Venting Bipolar & people giving up on you

[rubella]

I tried to talk to someone I thought was my closest friend they never responded. I wanted to talk to him so badly I even debased myself by offering money for him to talk to me which was pathetic but still no response I burden him too much. I think he's really happy now in his life and hes discarded me and I understand why I understand I'm not worth all this trouble. I'm not a good person for asking to talk it was selfish I shouldn't have done it it's cruel of me to constantly dump my emotions on people. but it still hurts because of words of love and care that was given in the past of how he'd always be there for me, to never give up on my art that I was talented etc. I know I'm too much for people I talk too much about the things in the past that have happened to me I shouldn't have mentioned bipolar to him or my rape, my constant paranoia & suicidal thoughts surrounding the rape they are disgusted by me.

I know everyone has given up on me since being diagnosed with bipolar they see me as a weak stupid girl whos desperate for attention, lies and makes a fool of herself with episodes. I know whilst I'm alive Im dragging people down with my sickness and the guilt of it everyday is unbearable I keep trying to isolate myself from them all but I always end up doing extreme things that feel so out of my control I hate it it's embarrassing and pathetic. if anyone has bipolar II I'd like to know if there's any advice I guess any hope getting better, Ive never talked to anyone else with it. if not my only comfort at the moment is developing my plan

 

[legend]

Hello, I'm also bipolar. We bipolars suffer a lot from suicidal ideation.

Feel free to talk to me if you need to relieve your pain.

 

[deadinside777]

I'm also bipolar. I just basically keep everything to myself because I know it's a burden

 

[twatingthroughlife]

I'm bipolar too. It's hard because nobody takes it seriously but at the same time, it burdens everyone. My family makes fun of me but at the same time, at the minute I, for example, feel slightly angry at them, it's my illness. Then it is a problem. And on top of that, I'm expected to not talk about it. I feel like I burden everyone, even my friends. I just learnt to live with it.

Also, in case you're not medicated, try it. It worked for me for a long time. I think I have to switch meds now, though.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I tried to talk to someone I thought was my closest friend they never responded. I wanted to talk to him so badly I even debased myself by offering money for him to talk to me which was pathetic but still no response I burden him too much. I think he's really happy now in his life and hes discarded me and I understand why I understand I'm not worth all this trouble. I'm not a good person for asking to talk it was selfish I shouldn't have done it it's cruel of me to constantly dump my emotions on people. but it still hurts because of words of love and care that was given in the past of how he'd always be there for me, to never give up on my art that I was talented etc. I know I'm too much for people I talk too much about the things in the past that have happened to me I shouldn't have mentioned bipolar to him or my rape, my constant paranoia & suicidal thoughts surrounding the rape they are disgusted by me.

I know everyone has given up on me since being diagnosed with bipolar they see me as a weak stupid girl whos desperate for attention, lies and makes a fool of herself with episodes. I know whilst I'm alive Im dragging people down with my sickness and the guilt of it everyday is unbearable I keep trying to isolate myself from them all but I always end up doing extreme things that feel so out of my control I hate it it's embarrassing and pathetic. if anyone has bipolar II I'd like to know if there's any advice I guess any hope getting better, Ive never talked to anyone else with it. if not my only comfort at the moment is developing my plan

It is definitely not endemic to being bipolar for people to give up/abandon you... I know because I am not bipolar, nor on drugs, drinking, whatever.... . As soon as people start to become even mildly inconvenienced they will drop you like a lead turd.... People are unbelievably selfish. It isn't you. It's the world. People suck. Also for the record. Be with someone who wants to be with you for you. You shouldn't need to offer them money. Though I do know what that is like.

 

[tfnb]

I'm bipolar 2, also. I struggled for a long time before I learned there are two types, lamotragine has been a godsend in keeping away the whispers and visual hallucinations for the most part. If I don't stick with my routine I definitely get the paranoia, and the lamotragine doesn't do anything for me beyond that, although my wife says I no longer get the "zombie face" whatever that means. I've always had a shallow affect so I guess it helps a little in that regard.

I don't know who your friends are, but I work very productively in trades making a decent income, and sm generally pretty drama free, aside from the obvious driver that brought me here, though I don't tell about my dark mistress with regular people.