Buying a pre-paid funeral service.

[dandan]

Okay, so I'm flying back home this weekend.

I intend to buy a pre-paid funeral service voucher, which accepts suicide's as a death method (because some dont).

I would then have to give the information to my brother and mother, because if I die, I dont want them to pay.

Pre-paid, is almost half the price!

My family wont like it, but they have to accept it, or at least have the information in their email, just in case.

Do other people who ctb, think about the same thing?

This pre-paid funeral service is almost half my savings!! It's a lot of money in my opinion... but... might give me a little comfort...

 

[TiredHorse]

I have pre-paid my cremation. It saves quite a lot of money and simplifies the eventual arrangements for my family at a time when they will inevitably be in some consternation. It also makes (more) certain they'll follow my request of how I want my remains disposed of.

 

[dandan]

I have pre-paid my cremation. It saves quite a lot of money and simplifies the eventual arrangements for my family at a time when they will inevitably be in some consternation. It also makes (more) certain they'll follow my request of how I want my remains disposed of.

Yeah, I think so too. Nice, well done, may I ask how old are you?

thanks,

 

[TiredHorse]

I'm 49.

 

[Jenna]

I'm 49.

I am too. I have a niche. I hadn't thought about pre paying for cremation. I'm going to look into that. I have expressed wishes of no service. If I can pre pay that then expenses would be lower. Does it ever raise red flags?

@dandan thank you for bringing this up. It's posts like this that make me so mad that people think we just want to pass our pain on. I'm so sorry anyone finds themself in this predicament. Xx

 

[DrownedOctopus]

I didn't even know this was a possibility tbh. Thank you for posting this thread.
I'm sorry I have nothing to contribute other than a thank-you.

 

[TiredHorse]

Does it ever raise red flags?

The woman I spoke with at the cremation service was very discrete (and very pleasant); she never asked direct questions. Why would she? She isn't a cop or a shrink; she's selling cremations. Just in case, I mentioned doctors and "sometimes things don't turn out the way you've planned." She took the hint and assumed fatal disease.

No one imagines suicidal people are considerate, so they don't imagine we'd pre-purchase our disposal. People's minds shy away from the subject anyway, it's so taboo. Even if they start making enquiring noises, with a little thought and preparation it's easy to avoid sending up red flags.

 

[dandan]

im trying to buy a pre-paid service.... but talking with the assistance / or sales rep , is some what difficult.... I have to be very clear so there's no misunderstanding...

let's see what happens

 

[Mort]

Well i work out i can have my body dumped in my local landfill. No funeral no grave for any one to tend to best thing ever just dont want be a bother to any one even in death.

 

[TiredHorse]

Well i work out i can have my body dumped in my local landfill. No funeral no grave for any one to tend to best thing ever just dont want be a bother to any one even in death.

If you choose any route for disposal other than a conventional one, you will be a bother. Sorry. That's just the way The System works. Even "self-disposing" of your corpse (going missing) will create more fuss than just letting the authorities find you and complete their beloved paperwork. The way to genuinely "not be a bother" is to streamline the process as conventionally as possible.

 

[Wolfjob_dayjob]

Tired Horse! Hey. I heard in this video and just assume second hand in the moment it can be....really stressful to have to worry about how to handle the deceased..which can lead to pressuring into maybe unfair prices for funeral arrangements in the heat of the moment. Does anybody like thinking about it? The final arrangements? But i suppose its necessary and eventual no matter how you die, and it can save some grief for your next of kin when the time comes.



(tell me to delete if not relevant, nice to see you around)

 

[Bloodtearsdust]

Pre-paid services are definitely the way to go. Class on death and dying included visits to funeral homes. They don't ask questions and it's a popular thing that really all sorts of people do, suicidal, terminal or healthy. It's a peace of mind thing and not weird or suspicious. My eccentric grandfather bought a grave plot for my family, not out of being morbid... but out of wanting to make sure that wasn't an expense any of us had to deal with. Just make sure the funeral home you are dealing with does not have fine print that excludes suicides. I have not seen one yet that does..but that could just be country specific

Tired Horse! Hey. I heard in this video and just assume second hand in the moment it can be....really stressful to have to worry about how to handle the deceased..which can lead to pressuring into maybe unfair prices for funeral arrangements in the heat of the moment. Does anybody like thinking about it? The final arrangements? But i suppose its necessary and eventual no matter how you die, and it can save some grief for your next of kin when the time comes.



(tell me to delete if not relevant, nice to see you around)

I love music.. so for me... having my own playlist has been very important for me. No Amazing Grace. That's a hard no.

