BPD is killing me

[TheLastGreySky]

I'm so tired of it. My emotional well-being is dependent on my favorite person coming to live with me, and I feel so pathetic over but I don't know how to change my thinking.

I might be on the CTB bandwagon again,
I'm just tired of the roller coaster.

I know I'm probably preaching to inquired but I just wish I could STOP.FUCKING.HURTING over every little trivial thing.

 

[EepyRina]

yea, i don't like how my emotions are dependent on a person and can change in a flash. I understand how shit it feels. i'm sorry you're dealing with this.

i really understand like even the smallest things causing a meltdown. i hope you're able to get better, but i understand that hearing that with this illness is pretty easy to scoff at.

 

[malevolentdiety]

I'm so tired of it. My emotional well-being is dependent on my favorite person coming to live with me, and I feel so pathetic over but I don't know how to change my thinking.

I might be on the CTB bandwagon again,
I'm just tired of the roller coaster.

I know I'm probably preaching to inquired but I just wish I could STOP.FUCKING.HURTING over every little trivial thing.

I heard something interesting lately. About suicides. Apparently it's not always mental illness. The people that often kill themselves simply believe that their lives are not worth living.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

yea, i don't like how my emotions are dependent on a person and can change in a flash. I understand how shit it feels. i'm sorry you're dealing with this.

i really understand like even the smallest things causing a meltdown. i hope you're able to get better, but i understand that hearing that with this illness is pretty easy to scoff at.

Thank you, I've honestly moved away from this site because unless circumstances have changed since she came to live with me. Hoping you all the best, thanks guys.

 

[notevenhere]

I hear you.

My diagnosed bpd is actually the reason I'm for sure CTB. see, in all my relationships, crushed and whatever situationships— I just thought I loved really intensely or I'm a very romantic and clingy person?

Apparently, no. Imagine my shock when I found out about having a favorite person, black and white thinking and whatnot.

Worst thing is I can't even take antidepressants because it fucks with my physical health (have a neurological condition.) so I'm definitely hopeless.

I hope you escape this.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

I hear you.

My diagnosed bpd is actually the reason I'm for sure CTB. see, in all my relationships, crushed and whatever situationships— I just thought I loved really intensely or I'm a very romantic and clingy person?

Apparently, no. Imagine my shock when I found out about having a favorite person, black and white thinking and whatnot.

Worst thing is I can't even take antidepressants because it fucks with my physical health (have a neurological condition.) so I'm definitely hopeless.

I hope you escape this.

I know BPD is very soul crushing, and I had to go without medication for a long time because the side effects were at times worse than the symptoms. Recently I have made a lot of progress in my personal life, but I just want to stress that I'm not a special case...

The hardest thing you'll ever have to do in life is choose to change your perspective.
But that is truly the first step towards finding happiness. As you can see from my post not being too long ago- I still do struggle with BPD almost daily, but I've come a long way from where I started.

 

[itwasallascream]

It's been 17 days since mu wife left and the pain is still as intense as day 1. Nothing I've done changes it. I can't live like this. I'm so alone and so unloved and so rejected and so abandoned. Our genes are not programmed for this. I wish I could just turn off my social gene and then I wouldn't need anyone. Being alive is too much.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

It's been 17 days since mu wife left and the pain is still as intense as day 1. Nothing I've done changes it. I can't live like this. I'm so alone and so unloved and so rejected and so abandoned. Our genes are not programmed for this. I wish I could just turn off my social gene and then I wouldn't need anyone. Being alive is too much.

I'm 32, me and my ex wife were together from 17 to 28 before she divorced me, it almost killed me.
I know it's a lot of unbearable pain.
But you can do anything you set your mind to.
Things do get better.

 

[itwasallascream]

Day 48 and the pain is the same