Method Can diazepam actually make death peaceful? (or just lock me in a mental hellscape...)

[Anhedonic]

When I first started looking into this three years ago, amitriptyline plus diazepam plus antiemetics seemed like the most accessible and peaceful method, and the long duration wasn't a problem for me.

Three years on, as I find myself back in a similar place, I'm starting to feel like I was indulging in wishful thinking. The crux? Being sedated and being free of pain aren't the same thing. Sure, people who say they've failed at this method say they don't remember any pain, but that's not the same as not experiencing any. It seems entirely possible that a high dose of diazepam produces anterograde amnesia upon awakening, but that you still have conscious experiences while you're sedated.

This article says "They do not provide any analgesia" but then just after, "Benzodiazepines are primarily used for premedication and sedation and also for induction of general anesthesia in high doses."

Does it just mean they don't provide analgesia when you've taken a small dose and aren't "fully under"? Or perhaps it's possible they induce a state that would be considered a general anaesthetic but where you could still feel some kind of pain?

I'm sure minds do weird things when they're dying, and I'm just imagining being deeply sedated but finding myself trapped in some horrible dream world where I know I'm dying and I can feel all the pain of it in some abstract nightmarish way and it goes on for what feels like an eternity because my perception of time is severely distorted.

I know there's no definitive answer to this because no one has been there and come back with memory of what they experienced, but I'd appreciate if anyone could share their thoughts on this or point me to any resources that might shed some more light on it. I can certainly see the irony in the possibility that in trying to escape I might find myself locked in an eternal hellscape of my mind's own creation.

 

[Fragile]

i've been wondering about this, but like you said, there is no definitive answer and we'll probably never know for sure. the brain is such complex organ and there are so many processes involved with sedation, this is specially hard to answer because of the way that benzodiazepines work when compared to other sedatives.

time is relative and it may be different when we are in our final moments, but i don't think that it is in any way eternal, at some point your body stops functioning and you can no longer dream or think in any way.
we still don't know how consciousness works, but i see no reason to think that you can be stuck inside an eternal hellhole in your dreams, and even if you experience something like that, it will be temporary since the body starts shutting itself down as it begins to die. besides, maybe you'll even dream something pleasurable since the ultra high dose of benzodiazepines will calm and soothe you almost invariably.

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

I'm sure minds do weird things when they're dying, and I'm just imagining being deeply sedated but finding myself trapped in some horrible dream world where I know I'm dying and I can feel all the pain of it in some abstract nightmarish way and it goes on for what feels like an eternity because my perception of time is severely distorted.

I know there's no definitive answer to this because no one has been there and come back with memory of what they experienced, but I'd appreciate if anyone could share their thoughts on this or point me to any resources that might shed some more light on it. I can certainly see the irony in the possibility that in trying to escape I might find myself locked in an eternal hellscape of my mind's own creation.

I'm very similar to yourself in this way regarding the concerns though not with diazepam. I would be more concerned having taken a psychedelic substance than a drug that essentially 'dulls' you.
I'm a benzo addict, primarly diazepam, and will be loading up on it before going through with my exit, not so much so as that im more likely to make mistakes but not too little so that the fear/anxiety of everything associated turn me in to a nervous wreck make it a definitive failiure. I really wouldn't attempt another drug cocktail OD. In the past ive mixed benzos, amitryp, pregablin, zoplicone in high doses and just woke up choking in puddles of vomit. I also took heroin and/or alcohol with some and always survived. I had such a violent seizure i broke both my shoulders, a hip, arms you mayaswell say anything. A 7-8 month before i could even lightly walk. Never again for me. The only people who OD and die PEACEFULLY i think is the wrong word brings celebs to mind whod been on concoctions of these things for years and turns out they were actually sensitive to one of them and then they hit that sweet spot and get lucky. Well lucky to us that is, its hard to tell who Accidently OD'd, Intentionally or was murdered.
Good luck and best wishes for your future.