Beware of thin ropes

[Powderedmonster]

I had a nice 3/4 inch wide white nylon rope that I stowed away in my drawer for obvious reasons. I test hanged myself full suspension a couple of months ago with that rope by tying it to my outdoor shower and then putting it on me and lifting my feet up. I maybe lasted 2 seconds. While the experience was indeed painful, it was bearable, and it gave me confidence that I could hang myself full suspension if I wanted to later on. When I was in despair the other night again and my parents weren't home the only thing I could think of was to test hang myself full suspension again because the last time I did that it made me so calm to know that I could kill myself if wanted to. Unfortunately a few weeks ago my parents took my rope from me (don't know how they found it), so I had to go into the crawlspace and grab a shitty thin climbing rope to hang myself from. And fuck, I couldn't even lift my feet off the ground with that thin thing digging it to my neck, it hurt like hell. I wasn't able to do it. Beware of thin ropes guys if you're doing hanging. Thick ropes are much better