ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
857
I'm afraid of what I may see around me. Lately, my psychotic episodes have occurred more often. I don't know why this is happening now, years of nothing and now this.

I feel like an insane person asking my boyfriend to close the dish washer because it looks like a set of teeth, ready to grind me. Or feeling like vomiting when eating his lovely made dish that, to me, looks like brains.

Can one go insane? Where is the line in BPD?
 
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Blue Elephant

Blue Elephant

Mage
Sep 22, 2023
519
Can you close your eyes, breath, recenter, and then reopen and see if you see something else?
 
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nozomu

nozomu

Global Mod // will i wiN my recovery arc
Nov 28, 2022
1,082
I feel like it can happen when we're pushed over our limits for too long. I feel this way sometimes.
 
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ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
857
I just got off the phone to the psych hospital. On the last appointment they said I would see the psychiatrist tomorrow and they would call me to tell me the hour, now they're saying they will evaluate tomorrow and then access whether I need to see her.

Wtf, I even called prior to the last appointment to be seen earlier if possible, because I'm going through this shit and now the thing I was holding on for, getting meds tomorrow, will be postponed. I don't even have risperidone for beyond tomorrow nor zoplicone, they only give meds weekly, wtf am I going to do???

They even ask what the urgency is, it's on the fucking notes, I'm seeing evil things around me and it's all against me and mocking me!!!!
 
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M

Manfrotto99

Specialist
Oct 10, 2023
303
Don't know how it works where you are, can you get into to see your Gp who can push things along faster for you.
 
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tiger b

tiger b

AI without the I
Oct 24, 2023
1,236
It sounds like you're still going through very difficult times. Best wishes to you
 
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WAITING TO DIE

WAITING TO DIE

TORMENTED
Sep 30, 2023
1,539
I have suffered from depersonalisation and derealisation in the past and there were times when I definitely thought I was going insane.
Im not sure about BPD but I think a lot of mental illnesses can be made much worse by stress.
Sorry you are going through this, and hope the symptoms ease off soon.
 
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hopeisdead

hopeisdead

Into the void.
Aug 15, 2023
40
I feel like it can happen when we're pushed over our limits for too long. I feel this way sometimes.
Absolutely. I think this is what happened to me. Too much stress for too long. I sincerely feel like I lost my mind.
 
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nozomu

nozomu

Global Mod // will i wiN my recovery arc
Nov 28, 2022
1,082
Absolutely. I think this is what happened to me. Too much stress for too long. I sincerely feel like I lost my mind.
I wonder if I'm even a person anymore, sometimes
 
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ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
857
Don't know how it works where you are, can you get into to see your Gp who can push things along faster for you.
The GP is awful where I live, not even 2 stars on Google maps. Last time I sobbed talking about feeling suicidal and was shown a kids cartoon about depression and told to "eat well, exercise and sleep well". Got so freaking angry, when I was home alone I cried histerically. Just felt like punching the living shit out of the asshole of a doctor.

Tomorrow will be the psychiatrist appointment so I'm hoping she will increase the Risperidone and maybe give me something to knock me out at night because the zolpliclone is doing nothing.
 
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D

Dayrain

Arcanist
Feb 3, 2023
419
I wonder if I'm even a person anymore, sometimes
What do you think you are then if not a person, like if you feel like a zombie, a zombie is kind of a person too?
 
AnonymousRobin

AnonymousRobin

little bird fly away
Oct 7, 2022
193
I've been going through similar recently, insomnia mixed with bpd and schizophrenia means I'm really not sure when I'm awake or asleep or what's real at any given time
 
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RichardFirst

RichardFirst

Specialist
Jan 16, 2021
383
Sounds a bit like this: Depersonalization-derealization disorder

I have suffered form this myself. I think that it's a natural reaction from a mind that is overloaded with stress or anxiety. Alternatively, maybe what we call reality is illusionary and this is just our realising it?
 
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