Venting Bulimia is finally catching up to m e

[Octavina]

Getting a potassium infusion, tired and in pain from the 8hour drip. My heart could give out anytime now since my risks are so high. I'm not thinking about ctb, I want to recover but my fear of gaining weight is literally killing me. I'm scared and actually feel like living for once. But if my heart finally gave out, I hope a cardiac arrest isn't too painful but I know it won't be peaceful like the way it's shown on House M.D haha
I love you guys, I can finally be myself here and not be shamed. xx