Blankly staring, thinking about suicide---Hi, how are you?---Good, you?

[Nolan96]

This interaction happens to me multiple times a day almost every day of the week.
Sometimes I'm not very convincing, and sound pretty depressed in my response even though I'm trying not to.

Other times I can't help but find some humor in the contrast between the fantasies of dying I was playing out in my head and the positive polite chit-chat that interrupted it, and that curls my lips into a passably convincing smile, which itself is kind of darkly ironic and keeps the energy up. But as anyone who has seen my contribution to discussions about humor with the user FC will know, I don't really like humor and I think it's generally totally inappropriate for suicide discussion or even suicidal thoughts. Like it invalidates all the suffering in the world. So unless my mind is really racing and can keep up a bit of a sickly manic tremulous upward track, this is usually followed by the mental equivalent of the roller coaster drop queezy stomach feeling. And when I'm back to staring off and wishing I were a smear of red in the base of a mortar being evened out by the methodic thumpings of a massive pestle, I feel even worse.

 

[Someone123]

This interaction happens to me multiple times a day almost every day of the week.
Sometimes I'm not very convincing, and sound pretty depressed in my response even though I'm trying not to.

Other times I can't help but find some humor in the contrast between the fantasies of dying I was playing out in my head and the positive polite chit-chat that interrupted it, and that curls my lips into a passably convincing smile, which itself is kind of darkly ironic and keeps the energy up. But as anyone who has seen my contribution to discussions about humor with the user FC will know, I don't really like humor and I think it's generally totally inappropriate for suicide discussion or even suicidal thoughts. Like it invalidates all the suffering in the world. So unless my mind is really racing and can keep up a bit of a sickly manic tremulous upward track, this is usually followed by the mental equivalent of the roller coaster drop queezy stomach feeling. And when I'm back to staring off and wishing I were a smear of red in the base of a mortar being evened out by the methodic thumpings of a massive pestle, I feel even worse.

So you do find some humor in this situation- you shouldn't feel bad about this, humor is a big part of how we process difficult things. Mark Twain has a famoujs quote that says "The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in heaven." Humor related to this subject does not need to be seen as always bad, as you have discovered with seeing the dark humor in this situation humor does sometimes help in processing all of this- without being disrespectful to how difficult this is.

 

[makethepainstop]

Sometimes I have to laugh, to keep from crying. Humour is an odd animal, some feel horror where others see the same thing as funny. Humour is like beauty, it's in the eye of the beholder. Like you I have a paste on smile, and my happiness program I run to look like it's all just peachy! Love and hugs to you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've never liked humour at all, and I don't think that it belongs in such a cruel world. It's always felt out of place to me. Often suicide related humour can be insensitive. I think that if suicide is seen as something to joke about it will just mean that suicidal people are not taken seriously and have their suffering invalidated.

There's nothing funny about suffering so much that you want to die. All of the pain in this world is very real. Suicide should be taken seriously as so many people suffer so much to get to the point of ctb and then they suffer a lot when they struggle to find ways to leave this world. It's unfair how ctb can be difficult.

 

[Mr2005]

I've never liked humour at all, and I don't think that it belongs in such a cruel world. It's always felt out of place to me. Often suicide related humour can be insensitive. I think that if suicide is seen as something to joke about it will just mean that suicidal people are not taken seriously and have their suffering invalidated.

There's nothing funny about suffering so much that you want to die. All of the pain in this world is very real. Suicide should be taken seriously as so many people suffer so much to get to the point of ctb and then they suffer a lot when they struggle to find ways to leave this world. It's unfair how ctb can be difficult.

Subject Vs target. Anything has the potential to be funny it depends who it's targeting. If it's myself then it's not hurting anybody