Help bf said he will leave me if i dont get better

[CosmicPaperCut]

i was planning to ctb in one week. today my bf had a serious conversation with me, saying that hes constantly worried about my self harm and he's afraid im gonna end up killing myself because of it. he said its too much for him & that if i don't stop he can't be with me anymore. I fully understand why he feels like that, its not fair to him. i am desperate to ctb but if i fail he will definitely break up with me. idk what to do, do i go all in in recovery or do i make sure i actually die this time. i don't want to be here, i just want to be asleep forever but if i attempt the stakes are too high. if i fail ill be even more miserable because the man i love will give up on me.

 

[Nobody Special]

Someone will lend you their love, but it is not permanent. This relationship will surely never be healthy now. You must choose one and only one path. You cannot chose two.

 

[socrates]

As someone who has been on this site since 2019 and has planned on killing myself multiple times. I recommend going into recovery if you can. Your chance of CTBing is slim. If there is anything worth living for it's love. Everything else pales in comparison.

 

[Dot]

i was planning to ctb in one week. today my bf had a serious conversation with me, saying that hes constantly worried about my self harm and he's afraid im gonna end up killing myself because of it. he said its too much for him & that if i don't stop he can't be with me anymore. I fully understand why he feels like that, its not fair to him. i am desperate to ctb but if i fail he will definitely break up with me. idk what to do, do i go all in in recovery or do i make sure i actually die this time. i don't want to be here, i just want to be asleep forever but if i attempt the stakes are too high. if i fail ill be even more miserable because the man i love will give up on me.

Tbh CTB wll alwys b thre

U cn try recvry & ctb aftrwrds if tht ds nt wrk

U cnnt try th/ othr wy arnd - s/ tht = wrth cnsidrng

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I can't tell you what to do in your situation, only you can do what's right for you. It sounds like you have a boyfriend that cares about you though

If you fail, he will break up with you. If you succeed, he will have a girlfriend that CTB'd. If it were me, if I were planning on staying with him, which it sounds like you want to, I would give it my best shot at recovery.


Otherwise, if you truly plan to CTB, I don't know if it's entirely fair to also want him to stay with you and then end up losing you regardless

 

[Erring]

i was planning to ctb in one week. today my bf had a serious conversation with me, saying that hes constantly worried about my self harm and he's afraid im gonna end up killing myself because of it. he said its too much for him & that if i don't stop he can't be with me anymore. I fully understand why he feels like that, its not fair to him. i am desperate to ctb but if i fail he will definitely break up with me. idk what to do, do i go all in in recovery or do i make sure i actually die this time. i don't want to be here, i just want to be asleep forever but if i attempt the stakes are too high. if i fail ill be even more miserable because the man i love will give up on me.

Well, it's time to sit and think of the current pros and cons of CTB. Your bf doesn't sound like a bad fellow. Trying to care for someone is very draining, and the situation is not fair for any of you. Like I say, CTB is like putting too much salt on your plate, you can't unsalt it back. I dont know where you live, but in my country there's many mechanisms you can appeal to (suicide related emergency calls, to talk, vent, etc.; you can go to a hospital and see an emergency psychiatrist; public psychiatrist and psicologist). There's support groups you can draw upon... If you're equally scared of losing him and of CTB, it seems that you shouldn't miss your chance with hit, but that's an outsider perspective with many biases going on. No matter what your decision is, good luck <3

 

[BoneWeary57]

It sounds like what you are really wanting is relief from the pain/anguish you are in AND that you do want to stay with/care about your bf.

Your bf sounds like he cares are great deal about you, wants to help but has reached the point that he isn't able to help you to the extent you are needing it and is concerned for and scared for you.

CTB effects more than just the person who commits suicide..there is a whole ripple effect from death under most circumstances and even more so when the death is traumatic in nature. If you chose to ctb your bf is also forever changed.

I hope you will try for recovery. Your relationship is NOT over because you are needing help at a higher level that your bf is capable of. It's also not his responsibility. You may just find that during/after recovery your relationship is stronger both w/yourself and your bf.