longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
Hi all,
I'm new to this group, but I'm grateful I've found you. I'm approaching the point at which I think the release of death is indeed preferable to continuing to live in the misery that is my life. I suffer from bipolar, have a history of drug and alcohol addiction.In a bout of uncontrolled mania I did terrible, shameful things in my personal life -- things that cost me: 1) every shred of my self respect, 2) my family (wife understandably left me and she was the appropriate one to get custody of our daughter), 3) a high profile and (more importantly) deeply meaningful job, 4) my standing in the community, including a modest international profile, 5) my home. To top all that off, owing to the only job I could find in my field I now live 10,000 miles from my daughter and family. I owe much more to the IRS than I can ever possibly pay. it goes on. In short, I'm here in this group for a reason. The tricky part is, and I've read threads here so I know this is common, I want it to look like an accident. I want the insurance to pay my daughter and more importantly, I don't want my daughter (she's ten) to suffer the additional grief of knowing her father killed himself. I've been counseled about the complex array of injuries suicide causes children. So here's the early stages of a plan. I'm a scuba diver. At least I'm still certified but I haven't dived in about 10 years. The country I now live in has lots of diving so I was thinking that I could somehow ctb while on a dive. Do any of you have thoughts about this? Like many of you, I'd prefer my departure to be as peaceful and painless as possible. And I hear that there might be ways (diving too deep, etc.) that I could make this happen while diving. Many thanks for considering my plea. Blessings to you all.
 
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L

Limbo

Experienced
Oct 8, 2018
281
I didnt read any of that because you havnt used paragraphs, but you might want to look into hyperventilation.
 
dysfunctional

dysfunctional

Arcanist
Oct 26, 2018
459
Hi all,
I'm new to this group, but I'm grateful I've found you. I'm approaching the point at which I think the release of death is indeed preferable to continuing to live in the misery that is my life. I suffer from bipolar, have a history of drug and alcohol addiction.In a bout of uncontrolled mania I did terrible, shameful things in my personal life -- things that cost me: 1) every shred of my self respect, 2) my family (wife understandably left me and she was the appropriate one to get custody of our daughter), 3) a high profile and (more importantly) deeply meaningful job, 4) my standing in the community, including a modest international profile, 5) my home. To top all that off, owing to the only job I could find in my field I now live 10,000 miles from my daughter and family. I owe much more to the IRS than I can ever possibly pay. it goes on. In short, I'm here in this group for a reason. The tricky part is, and I've read threads here so I know this is common, I want it to look like an accident. I want the insurance to pay my daughter and more importantly, I don't want my daughter (she's ten) to suffer the additional grief of knowing her father killed himself. I've been counseled about the complex array of injuries suicide causes children. So here's the early stages of a plan. I'm a scuba diver. At least I'm still certified but I haven't dived in about 10 years. The country I now live in has lots of diving so I was thinking that I could somehow ctb while on a dive. Do any of you have thoughts about this? Like many of you, I'd prefer my departure to be as peaceful and painless as possible. And I hear that there might be ways (diving too deep, etc.) that I could make this happen while diving. Many thanks for considering my plea. Blessings to you all.
Seems like a good idea, just don't leave a trace of researching it on your computer.
 
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WaitingForTheBus

WaitingForTheBus

Student
Oct 27, 2018
136
Surely if you went deep enough with a limited air supply, you're just going to drown, right?
 
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N

No1SpecL2U

Member
Jul 22, 2018
29
Clearing any records of searching for accidental will help your cause when people go looking for answers.

Diving without a buddy in a cave, open water without enough air to a greater depth are all obvious ways. Otherwise you may just find yourself in a hyperbaric chamber. There are additional dangers with Nitrox.

I'm sorry you have found yourself here with us now. I can relate to the child situation along with the other feelings. I sincerely wish you all the best.
 
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Justanotherconsumer

Justanotherconsumer

Paragon
Jul 9, 2018
974
Havent went diving in decades but was once a hobby, nitrogen psychosis occurs when deep diving and staying to long past the diving tables recommend. People get loopy, not something i would do insurance or no, drowning or dying by "the bends"both excruciating.
 
