Blocking Sexual assault memories/trauma

[bloomingdark]

****Trigger warning******* sexual assault is mentioned here so if You're someone that may have passed through this or it is really sensitive especially with this topic please don't read for the sake of your mental health. Take care and stay safe

Hey guys, i wanted to ask you if you ever had a similar situation to this, for me I think about it every while and it really hits me the doubt of what happened.

I remember that since I was 8-9 i started feeling a really bad pelvic pain , and in all my genitals, it was weird for me , it caused me to be in pain every morning, i had memories of someone snicking in my room at night, but they were really blurry and confusing , i just remember this one dark image, of me in my bed and someone with me , whatever I never told anybody about it since I started therapy, i will never know if it is just false memory or it really happened and who was... Mind is really complex isn't?

Do you have any experience like this?
Have you ever unlock any memory about it?

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

Fortunately, no. I can't even imagine what it's like. I'm sorry you have to deal with this

 

[Ness]

I used to have these images in my mind of an adult doing things when I was very young and always thought I'd made them up, but I learned that they were real memories. I still don't like to think about it because of not only dealing with it but also dealing with the adult and those who knew about it but still allowed them in my childhood. If you can, I hope you find someone to talk about it.

 

[gus.nixon]

I had molestation issues from early on. Like ages 3 or 4. It wasn't until I was 31 that all the memories came back. It was quite a weird experience when those memories came back, both good and bad. It was such a relief to know that I wasn't crazy -- kind of like finding the missing piece of the puzzle. I'll get into as much detail as you are comfortable with in my story if you want to take this private. It's just one of those things that either you are a victim of it and understand it, or you're not.

 

[Nigh]

Yes, in my case my therapist said I'll probably never know what happened. But I believe that I was sexual assaulted, because that's what everything adds up to. I was also around the same age as you. I think we block these things out as a way to protect ourselves. My situation is a bit different, because I've had people comfirm everything else that happened on that day, which included a person locking me away with them, which I remember. For so long I wished I remembered everything, as I thought that it would be easier to deal with if I knew the whole truth. But I've learnt that the only way for me to deal with it is to accept that there are things I may not ever know...

Good luck on your journey and I really hope therapy helps, as I found it beneficial myself xx

 

[Vivacious_Vee]

****Trigger warning******* sexual assault is mentioned here so if You're someone that may have passed through this or it is really sensitive especially with this topic please don't read for the sake of your mental health. Take care and stay safe

Hey guys, i wanted to ask you if you ever had a similar situation to this, for me I think about it every while and it really hits me the doubt of what happened.

I remember that since I was 8-9 i started feeling a really bad pelvic pain , and in all my genitals, it was weird for me , it caused me to be in pain every morning, i had memories of someone snicking in my room at night, but they were really blurry and confusing , i just remember this one dark image, of me in my bed and someone with me , whatever I never told anybody about it since I started therapy, i will never know if it is just false memory or it really happened and who was... Mind is really complex isn't?

Do you have any experience like this?
Have you ever unlock any memory about it?

I'm so sorry, and no, I have not been through what you have, but my most recent I was under general anaesthetic, so I have no idea what happened just a damaged body.... Go to a group once a week now, have been twice and have to say, was very sceptical, but it does seem that it will work, in helping so many get their minds back. Have you thought of these groups, meaning group therapy?

I have unlocked memories of my dad throwing my mum across the room, holding scissors at her throat then .... Locking my in a wardrobe, and so on. It was if I was watching a tv, the memories seem to flip like a channel? If that makes sense.

 

[UKscotty]

I don't have this experience but I doubt you are imagining it or going crazy. It's probably just the mind trying to protect you.

It's also possible your abuser gave you something like alcohol or zopiclone to intentionally mess with your memory.

 

[LittleBlackCat]

I'm so sorry. Yes there are things from my childhood (approximately age 6) that I can't remember.. I can remember the start of something happening, that I knew was wrong.. also some things that seem like a dream.. and a general repulsion and fear of the particular person.

It's so difficult to talk about. About 10 years ago I thought I was remembering something, it was random I was just standing in the kitchen one day, but I panicked and stopped myself remembering. It hasn't happened since.

 

[delusionalgirl]

I'm so sorry :( for this longest time I blocked up until I was 13. There are other things throughout my life blocked. Sometimes something random would set off a flashback. Then more and more and more.

 

[Space Outlaw Bunny]

Not exactly the same thing, but after a few years I remembered that I was sexually assaulted when I was probably 8. For a while I hoped I had made it up, because before that I didn't have any flashbacks or anything, everything was as if it had never happened. I don't even know when I started to remember what, was causing it and whether I had put it together in parts in my mind. Probably due to the trauma caused by this and other events I have memory problems. The "act" itself is more like 2 or 3 blurry photographs and I associate moments before and after like in a badly edited movie. That doesn't change the fact that it still haunts me and I can't forget, no matter how I try. Probably every mind tries its best to block out negative memories to protect us.

 

[deomlez]

I think I was abused by my father but I can't remember so I doubt. I have logical facts but no memory about it. My self care protection (hard situation during the divorce, always been different and not fitting this world) was to be out of the world, always "elsewhere" so it s something understandable. I know why he did that, not a pedocriminal but ready to all to injure my mother (they were divorced since I was 5) through us, his children, fighting his 13 years old son, and more I can't say here, in English it s difficult, but you can imagine, but it s worse).
I have refused to go with him since I was 14. Then never had any contact except once he has tried to talk to my elder son aged 6, I have asked him never repeat this. He has insulted me. 5 years later he had a heart attack and was like a vegetable, lived like that more than 10 years then died. I know there were some videos of me naked as I was 8 and more but never found them since the people who managed him as he was enable of nothing has probably throwed all away.
So i will never know. It kills me (not quickly enough haha) not knowing and enable to accept me as or a victim or a survivor. My psy suggested me a few weeks ago to have a hypnotherapy session by a specialist (not her) to try to remember but i fear about false memory.
I m 52 now.
You are not alone. I trust you. Godspeed.