Called “greedy” by sister

[rabbithole]

One sister called me greedy when I told her I was suicidal, other said she'd spit on my grave. My mom and dad said they'd die without me. Yet I'm the one meant to suffer. I don't know. I can't do it. My mental fortitude was worn down by being harassed and bullied throughout school and then at work. Then I became disabled by a lumbar puncture. I am just done.
Sorry for continually posting. I know there's nothing anyone can say to change things for me. I just wish there was.

hope you guys are doing alright.

 

[Miss_Takes]

Dont be sorry for posting Rabbit. Keep posting ... keep talking.

 

[Unlucky Self]

I can only imagine how awful that is. I hope you resolve your family relationship to what's best for you.

 

[Jarni]

I'm really sorry for you, but I think you should not talk about your CTB to your family. It can be dangerous for you and don't make your relations with your family better. This can just add suffering to you. Unfortunately we are alone to take the decisions like this...

 

[rabbithole]

Dont be sorry for posting Rabbit. Keep posting ... keep talking.

Thank you <3 I really appreciate your kindness.

I'm really sorry for you, but I think you should not talk about your CTB to your family. It can be dangerous for you and don't make your relations with your family better. This can just add suffering to you. Unfortunately we are alone to take the decisions like this...

Good point. It isn't a great idea to talk to them about it. It only causes more stress for everyone. I guess I'm always searching for their support or something to alleviate my guilt.

 

[signifying nothing]

Good point. It isn't a great idea to talk to them about it. It only causes more stress for everyone. I guess I'm always searching for their support or something to alleviate my guilt.

If what you said in the opening post is their first reaction to you voicing your desire to die, then I would give it some time to sink in and let them maybe get a bit more used to the idea. I don't know enough about them of course, but their thoughts and reactions might change with time?

 

[rabbithole]

If what you said in the opening post is their first reaction to you voicing your desire to die, then I would give it some time to sink in and let them maybe get a bit more used to the idea. I don't know enough about them of course, but their thoughts and reactions might change with time?

Everyone I talk to about it just references people who have it "worse". Like quadriplegias and paraplegics or people with ALS or end stage cancer. They all say I should not be suicidal with arachnoiditis - even though it is one of the worst pain conditions that exist. Idk what to do or where to turn anymore. It's not even like I want to die. I just can't figure out how to live. Oop. Sorry for rambling

 

[signifying nothing]

Everyone I talk to about it just references people who have it "worse". Like quadriplegias and paraplegics or people with ALS or end stage cancer. They all say I should not be suicidal with arachnoiditis - even though it is one of the worst pain conditions that exist. Idk what to do or where to turn anymore. It's not even like I want to die. I just can't figure out how to live. Oop. Sorry for rambling

Yeah, that kind of talk isn't helpful.

Feel free to ramble on here all you want - its what this place is for.

 

[NumbItAll]

I have to think their reactions come from a place of pain, but that doesn't excuse them shaming you for having suicidal thoughts. Sorry you're going through that.