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longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
I didnt read any of that because you havnt used paragraphs, but you might want to look into hyperventilation.
thanks, sorry for the poor paragraph construction.I would penalize my own students for such an error!
 
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longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
Seems like a good idea, just don't leave a trace of researching it on your computer.
right. I've seen that advice before. I'll study up on how to do effectively do that. I suppose reinstalling the operating system is one way to go. Thanks'
 
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longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
Surely if you went deep enough with a limited air supply, you're just going to drown, right?
that's what I'd think. What I'd like to learn is more about what seems to be referred to as nitrogen narcosis that would render the experience less distressful. Like many, classic drowning seems luck a pretty miserable way to leave.
 
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longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
Havent went diving in decades but was once a hobby, nitrogen psychosis occurs when deep diving and staying to long past the diving tables recommend. People get loopy, not something i would do insurance or no, drowning or dying by "the bends"both excruciating.
Right! This I've heard something about. I'd like to learn more. But I assume nothing would raise a red flag with a dive buddy or instructor (given the length of time since my last dive I assume I will have to take a refresher course) that extensive questioning about nitrogen narcosis and going to deep, etc. But that's exactly the track I was considering.
 
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WaitingForTheBus

WaitingForTheBus

Student
Oct 27, 2018
136
that's what I'd think. What I'd like to learn is more about what seems to be referred to as nitrogen narcosis that would render the experience less distressful. Like many, classic drowning seems luck a pretty miserable way to leave.
Sorry mate, with that I can't help you. I do agree though that drowning would be a traumatic final experience. Still, desperate people take desperate measures.

Hope you find the info you're looking for.
 
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Justanotherconsumer

Justanotherconsumer

Paragon
Jul 9, 2018
974
Right! This I've heard something about. I'd like to learn more. But I assume nothing would raise a red flag with a dive buddy or instructor (given the length of time since my last dive I assume I will have to take a refresher course) that extensive questioning about nitrogen narcosis and going to deep, etc. But that's exactly the track I was considering.

The deepest I've dived is about a hundred feet, in peuget sound, anything past 50ft. Is completely pitch black, don't even know if your going up or down except by looking at your bubbles, this is probably how people with nitrogen narcosis die, they just swim down while thinking it's up, run out of air.
 
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longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
The deepest I've dived is about a hundred feet, in peuget sound, anything past 50ft. Is completely pitch black, don't even know if your going up or down except by looking at your bubbles, this is probably how people with nitrogen narcosis die, they just swim down while thinking it's up, run out of air.
thanks!
 
Prime

Prime

A Nihilist
Oct 25, 2018
210
Read the thread on shallow water blackout method. If you do it "deep water blackout", it'd be better. You can hyperventilate before diving. Or you can take something that knocks you out in about a minute. Its easy to hold your breath for a minute. Dive deep after taking it. And it should work.
 
Last edited:
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ouvreyes

ouvreyes

シシ
Oct 7, 2018
131
Maybe look up some safety guidelines regarding nitrogen narcosis and doing the opposite?
 
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longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
Read the thread on shallow water blackout method. If you do it "deep water blackout", it'd be better. You can hyperventilate before diving. Or you can take something that knocks you out in about a minute. Its easy to hold your breath for a minute. Dive dipe after taking it. And it should work.
Thanks so much. I'll check out that thread for sure. much appreciated.
 
longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
Clearing any records of searching for accidental will help your cause when people go looking for answers.

Diving without a buddy in a cave, open water without enough air to a greater depth are all obvious ways. Otherwise you may just find yourself in a hyperbaric chamber. There are additional dangers with Nitrox.

I'm sorry you have found yourself here with us now. I can relate to the child situation along with the other feelings. I sincerely wish you all the best.

Clearing any records of searching for accidental will help your cause when people go looking for answers.

Diving without a buddy in a cave, open water without enough air to a greater depth are all obvious ways. Otherwise you may just find yourself in a hyperbaric chamber. There are additional dangers with Nitrox.

I'm sorry you have found yourself here with us now. I can relate to the child situation along with the other feelings. I sincerely wish you all the best.
not sure I responded to your note but wanted to thank you for both your helpful feedback and the kindness of your note. I so appreciated that.
 

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