Blanket statements that apply to everyone but you

[Jon Arbuckle]

I hate seeing these fucking blanket anti-suicide statements, you know the ones. I know they're well meaning but none of them apply to me.

"suicide is never the answer!" it is for me.
"You're not alone!" It doesn't matter if I'm not alone I'm still a bad person who deserves to die
"You matter!" like I said, bad person. I do not matter because I am a bad person. If I kill myself I'll stop hurting people.

basically none of these statements work if you are a bad person, these statements always assume the person is good at heart. sometimes bad people kill themselves, and I doubt people would clamor to prevent it either.

 

[Trav1989]

There comes a point in your life where it doesn't even matter what others say, especially when they use blanket statements that are projected towards them via government agencies that they choose to parrot instead of actually caring and trying to understand the "why" of it all. When you've reached a certain age where your teenage years were half a lifetime ago and things have just gotten progressively worse it becomes nearly impossible to just believe that "things will get better" because if they could have they would have by then.

Insanity is repeating the same thing expecting a different result and as a person of sound mind I actually find it disrespectful when others make such statements towards me because they are insulting my intelligence whether they realize it or not.

I'm the furthest thing from a bad person and from what I've seen the wicked tend to outlive those who practice kindness above all else.

I've known many good and bad people and the bad certainly outweigh the good and in a world that rewards ignorance and greed being thoughtful and giving has no place.

 

[coolgal82]

holy shit same, i am a terrible person and it'd be objectively better for everyone else if i was gone (and like im even worse cus i can recognise this yet cant muster up the courage to actually do it, thus proving i care about myself more than others)

 

[Trav1989]

holy shit same, i am a terrible person and it'd be objectively better for everyone else if i was gone (and like im even worse cus i can recognise this yet cant muster up the courage to actually do it, thus proving i care about myself more than others)

It's easier to muster up the courage to CTB than you think it is, let people in and give them all your love and before you know it you'll be chewed up and spat out with nothing left but trauma and then life will feel worse than death could ever fathom being.

 

[Forever Sleep]

'Things will get better/ Things will work out in the end.' Really? What- magically? The only way they'll do that is if I put in enormous amounts of effort- on top of the enormous amount of effort I've already put in. Seeing as the previous amount of effort hasn't exactly paid off- why does that encourage me to keep on trying at the same level? It doesn't so- I won't. Which means things are in fact far more likely to stay the same or get worse.

I feel like 'Things will get better' actually translates to: 'I'm bored with hearing this person's problems. Maybe if I tell them there will be some magical solution, they'll fall for it and shut up about them.'

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

"Things will get better" - When? I've been waiting for years now.

 

[Reflection]

I hate when people start talking about their dumb "just world fallacies"...And you know it's never about you, its just so that they can comfort themselves to feel better, or at times even superior to you, and they will never understand until they've been put to the same wringer; If "life always gets better" and everybody "is loved" and "matters" then why are there people being gruesomely killed and tortured and children being raped every single day...? Or is that too just a "life lesson" for them to "build character", or a learning experience?

Some people will never admit that this world, while it can be beautiful for some, is nothing but constant hell for others.

 

[DoneWithThisLife]

It's easier to muster up the courage to CTB than you think it is, let people in and give them all your love and before you know it you'll be chewed up and spat out with nothing left but trauma and then life will feel worse than death could ever fathom being.

Ditto!

 

[ninfanatic]

"you matter!" this one is just laughable for me.
"it'll get better!" my life was demolished from infancy. no it fucking won't.

 

[plan c]

This is how I would neutrally react to these:

"Suicide is never the answer."

Yes, suicide may not be the very optimal version, but is so far the answer I could come up with.

Over the years of combatting the mental situation I've tried therapies and meds along with all kinds of stuff and that's becoming physically and financially overwhelming. It's simply pointless to spend the rest of my life doing an exhaustive search for a cure. I mean there might be a better version than ctb but I'm just too worn out to seek it. So I decide to just let myself be.

"You're not alone."

I'm barely socially functional due to many things, such as my schedule and mentality being a complete mess for many years. Even if I may come into contact with other ppl they're highly unlikely gonna do anything positively to me even they desire to: Those who aren't going through mental diversion will simply not relate to what I'm going through; whilst those who are going through or have survived any M.D.s are simply too powerless or disabled to care.



Plus, social life just won't run properly if I don't mask myself, let alone while I try to find a cure from others. And even if I manage to pose as normal for a while to meet ppl, the veil would finally fall due to how much cognitive resources it would require me. So overtime I in fact learnt the fact that I should and could only be socially dysfunctional, instead of just randomly and negatively assuming so.

"You matter!"

This is sth. I find myself to agree with sometimes, yet it seems to vague how I could actually matter. ppl matter in this way or the other and, to me, they matter bc they have various things to chase after, and they have different desires and dreams. That's what makes people matter in distinct ways.

As of me, I've been stuck in limbo long enough and now all my desires draw themselves to ending my pain, and I can't think of anything other than death that could do the work. It's not a competition but say, five years of bpd and anxiety, highly treatment resistant, various traumatic events, these are not anything one can just walk off or triviality find any solution to. I've bet all my chips on recovery yet it could only sustain a low QoL for me, like, no intention to insult, the unconscious terminal ills living off life sustaining machines. Do I "matter" in this way? no.

I matter in the way I pursue my dream to end my pain, and that naturally justifies my choice of taking my own life.

 

[FuneralCry]

Those statements are just hollow and meaningless to me, in my case ceasing to exist is the only answer I'd ever wish for, I only hope to never exist again.

 

[-Link-]

Platitudes have their place, but people speaking them need to judge the situation carefully so to avoid an invalidating effect.

If someone uses this approach with me but says something that doesn't apply, I just focus on the intent behind the words.

I only take offence to it if it's meant dismissively or if it's part of some anti-choice virtue signalling.

 

[ADBoy777]

For me it is "Time heals everything".
I'm just getting more and more sad and desperate to die and finish it all as the time pass

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

Exactly. 'it always gets better' but then after it always gets bad again. death is the only thing that is forever.