glitchgirl
A glitch that was never meant to exist
- May 29, 2020
- 57
I'm weighing my options again (no pun intended) but most of my depression comes from this relentless condition. The one thing that affects me every single day, and it hurts. My teeth are rotting, stained yellow and full of deep cavities. I've had my wisdom teeth removed in hospital and deep painful procedures to save my other infected teeth. The pain was easily a 9 since I've never experienced pain for months to the point of depending on strong painkillers just to get a few hours of sleep. I have a deeper cavity my dentist found a few weeks ago, and this one is giving me a lot of pain but I'm embarrassed to go back. He doesn't seem to understand that my stomach acid has caused my teeth to erode etc and not just the crap ton of sugar I consume on a daily basis to keep myself functioning. I know that doesn't help but I know who the main culprit is. I wish I had never developed bulimia, yeah I lost 7 stone (over 130lbs) get complimented about how good I look. Can fit into small sizes and feel confident but that's just the façade. Inside I'm hurting, stretch marks all over my body, loose and saggy breasts that make me look like an 80 year old. Feeling exhausted after walking up 1 flight of stairs just to get to my flat. And the constant weakness and damage I'm doing to my heart is worth dying for. I'm not going to live long anyway if I choose recovery since the damage is done, and I could drop dead from low potassium any day. So please if you are chubby or have an extra amount of fat, it's not the end of the world and you should be fine if you make sure to excerise and eat well. Don't do what I did, it isn't worth it. I'd do anything to go back in time last year and listen to the guy who told me he loved my body for how it is. But it's too late now. I'm sorry mummy for worrying you about my size and throwing up the delicious spaghetti bolognaise you made just for me.