Microdosing shrooms has helped me immensely. I no longer feel totally lethargic all the time and only constantly think of death. I can do school work with the help of them. Fast forward to today when something bad has happened to me recently and I'm thinking about death as a solution. Whenever I'm in a rough spot I think of death as a solution. It's not quite with the desperation I felt before shrooms but I still feel that it's logical. Shrooms have helped me have motivation and overall sense of well-being but haven't really seemed to change my mind. Actually on a high dose it just reinforced this thought. Can antidepressants change my mind? I don't want to hurt anymore.
When I'm not in a rough spot I still think about death, just I have no desire to seek it out. I still think I'd be better off dead though. Everyone would be better off dead. There'd be no more suffering. This mindset makes it hard for me to truly be okay. It's unshakable. It makes it hard for me to imagine having friends. Who would want to or even should be around someone like me? I'm all alone. What kind of life is that being all alone all the time?
When I'm not in a rough spot I still think about death, just I have no desire to seek it out. I still think I'd be better off dead though. Everyone would be better off dead. There'd be no more suffering. This mindset makes it hard for me to truly be okay. It's unshakable. It makes it hard for me to imagine having friends. Who would want to or even should be around someone like me? I'm all alone. What kind of life is that being all alone all the time?
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