Venting BPD and Men

[dxstressed]

When I am not involved with a man, I notice my symptoms aren't as bad, my moods still swing and I still have hallucinations and my views are constantly changing but I feel more stable. However I recently entered a sexual relationship with a man, and he cut it short, saying that he could not continue it any further, despite the fact we had both developed feelings for each other. This has really messed with my head today and made me feel so crap about myself and I just don't know what to do.

Why is nobody ever happy with me? I feel like I'm destined for nothing in this world, and I keep spending money I don't have to spend.

Just angry today guys,
Dxstressed xoxo

 

[WornOutLife]

If he wasn't happy with you, he's not the one for you.

There is a man waiting for you out there but my personal experience is that in order to be in a relationship again, first I gotta stabilize my mind!

 

[dxstressed]

If he wasn't happy with you, he's not the one for you.

There is a man waiting for you out there but my personal experience is that in order to be in a relationship again, first I gotta stabilize my mind!

That is very true, but as a gay man I find the good ones are few and far between and I just thought things would be different this time.

It just pains me feeling not good enough, and then it triggers my impulsive behaviours, desperately seeking that attention - primarily unsafe sex and spending.

 

[life-eternal]

Is part of BPD constantly changing thoughts or perspectives? because i have that 100%, everything changes from 1 minute to the next it is driving me insane when i start analysing my thoughts/behaviours. My psych told me he thinks i have a very severe case of BPD, but i couldn't relate to anything i found online about it.

 

[Vilthuril]

I'm a male with BPD but I feel like other people in general exacerbate it. It seems preferable to just live in a cave or something but total isolation makes me want to die even more. I noticed a lot of people on this site have BPD. I guess it makes sense since you read about the statistics regarding suicide, it seems BPD has a worse prognosis than some cancers.

 

[life-eternal]

I'm a male with BPD but I feel like other people in general exacerbate it. It seems preferable to just live in a cave or something but total isolation makes me want to die even more. I noticed a lot of people on this site have BPD. I guess it makes sense since you read about the statistics regarding suicide, it seems BPD has a worse prognosis than some cancers.

im a male with BPD too, apparently. I say apparently because it isn't diagnosed but my psychologist of 3 years finally told me what he thinks is wrong with me after i asked him many times.

 

[hellodarkness]

Your feelings make a lot of sense through the lens of a BPD person. What you feel is valid. The fear of abandonment is huge, the rapid overvaluation and then devaluation of self and others is pretty classic. Are you a particularly limerent person? A lot of interesting readings on limerence.

I hear mixed things but DBT is supposed to be the magic pill for BPD so to speak.

 

[Deleted member 22693]

i am with you there i am always feeling no good enough for anybody here in the uk which along with loss of family members due to bereavement has pushed me to consider suicide and various methods society seems to get its jollies from inflicting harm on others for some reason it is designed to break the best of us so i hear you op i am new here but can relate to so many postings and hardships this life is a hell none of us asked for, i say new i have been registered a while but my first post, as i feel desperate for a way out like many here i guess, i hope you're feeling ok and just lost for words at how unfair and judgmental this society is,

 

[paininme]

I have bpd I find it easier to handle being alone I have always struggled in relationships I tended to sabotage them and be toxic myself then play victim and be heartbroken by the abandonment as It sucks I learnt I was the problem and spend my life now trying to be the least shitty person I can to others

 

[dxstressed]

i am with you there i am always feeling no good enough for anybody here in the uk which along with loss of family members due to bereavement has pushed me to consider suicide and various methods society seems to get its jollies from inflicting harm on others for some reason it is designed to break the best of us so i hear you op i am new here but can relate to so many postings and hardships this life is a hell none of us asked for, i say new i have been registered a while but my first post, as i feel desperate for a way out like many here i guess, i hope you're feeling ok and just lost for words at how unfair and judgmental this society is,

thank you x