longingforrelease
Specialist
- Oct 27, 2018
- 381
Hi all,
I'm new to this group, but I'm grateful I've found you. I'm approaching the point at which I think the release of death is indeed preferable to continuing to live in the misery that is my life. I suffer from bipolar, have a history of drug and alcohol addiction.In a bout of uncontrolled mania I did terrible, shameful things in my personal life -- things that cost me: 1) every shred of my self respect, 2) my family (wife understandably left me and she was the appropriate one to get custody of our daughter), 3) a high profile and (more importantly) deeply meaningful job, 4) my standing in the community, including a modest international profile, 5) my home. To top all that off, owing to the only job I could find in my field I now live 10,000 miles from my daughter and family. I owe much more to the IRS than I can ever possibly pay. it goes on. In short, I'm here in this group for a reason. The tricky part is, and I've read threads here so I know this is common, I want it to look like an accident. I want the insurance to pay my daughter and more importantly, I don't want my daughter (she's ten) to suffer the additional grief of knowing her father killed himself. I've been counseled about the complex array of injuries suicide causes children. So here's the early stages of a plan. I'm a scuba diver. At least I'm still certified but I haven't dived in about 10 years. The country I now live in has lots of diving so I was thinking that I could somehow ctb while on a dive. Do any of you have thoughts about this? Like many of you, I'd prefer my departure to be as peaceful and painless as possible. And I hear that there might be ways (diving too deep, etc.) that I could make this happen while diving. Many thanks for considering my plea. Blessings to you all.
I'm new to this group, but I'm grateful I've found you. I'm approaching the point at which I think the release of death is indeed preferable to continuing to live in the misery that is my life. I suffer from bipolar, have a history of drug and alcohol addiction.In a bout of uncontrolled mania I did terrible, shameful things in my personal life -- things that cost me: 1) every shred of my self respect, 2) my family (wife understandably left me and she was the appropriate one to get custody of our daughter), 3) a high profile and (more importantly) deeply meaningful job, 4) my standing in the community, including a modest international profile, 5) my home. To top all that off, owing to the only job I could find in my field I now live 10,000 miles from my daughter and family. I owe much more to the IRS than I can ever possibly pay. it goes on. In short, I'm here in this group for a reason. The tricky part is, and I've read threads here so I know this is common, I want it to look like an accident. I want the insurance to pay my daughter and more importantly, I don't want my daughter (she's ten) to suffer the additional grief of knowing her father killed himself. I've been counseled about the complex array of injuries suicide causes children. So here's the early stages of a plan. I'm a scuba diver. At least I'm still certified but I haven't dived in about 10 years. The country I now live in has lots of diving so I was thinking that I could somehow ctb while on a dive. Do any of you have thoughts about this? Like many of you, I'd prefer my departure to be as peaceful and painless as possible. And I hear that there might be ways (diving too deep, etc.) that I could make this happen while diving. Many thanks for considering my plea. Blessings to you all.