Body Dysmorphia

[Freaknik]

I have dealt with severe body dysmorphia ever since my teen years, and it has slowly gotten worse over time. I am disgusted by my appearance and constantly think about how others perceive me and, in turn, judge me. I have considered plastic surgery and intend to save up for some procedures, but my lack of motivation in life has created a barrier for me that is unable to push through. I will never find happiness in this body and feel hopeless. I have been held back by my insecurities for my entire life, and have avoided people/situations due to my unstable mind. I honestly have no idea where to go from here. The struggle with my appearance is just one piece of the puzzle that has led me to this point, and could honestly be the final push I need to find peace.

 

[loser098]

Same. It's become so bad that I don't go outside unless I'm forced to. I just hang my head down in shame the entire time I'm out.

Surgery gets so ridiculously expensive when you want to create meaningful changes to your appearance. With BD there's no guarantee that you'll be satisfied with the result(s). You could easily spiral and become even more suicidal while chasing a distorted image of how you should actually look.

There is no altering one feature that'd fix all of this. My foundation is ugly and only obscene amounts of wealth could help me begin to address it. Though, after a few surgeries I'd begin to feel like a fraud. Is it just me?

I have over a thousand images of myself at various distances, angles, and lighting. Eventually, I delete all of them permanently after getting pissed with my face and I start over again, somehow hoping to become attractive with time. I'd never share said pictures; I just want to understand what I look like to the rest of the world.

Anyway, what feature(s) bother you the most? Which surgeries would you get? Can you relate to seeing yourself in a mirror/in a picture and having your day utterly ruined?

It sounds like you're trapped.

 

[PlathWannaBe]

I relate to this very much. I spent €15k on my face (rhinoplasty, septoplasty, chin implant, ears were pinned back a bit to my head, and some fat was transferred to my under eye area and my forehead).

It changed my appearance a bit, but not radically, and people still don't find me any more attractive.

To top it off, my ears turned out slightly crooked, so that will have to be fixed at make point, which would cost more money. The area where the surgeon harvested the fat on my stomach is uneven, and he left me with a line on my stomach. And the chain implant makes me feel like my face is a bit too long now.

Now, I just want to pay to have the line on my stomach fixed, but that will likely cost approx. €4k.

I hate BD. I totally get your suffering and I'm sorry.

 

[Freaknik]

Same. It's become so bad that I don't go outside unless I'm forced to. I just hang my head down in shame the entire time I'm out.

Surgery gets so ridiculously expensive when you want to create meaningful changes to your appearance. With BD there's no guarantee that you'll be satisfied with the result(s). You could easily spiral and become even more suicidal while chasing a distorted image of how you should actually look.

There is no altering one feature that'd fix all of this. My foundation is ugly and only obscene amounts of wealth could help me begin to address it. Though, after a few surgeries I'd begin to feel like a fraud. Is it just me?

I have over a thousand images of myself at various distances, angles, and lighting. Eventually, I delete all of them permanently after getting pissed with my face and I start over again, somehow hoping to become attractive with time. I'd never share said pictures; I just want to understand what I look like to the rest of the world.

Anyway, what feature(s) bother you the most? Which surgeries would you get? Can you relate to seeing yourself in a mirror/in a picture and having your day utterly ruined?

It sounds like you're trapped.

I can sadly relate to looking in the mirror and having my day completely destroyed. In fact, it occurred earlier today - even in a seemingly normal place, such as a public bathroom, I stare at myself with distaste. But I agree with you in that I find all of my features to be ugly. My jaw is a bit recessed, my nose is somewhat large, and my eyelids literally cover half of my eyes. Those are just the proper flaws I can point out; the rest looks like Picasso's "Golden Muse" painting. Every time I mention my insecurities, people shrug it off and just mention that they dont understand what I am seeing in the mirror. I just don't know how I can lead a confident/fulfilling lifestyle without being comfortable in my own skin?

I relate to this very much. I spent €15k on my face (rhinoplasty, septoplasty, chin implant, ears were pinned back a bit to my head, and some fat was transferred to my under eye area and my forehead).

It changed my appearance a bit, but not radically, and people still don't find me any more attractive.

To top it off, my ears turned out slightly crooked, so that will have to be fixed at make point, which would cost more money. The area where the surgeon harvested the fat on my stomach is uneven, and he left me with a line on my stomach. And the chain implant makes me feel like my face is a bit too long now.

Now, I just want to pay to have the line on my stomach fixed, but that will likely cost approx. €4k.

I hate BD. I totally get your suffering and I'm sorry.

My worst fear is going through the troubles of having plastic surgery performed, only for people to still not find me attractive or being just as disgusted with how I appear. I don't have any motivation to save enough money for surgery - meanwhile my dysmorphia gets worse by the day.

 

[hi-okbye]

for me it comes in waves. i have spent months never leaving my house because i don't want to be seen. i have also had days where i feel great. acne ruined my teenage years, i would hide in my house and have trouble making friends because of how bad it was. i also hated my body. i struggled with eating disorders throughout my teen years too. i would constantly search for defect in myself, and when i found them they destroyed me. i relate to how you feel, and i hope you can find peace and acceptance soon, much love <33

 

[Krisis]

I believe you will find happiness within your body, and I hope you come to believe this too. Recently, I have been struggling with my image at an unprecedented level, so I understand how towering these obstacles may seem, but I have faith in you. Try to be kind to yourself; it's what you deserve.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Lost weight. Wasted money on surgery. Still hate myself and look disgusting. I wish I didn't take stock in how I look and could just accept that I'm objectively unattractive. But it sucks. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I want to like myself. But I cant and I never will. Physically I look decades older than I am. And when it comes to my face, someone recently told me I look inbred. So. Best I can do is give up trying to improve. I'm unfixable

 

[ApproachingDeath]

I too have struggled with dysmorphia, specifically my face. It all started in late elementary school where I began hyper fixating on my face and noticing all of its flaws. From that day forward, I was highly critical of myself. I avoided certain lighting, tried to hide my face, and dreaded social interactions. My anxiety was always at an all time high as I hated being perceived. As I grew older, I was able to have facial surgery rather quickly but with no regard to my mental well being and dysmorphia. That being said, looking back at my prior self, I realize now, I never needed any surgeries, and I actually was experiencing body dysmorphia. It's heartbreaking to admit, but my surgeries left me in a far worse state than I was to begin with. I truly did not think I could hate myself even more than I had already did, but I sorely wrong. Now I feel permanently disfigured and even correctional surgery could not help me and just added fuel to the fire. I am even more insecure now and have become a shell of my former self. I have no friends, no job, and stay to myself 99.9% of the time because I am completely and utterly disgusted with myself. I can honestly say I do not even recognize the face in the mirror anymore and try my best to avoid mirrors, which has led me to not bother with my appearance— as no matter what I do, I will always see myself as ugly and disfigured. So for those insecure about your body or your face, please education yourself on the risks and find out if it's body dysmorphia first because you may not be seeing a proper true image of your real self. And realize, you are putting a lot of trust into a surgeon who may not have your best interest at heart and may not be honest with you about whether or not you even need the surgery as you are simply a pay check to them.

 

[Specific_Milk]

I don't really give a shit for terms. I just hate my body and just everything about myself really. I literally have some inbreeding in my family line and I'm probably a retard because of that. I have family members who are slow and disfigured. Most have not gone to university. I've been cursed to fail right from my fucking conception. I don't understand why this world is so cruel. I don't care for surgery, I just want to die. I don't get why I'm not allowed to die.