the right expectations...

Most OCD behavior can be overlooked or other people will get accustomed to it depending on what exactly it is. Keep in mind that real intimacy is farting openly around your partner and smacking/pushing each other based on how fast the smell travels and how bad it stinks, then tossing each other brews.

I can't handle stuff like that. I have a roommate who's a woman and seeing slight residue in the toilet and on the seat has forever killed any desire I could possibly have for her. I was never attracted to her but bodily stuff like shit is awful to me.

 

[NightmareTour]

I don't think it's really possible to predict that based on just your past, because people react to their experiences differently. There's definitely the potential for there to be problems, but you could also be able to figure out any difficulties and have a healthy relationship. It all depends on how you personally cope and what the other person is like.

 

[Kramer]

I don't think it's really possible to predict that based on just your past, because people react to their experiences differently. There's definitely the potential for there to be problems, but you could also be able to figure out any difficulties and have a healthy relationship. It all depends on how you personally cope and what the other person is like.

It's not a past problem. These are chronic problems that get worse with age. If me and her had had a kid (it happens), our household would be a living hell right now.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I've come to the conclusion that everyone on the planet has some level of personal defects. I don't care who you are there are others in the world who have it as bad or worse than you, and they are in relationships and experiencing love.

You'll never know how you will respond in a relationship until you get into one. Perhaps being in a loving relationship will help you to better deal with your issues.

 

[Nymph]

Probably need to meet someone sensitive and empathetic and slowly go into a relationship. It's difficult finding the right person but I'm sure there's someone out there who would be careful with you and not go "too fast" and slowly get to know you