Black pill

[blackpillhopeless]

Hi, I have been considering suicide due to the black pill, the idea that as a man my ability to attract women is based mostly on genetic unchangeable factors such as my facial attractiveness, neurotypicality, ethnicity and height. I am facially average (noticeably above average compared to other Indians, but perhaps slightly below average compared to white men here in UK), on the autistic spectrum, Indian ethnically, and 5'9 tall.

For years I have been doing self improvement, improving my health and lifestyle, skin, fashion, building a good physique in the gym, improving my career prospects, and doing lots of social activities to improve my social skills. However in the last couple of years alone I have been rejected by hundreds of women. And at age 32 I have never had a girlfriend, sex or even a kiss outside of using escorts. I have had women interested in me, but not ones I was attracted to.

I feel like all my hard work has been for nothing and I have been having a lot of anger towards self help gurus on youtube as well as all the popular self help books that I read the last few years, I am feeling like they sell false hope to make money.

I haven't completely given up, I want to give it another couple of years. I still would like to finish my university course, move to a new city (I am in London which is especially bad from a dating perspective in my opinion) and get a good job, and improve my physique a bit more. However if that doesn't work in terms of me finding the partner I want, then I have decided to end my life. The only person that will really be affected is my mother, but my whole life has been one of intense suffering and I can't keep going on just to please her.

Anyway, sorry for the long rant, I was wondering if anybody else here relates to this black pill induced hopelessness I am feeling.

 

[KillingPain267]

The real blackpill is that all life is meaningless and that all kinds of things you personally may find trivial can cause a person to feel suicidal. There are people married with kids, beautiful people and rich people who commit suicide. So only you can decide if your blackpill hopelessness is enough reason to kill yourself. Nobody can answer it for you.

 

[blackpillhopeless]

The real blackpill is that all life is meaningless and that all kinds of things you personally may find trivial can cause a person to feel suicidal. There are people married with kids, beautiful people and rich people who commit suicide. So only you can decide if your blackpill hopelessness is enough reason to kill yourself. Nobody can answer it for you.

You are absolutely right. And the fact that everything is meaningless makes me feel less upset about my impending suicide.

However even what you are saying is true, ie beautiful people commit suicide; physical attractiveness, income etc all show a strong positive correlation with happiness. A concrete example is that every 2 inches of height reduces risk of suicide by 9%. So even if beautiful successful people commit suicide, they are at less at risk of suicide and depression than someone who is unattractive.

 

[KillingPain267]

You are absolutely right. And the fact that everything is meaningless makes me feel less upset about my impending suicide.

However even what you are saying is true, ie beautiful people commit suicide; physical attractiveness, income etc all show a strong positive correlation with happiness. A concrete example is that every 2 inches of height reduces risk of suicide by 9%. So even if beautiful successful people commit suicide, they are at less at risk of suicide and depression than someone who is unattractive.

Less risk doesn't mean no risk. Statistical significance doesn't measure how important the difference is. Also, statistical likelihood means nothing to those who fall outside of the curve. Their unhappiness and suicidality is still as real as anyone in the middle of the curve. Statistically, your height and attractiveness is average as you say, yet you are here feeling suicidal. So maybe you want us to tell you to snap out of it? But we won't do that here because we understand that every individual's pain is valid. It's not a game of comparing suffering.

 

[blackpillhopeless]

Less risk doesn't mean no risk. Statistical significance doesn't measure how important the difference is. Also, statistical likelihood means nothing to those who fall outside of the curve. Their unhappiness and suicidality is still as real as anyone in the middle of the curve. Statistically, your height and attractiveness is average as you say, yet you are here feeling suicidal. So maybe you want us to tell you to snap out of it? But we won't do that here because we understand that every individual's pain is valid. It's not a game of comparing suffering.

Yes I agree with what you are saying. I guess I have grown to become deeply resentful of those who are more attractive than me and have more access to sex and relationships than me, but you are right that if they suffer their suffering is just as real as mine.

 

[KillingPain267]

Yes I agree with what you are saying. I guess I have grown to become deeply resentful of those who are more attractive than me and have more access to sex and relationships than me, but you are right that if they suffer their suffering is just as real as mine.

On the opposite end, there are those who lack the same things as you, but don't care. They are happy alone. Maybe you could try to learn from them. I'm sure though, that if you try to meet women, eventually you will find one. By random chance if anything. The question is if it will "heal" you from being suicidal and resent others.

I guess, you basically have 3 choices now:

1. Put in even more effort to meet women, accept that there will be lots more rejection and possible pain during this process but eventually you will succeed, if nothing else then at least you will have tried HARD
2. Give that up, but focus on life without relationships, learn from others (I don't know who to recommend)
3. Give up life entirely

I suggest you at least try number 1 first, then 2. It's possible (and even statistically quite likely) that you will stay at choice number 1 and succeed, although be prepared that it may not fully fulfill you, and also that you will succeed first and then crash hard (divorce, marriage problems, cheating). If all fails you can still try number 2. If number 2 turns out to be impossible after trying, you will always have number 3. But by that time you may already naturally die anyway. So at least you will have tried. Don't make any rash decision. You could very well succeed at number 1, you are still young is my point.

 

[ConstantPain]

As someone who is married and can have sex whenever I want, but choose not to, having these "benefits" does not help. I'm miserable and want to ctb and think that living by myself is what would help. The husband has become an angry, emotionally abusive alcoholic. His presence feels toxic to me, literally making it harder to breathe and raising my blood pressure. I despise sex and it would be a huge relief if I knew I was never going to have to have it again. I can't afford to move out, or I would. Or, I think I would but I might be too depressed to put the effort in. My only point is that I wouldn't assume that being in a relationship will make you feel any better. I hate him, I detest sex, and think he'll ultimately give me the motivation to end it all.

 

[blacksand]

Yes I'm a re virgin who had a gf at 17 for several months and a sexual drought before and after that has lasted 12 years as of this month. I am currently in a state of total capitulation where I would wife a single mom for the experience of joining society as a father and being respected.