My birthday's coming up and I just started to receive cards from extended family. I fucking hate my birthday and I'm pissed that my immediate family can't just respect my wishes and let people know not to send me anything via snail mail or text. Not everyone in this world enjoys celebrating their birthday and people should really be more open minded to this. If I say I don't want anything, I fucking mean it. Sorry about the language but I'm spiraling into a hole again.
I definitely understand this struggle. My birthday is coming up as well and am having somewhat similar issues.
I've hated celebrating my birthday for much of my life, since I see it as a reminder of the worst day of my life when I was brought into existence. In my experience, everyone thought I was strange for asking people to not mention my birthday at all, so now I've stopped telling people or just sucked it up and dealt with the one day of annoyance because I don't want to cause a scene. It's also frustrating when they have the mentality of thinking I actually want something when I say I don't, like it's really not that deep. I don't see what the big deal is with respecting people's wishes if they say they don't want to celebrate their birthday, and if it's literally "our day" can't we request whatever we want? Including a lack of acknowledgement?
Right? It's supposedly OUR day but it's really not. I'm thinking that Inshouod just really end it all because I'm clearly not heard or understood. I have the resources to do it, I'm just worried about my dog and Guinea pigs and just feeling incredibly sick if I do go through with it. This is what the damn birthday card in the mailbox does to me. :(
Source Energy
I want to be where people areN'T...
- Jan 23, 2023
- 705
I don't tell people when my birthday is. As for my mom, I asked her to stop saying the traditional in our native language "Many more years" because many more years in this life is wishing me what I do NOT want. If she has to say anything, then the English "happy birthday" is more acceptable. Well, it is not "happy", but I understand she uses it to acknowledge this day. I wish I had died at birth.
Shivali
Mage
- Jun 9, 2022
- 560
dw33ter
meow meow
- Jan 23, 2023
- 36
100% feel you. For almost all my birthdays since my 18th, I spent the entire day on the verge of crying, then going back to my room to cry alone. Was strong-armed into celebrating my 21st where I was given jewellery (which fucked with my gender dysphoria) and I almost cried in front of everyone that day. My parents also say stuff like "it's just a small celebration with immediate family" and "it's just as much our day as well since you wouldn't be here without us" and it just destroys me since I can't say anything in return.
I find it somewhat of a blessing that I practically lost contact with most of my friends in the last few years (depression, amirite) + rarely check messages not from family so I don't see too many birthday wishes. All I just want is to be left alone, but I feel like I'm made out to be unreasonable if I make that known.
Sorry for the rant, your post just really resonated with me. Like ngl, not having to deal with birthdays if I ctb is a very big push factor for me...
I find it somewhat of a blessing that I practically lost contact with most of my friends in the last few years (depression, amirite) + rarely check messages not from family so I don't see too many birthday wishes. All I just want is to be left alone, but I feel like I'm made out to be unreasonable if I make that known.
Sorry for the rant, your post just really resonated with me. Like ngl, not having to deal with birthdays if I ctb is a very big push factor for me...
