Method Can I Run This Past People!

[InsideOutOne]

Ok, so I'm new here and I have a plan in place to end my life, I've lurked for a while so done a lot of reading on here.

I'm ready to CTB and have spent some time working out what method was best for me. I've frequently OD on meds bought online but obviously always survived, there has been five OD's this year. I'm tired of fighting an illness that's invisible, depression and I'm tired of staying alive for the sake of others.

I've managed to access Fentanyl Patches 25 micrograms / per hour release ones and have 15 patches. My plan is to use all of these with a heat source such as a hot water bottle to speed up the release of the drug. I've also got over 80 x 5mg Diazapam to add into the mix.

I obviously don't want to come back from this and more so I don't want to end up with brain damage. I live alone so being found is not a problem, my plan involves sending a delayed email via Outlook to some people asking them to alert the police, this would be sent some 8 hours after I've put my plan into place.

 

[InsideOutOne]

No replies?

 

[Brackenshire]

Im sorry life has brought you to this . A calm heart and a peaceful journey friend and welcome home if you decide to stay. Would you care to share what has brought you to this ?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I would check to see if there's a way to send a message directly to the police rather than ask friends to do it. Also, I personally would plan for a few days, not 8 hours.

 

[Soulless Angel]

a delayed email to the police is prob your best bet, ot sure how it works but I have seen it mentioned here before

 

[TAW122]

Others have good suggestions and GPE's suggestion is on point. This is because it is possible (rare event) that you may end up dying but not fully gone and wake up later. Also, having a few days gives you more time to prepare and/or account for potential changes in plan or variables not being right.

 

[InsideOutOne]

I would check to see if there's a way to send a message directly to the police rather than ask friends to do it. Also, I personally would plan for a few days, not 8 hours.

It's not friends I would be emailing, but certain members of the mental health team who have seriously let me down over the last three years. The other issue is if I don't turn up around 10am to my dad's and he can't contact me as I am his carer, he would get concerned. The earliest I could carry out the plan would be 8pm which would give me 12 hours or so. The only other way to bide my time is to lie to dad and say I am going to meet a friend (which I have done to give me breathing space at times) but he'd still expect me to call him!

Im sorry life has brought you to this . A calm heart and a peaceful journey friend and welcome home if you decide to stay. Would you care to share what has brought you to this ?

Three years ago I made an attempt which left me in ICU and ever since then life has not improved. I am deeply unhappy and feel there is just no purpose to continue. I've actively engaged with the mental health team in crisis but get no longer term support - they keep refusing to take me on because I am high functioning. The depression is slowly killing me and I would rather speed up the process.

a delayed email to the police is prob your best bet, ot sure how it works but I have seen it mentioned here before

I use Outlook and you can delay when an email is sent, I actually learnt that from here when I was lurking!

Others have good suggestions and GPE's suggestion is on point. This is because it is possible (rare event) that you may end up dying but not fully gone and wake up later. Also, having a few days gives you more time to prepare and/or account for potential changes in plan or variables not being right.

This is what worries me, I don't want to end up not dead and with severe brain damage. I could also access a bottle of Oramorph if this would help guarantee my death.

I need to do this and get it right, I don't want to wake up, it is time for me to leave. I am 43 and there is just no point in living anymore.

 

[Brackenshire]

Only another Depressant truly understands how it feels.

 

[InsideOutOne]

Only another Depressant truly understands how it feels.

Definitely. Yesterday I made a huge mistake which has consequences to fuck up my life even more. I am done with feeling pressured to do things people expect of me, I am done trying to get mental health professionals to understand. I am done with life. Fuck trying to perfect everything.

 

[InsideOutOne]

Definitely. Yesterday I made a huge mistake which has consequences to fuck up my life even more. I am done with feeling pressured to do things people expect of me, I am done trying to get mental health professionals to understand. I am done with life. Fuck trying to perfect everything.

Yeah massively made a mistake, backtracking now on it and trying to solve the mess!

 

[MrAsclepius]

Mixing it with diazepam as you said will increase the likelihood of death greatly.

Goodluck.