Venting Bloody beyond stressed and suicidal BC of it like always

[SmallKoy]

I took both of my kittens to get spayed today and all I'm saying is nobody told me it was gonna be like this. I'm so unbelievably stressed it's insane. One of my cats is very chill and not taking off the makeshift onesie I made for her, but the other one is just a battle at the moment. It's died down right now, she's wearing the makeshift onesie but usually she wears it for a couple hours then she gets it off somehow. I ordered two actual onesies off Amazon that should come tomorrow and I'm hoping they work and I can keep them on until they are both fully healed from the spay. I fucking hate this. Don't get me wrong I would do anything for them and I will endure this for them it's just not easy. I feel like I'm under immense stress and pressure and I'm SO SCARED either of their wounds are going to open especially since they are such active kittens and are bonded and love wrestling (which I do my best to prevent. They also love jumping and literally everything you can think of. I have to monitor them at all times especially because they're so active.

I'm so tired rn. I got up at 7 am today and am on such low sleep from the stress and anxieties of this all. I'm probably be irrational but this is seriously so stressful for me it makes me want to die. Anytime I feel stressed I feel such overwhelming thoughts of suicide. My brain would rather not deal with it all and just die instead. I would never die BC of my cats. I'm going to take care of them. It's just so fucking hard + school + work + everything else. I know I probably come off really annoying in this but I really am just venting. Thank you if you took the time to read it. I know it wasn't worth it.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I get how it feels to be stressed over something that may sound ridiculous to others. The smallest things stress me out. and as you mentioned that it causes lack of sleep and then causes us to be a irrational.

I hope your kittens recover soon. It sounds like you are a great parent to them.

 

[-Link-]

I know I probably come off really annoying in this but I really am just venting.

Vent away as much as you need. Nursing two living creatures back to good health is no simple task. Add that on top of everyday stressors and responsibilities, mix in some depression, anxiety, and suicidality, and that'll make anybody "bloody beyond stressed."

I hope your kittens recover soon. It sounds like you are a great parent to them.

^ Echoing this. How very lucky they are to have you caring for them.

 

[Asleepatlast]

How are your babies doing now? Hope healing up nicely. I thought it was so sweet reading you made them onesies.

 

[SmallKoy]

How are your babies doing now? Hope healing up nicely. I thought it was so sweet reading you made them onesies.

They seem mostly okay. Actually made the decision to follow the shelters advice (they do spay/neuter for every cat and rarely ever have issues with this particular vet) and leave them be and check their incisions regularly. My kittens actually don't seem to lick at their incisions deliberately, only if they are giving themselves a normal bath. They seem mostly unbothered otherwise. They are so hyper and its extremely difficult to get them to settle down. I also have no clue what the incisions are meant to look like as they are healing (I've never done this before) but I noticed one of them seems to have scabbed over which I think is a good sign. I'm still very paranoid but a bit less stressed than I was, finally going to work and all. I'm hoping they will be okay. So far they still constantly try to play like crazy which at least tell me they don't seem to notice anything is amiss, lol.
View attachment 1000011501.webp Here's some pictures of them

 

[Asleepatlast]

They seem mostly okay. Actually made the decision to follow the shelters advice (they do spay/neuter for every cat and rarely ever have issues with this particular vet) and leave them be and check their incisions regularly. My kittens actually don't seem to lick at their incisions deliberately, only if they are giving themselves a normal bath. They seem mostly unbothered otherwise. They are so hyper and its extremely difficult to get them to settle down. I also have no clue what the incisions are meant to look like as they are healing (I've never done this before) but I noticed one of them seems to have scabbed over which I think is a good sign. I'm still very paranoid but a bit less stressed than I was, finally going to work and all. I'm hoping they will be okay. So far they still constantly try to play like crazy which at least tell me they don't seem to notice anything is amiss, lol.
View attachment 153476View attachment 153477View attachment 153478Here's some pictures of them

They are too stinkin' adorable!

You are doing an excellent job. Scabbing, from my understanding, is a good sign like you mentioned. If you notice a lot of redness and swelling and pus and stinky odor those can be signs of infection. And I just wouldn't hesitate to call and ask if you see anything and aren't sure. Then you will have this down and will know what to look for. It's definitely a lot to learn they don't teach us and we just have to experience but I'm really impressed by the care you are showing them. And it was so heartwarming to read your post even though I know you are experiencing a lot of anxiety. I just wanted to encourage you and tell you that you are doing great.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

It's not annoying. It's always worth it to help animals so thank you, as they need it.