Venting Boyfriend broke up with me, life is falling apart

[OffTheBullseye]

I was with my boyfriend for eight months and just last Friday he broke up with me after a week of being distant. He said I didn't do anything wrong or bad, but that he was unhappy in the relationship and didn't have feelings for me anymore. He didn't try talking to me at all about working things out before ending things, and even still said it felt like it could've been "preventable," and it's just broken me completely. It's so much worse than before. I thought we were going to make it. He said he didn't want to be with anyone but me. And now the one person I wanted to get better for, the one person that I've ever seen myself living in the future for, is gone. I'm used to him holding my hands, smiling when he sees me, studying with me, getting breakfast with me, texting him all the random shit about my day. Now if he sees me I'll get a wave if I'm lucky; more often just a passing glance. He doesn't seem to want to talk to me or be around me at all anymore; he still responds and reacts to the few texts I've sent him since it all happens, but if he sees me alone, he doesn't bother anymore to come say hi or anything. If we're in a group he'll stick around, but if it's just us two he'll leave. I just don't know what changed. I thought we worked so well. I was really, really expecting us to work out. He liked me so much that he'd cry about it, sometimes, and now none of those feelings are there anymore? I wanted a future with him and now he can't even stand to be around me after only a week of getting back from school?

He said he still wants to be friends after we've had some space, but I don't know how much space is too much for him because we feel so far away already. I don't want this weird awkwardness over our heads all the time. I want things to go back to normal and I'm scared he's going to get even more sick of me and just ditch me again. I miss him so, so much already and I genuinely cannot take it. I just want him to take me into his arms and hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay but he won't do that and it won't be okay. I just feel so discardable. I don't know why nobody wants to fight for me. I don't know why it's so easy for people to just get rid of me. He got over it so quickly and I don't know how. It just hurts.

I don't know. My counselor said to write him a letter, and I did, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea to send it. I just want him to change his mind so badly. I didn't choose any of this and I wish I had a choice or a say. I want to ask about it again, but I know if I want to be friends I shouldn't push it so I don't know what to do. I wish I knew how to say the exact right thing to make everything okay because my life feels like it's falling apart around me.

 

[Valhala]

I'm going through an even worse thing because I'm the one who broke up with the only woman I really loved in my life months ago. We loved each other so much and I'm the one who broke up more than once and she's angry and resentful for a reason. She doesn't trust me anymore and she doesn't believe that I really love her sincerely. I loved her always and every time I broke up I felt terrible but I was under enormous pressure that I didn't know how to control. Without her I lost all the meaning of life and the whole my value system has turned upside down. Without contact with her I'm only physically alive but I'm actually dead, deader than all dead people. I realized that I can't be with any other woman because for me there is only and only her and it's been like this for months , as time passes, the desire for her grows stronger. This agony I am going through has no solution and nothing else makes any sense to me.