Venting Bottled Up Emotions

[BridgesFallingDown]

I bottle up my emotions a lot. Anger, sadness, any sort of negative emotion. I only show happiness but that doesn't mean it's fake, I am happy when I show it. I never let the negative spill out or it'll make me and anyone around me feel the same way. The last time I did, I got upset because I didn't like how a narrative was being spun and so I got defensive, it wasn't true. I get upset when people say things that aren't true about me. Today, I overheard a relative saying to another that I was crying and upset that one time for attention, etc. to purposely guilt another. So now I will never show any emotion other than happiness because I will look like a jerk or an attention seeker. But I know one day it will all spill out again since I can't keep it all in or it will overfill. I don't know what to do. I kinda want to kill myself.

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

I feel you I do the same thing. It's hard because the more you bottle up the more you're prone to outbursts, so the more effort you have to put for emotions not to spill. Personally, I try to have something I can go to when feelings surface, it's as little as watching goofy funny videos, It's still hard and the feelings never fully go away but it helps me sometimes, and I hope things get better for you