Today I listened to an interview with a true crime podcaster. This true crime genre is quite popular in my country. It was an old woman. She was quite analytic about the topic for me maybe a little bit too cold-hearted. Maybe it is a form of protection when one is exposed to cruel suffering stories like every single day.
I gave this genre a shot some years ago. Not my cup of tea. One can learn a lot about the human mind and the abyss of humankind. Though I rather would prefer lectures of scientists otherwise it leaves me the feeling of kitchen sink psychology. I mean if your knowedge only consists of being a listener to such stuff it can lead to some biases.
I think now it is quite obvious where I got from the idea of this thread. I think in a slightly different form we discussed this already. Will everyone commit suicide under certain circumstances? I think the answer were more heterogenous than I expected it. I said yes.
Now to the question of the title. Yes I think under certain circumstance everyone can become a murderer. It was also her conclusion. Let's say killing oneself does not count as murder. She refered to violence and pressure during childhood which can lead people to murder other people. Wanting to have the power over the lives of other people. I compared that with my case. I was abused as a child and the things that make people prone to become a murderer were similar to the way I was raised. Though I absolutely don't have any interest in violence. I think I am quite peaceful. Even when I was psychotic I was a pacifist. I am very glad about that when I see in the news what happens to violent delusional people. Though I also developed the desire for power. To reign over people. Probably one reason why I wanted to become politician. It was quite a niave dream. I am absolutely not made for becoming a politician. I rather think I might even was a little bit too much of a pacifist. I blame myself that I did not defend myself enough against my mom or bullies. But this thought is bullshit. All the things I was taught made me completely dysfunctional. I was an easy target. I had no chance to escape that.
What could lead me to murder? Probably when suicide is defined as murder. Though I absolutely dislike that because murder is often defined as an action which was committed for vile reasons. This is why I hate the term self-murderer. People who commit suicide are not evil.
Now to murdering someone. I am often quite anxious about driving a car. I avoid it as good as possible. I almost never drive. I am even anxious and neurotic about that. I think I am not kind mentally unstable and I don't have trust in my abilities. I am scared I could accidentally kill someone.
Now to a planned murder. Honestly I gets more and more difficult. Maybe I underestimate my mind. I think if someone threatened me severely. Like when someone would be close of torturing me. However I am quite weak so I needed a weapon. I hope this never happens. And i think it is quite unlikely. I am kind of a shut-in. Though I dislike this term.
I could now try to analyze when other people could become murderers in general. But I basically don't have a clue and who cares about my opinion anyway?
Instead I write about something else.
She also talked about how past generations of Germans were accomplices during the Nazi regime. Personally I think yes this could repeat for sure. Many people are sheep. We see this is in Russia. If there is a violent regime many people are concerned mostly about their own well-being. Many average Germans became murderers.
Then she talked a little bit about victims of crimes who are in the cage of self-pitying and an always repeating thought-loop. Sadly I could relate to that a lot. But I have made some progrees at least for now. I think when I relapse this will all repeat.
Do you think we all could potentially become murderers? I think yes.
I gave this genre a shot some years ago. Not my cup of tea. One can learn a lot about the human mind and the abyss of humankind. Though I rather would prefer lectures of scientists otherwise it leaves me the feeling of kitchen sink psychology. I mean if your knowedge only consists of being a listener to such stuff it can lead to some biases.
I think now it is quite obvious where I got from the idea of this thread. I think in a slightly different form we discussed this already. Will everyone commit suicide under certain circumstances? I think the answer were more heterogenous than I expected it. I said yes.
Now to the question of the title. Yes I think under certain circumstance everyone can become a murderer. It was also her conclusion. Let's say killing oneself does not count as murder. She refered to violence and pressure during childhood which can lead people to murder other people. Wanting to have the power over the lives of other people. I compared that with my case. I was abused as a child and the things that make people prone to become a murderer were similar to the way I was raised. Though I absolutely don't have any interest in violence. I think I am quite peaceful. Even when I was psychotic I was a pacifist. I am very glad about that when I see in the news what happens to violent delusional people. Though I also developed the desire for power. To reign over people. Probably one reason why I wanted to become politician. It was quite a niave dream. I am absolutely not made for becoming a politician. I rather think I might even was a little bit too much of a pacifist. I blame myself that I did not defend myself enough against my mom or bullies. But this thought is bullshit. All the things I was taught made me completely dysfunctional. I was an easy target. I had no chance to escape that.
What could lead me to murder? Probably when suicide is defined as murder. Though I absolutely dislike that because murder is often defined as an action which was committed for vile reasons. This is why I hate the term self-murderer. People who commit suicide are not evil.
Now to murdering someone. I am often quite anxious about driving a car. I avoid it as good as possible. I almost never drive. I am even anxious and neurotic about that. I think I am not kind mentally unstable and I don't have trust in my abilities. I am scared I could accidentally kill someone.
Now to a planned murder. Honestly I gets more and more difficult. Maybe I underestimate my mind. I think if someone threatened me severely. Like when someone would be close of torturing me. However I am quite weak so I needed a weapon. I hope this never happens. And i think it is quite unlikely. I am kind of a shut-in. Though I dislike this term.
I could now try to analyze when other people could become murderers in general. But I basically don't have a clue and who cares about my opinion anyway?
Instead I write about something else.
She also talked about how past generations of Germans were accomplices during the Nazi regime. Personally I think yes this could repeat for sure. Many people are sheep. We see this is in Russia. If there is a violent regime many people are concerned mostly about their own well-being. Many average Germans became murderers.
Then she talked a little bit about victims of crimes who are in the cage of self-pitying and an always repeating thought-loop. Sadly I could relate to that a lot. But I have made some progrees at least for now. I think when I relapse this will all repeat.
Do you think we all could potentially become murderers? I think yes.
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