Pre-paid services are definitely the way to go. Class on death and dying included visits to funeral homes. They don't ask questions and it's a popular thing that really all sorts of people do, suicidal, terminal or healthy. It's a peace of mind thing and not weird or suspicious. My eccentric grandfather bought a grave plot for my family, not out of being morbid... but out of wanting to make sure that wasn't an expense any of us had to deal with. Just make sure the funeral home you are dealing with does not have fine print that excludes suicides. I have not seen one yet that does..but that could just be country specific

I love music.. so for me... having my own playlist has been very important for me. No Amazing Grace. That's a hard no. Also yes, I do think about it. When I leave, I will be a burden to no one. That's also very important to me

 

[TiredHorse]

The funeral industry is, as its name suggests, an industry, principally interested in maximizing its profits. If they can up-sell your family, they will. As @Wolfjob_dayjob suggests, another good reason to pre-pay.

Shop around. I discovered that there are occasionally "cremation societies" (I used Cremation Society of Washington https: //cremationsocietywa.com/) that do not offer funeral services, only cremation. I think they offer a choice of coffins (since it's required by law that you be in a box when they put you in the oven), but nothing fancy. I opted for a cardboard box and ended up paying something like $1,008, which includes picking up my corpse at the morgue and then hand-delivering my cremains to an address in the state. Well worth it to streamline the process for my family.

 

[dandan]

The first lady on the phone sucked. Had to hang up and write an email to talk with higher management, everything went smoothly. Suicide was mentioned and treated as is, no questions no disturbances, as a business, I'll look into it in the next couple of days.

 

[TAW122]

The funeral industry is, as its name suggests, an industry, principally interested in maximizing its profits. If they can up-sell your family, they will. As @Wolfjob_dayjob suggests, another good reason to pre-pay.

Wow, today I learned something new. I knew that funerals can be expensive, but I didn't know they also aggressively upsell and try to get the most out of the deceased family's wealth if they can.

 

[TiredHorse]

Wow, today I learned something new. I knew that funerals can be expensive, but I didn't know they also aggressively upsell and try to get the most out of the deceased family's wealth if they can.

Exotic hardwood coffins lined in silk taffetta with gold-plated hardware, and full looks-like-life embalming treatments, are pretty damned pointless when it'll all be reduced to ash anyway, but those are still marketted to cremation customers.

There are predators in every industry, and I've heard some pretty nasty stories about predatory funeral homes. Not all undertakers are predators but, unsurprisingly, they want to make as much money as possible. Shopping around to get what you want, and pre-paying it so that your family doesn't need to worry about it --or need to defend themselves from predators-- is a considerate detail when planning your own death.

 

[hegesias]

I don't wanna a funeral when I dye, but I wanna be cremated.

 

[Deleted member 1496]

In the USA, Funeral Homes are regulated by the FTC. The parts I remember:

• They must (in my case, they didn't but legally are supposed to) provide you with a General Price List as soon as you begin talking about prices or when you ask for a price list. It must be one you are allowed to take home. The price list shows you an itemized list of costs. Hopefully, you can avoid paying over their normal prices of whatever they attempt to (up)sell you and know what their complete offerings are. Maybe even shop around. You can sometimes find it on their individual web sites too.
  
  
• Some items, like caskets, are not included in the price list. Nevertheless, they must show you a casket price list, though unlike the General Price list, it doesn't need to be one you can take home. Also, you don't need to buy a casket from them in order to use their funeral services. You can buy your casket elsewhere, and funeral homes are not allowed to charge you extra for bringing your own casket (BYOC).
  
  
• Each place should have a basic offering (e.g., a straight cremation or straight burial. no memorial service, parade, or whatever). You don't need to pay for anything you don't want above the legal requirements (e.g., some states require embalming in certain situations, so in that case you need to pay for the embalming).
  
  
• At the end of the day, your contract should give you an itemized list and what things will costs. A package might be offered at a discount, and they may not breakdown what each line item's discounted cost is, but it should still give you a fully itemized list of what you're getting and a total cost for the entire list. Further, if you buy a casket, urn or permanent location, get a picture of it to include with your papers. Bad places can switch it on you, and when you're dead, no one will know they put you in a cheaper container if they don't know what you purchased.

[Venting] ps. I don't know this because of my own future death. My parents dump a lot of responsibilities on me, including this, but I wish they took care of their own lives. One reason they've stated for having me was to take care of them (the other is carry on the family name). So messed up.