Discussion Bought my first real set of blades

[squillykilly]

Today, I bought a razor pack of 10. I used to cut myself with an old pencil sharpener blade but it is too dull and causes me too much stress trying to cut. However these new blades are so sharp, I feel rather intimidated by them. I am quite nervous to use them..
It is also Summer for me, so cutting would be a baaaad idea for me...

 

[blumen]

can i ask a stupid question — why do you cut? i dont really understand why this is appealing to you. sorry if this sounds rude

 

[squillykilly]

I don't know why, maybe it's out of punishment, I don't like the body I am in so I harm it, there's many layers to it

 

[blumen]

i can understand that. does it give you satisfaction or a sense of accomplishment or something?

 

[l1ablemistakes]

I used to get away with cutting as a swimmer by doing it on my hips and going over the same spots. You can hide it pretty easily in most outfits. I'm not encouraging you but SH kept me alive at times. In my experience sharper = less pain. Don't press as hard as you think you need to. Stay safe. Always here if you need someone to chat to

 

[squillykilly]

i can understand that. does it give you satisfaction or a sense of accomplishment or something?

Not really, I feel disappointed in myself, but that's why I do it, like sending myself to a naughty corner

 

[vascomorrow]

can i ask a stupid question — why do you cut? i dont really understand why this is appealing to you. sorry if this sounds rude

I used to cut because I was so filled with emotions and I was trying to find a release. There was something about the pain, the sting, the blood that made me feel like I was letting go of emotions. It was a way for me to let go of the pain I was feeling on the inside, by creating pain on the outside. If that makes sense to you.

I also haven't done this in years. I also used to burn myself with cigarettes.