imstillhungry
Student
- Nov 19, 2019
- 109
I feel so fucking sick right now.
I had an extremely abusive family. I never received any love as a child or throughout my whole life. I always found it very difficult to get close to people, whether it was friendships or relationships. I ended an abusive relationship recently with a man who I thought I was going to marry. I've been completely heartbroken since.
The only person I trust in life is the woman who was my nanny when I was a child. I've always trusted and respected her 100% and told her everything that was going on in my life, including the break up and my suicide attempt 3 weeks ago.
My ex is a manipulative psychopath who knows I'd do anything for him. He told me he was going to spend his birthday alone so asked me to spend the weekend with him. I agreed and wanted to book us a trip abroad to celebrate his birthday (I know, I'm a fucking joke). He told me to go ahead and book it. Since then he's been changing his mind about going on the trip at least 10 times a day. When I told him I was sick of being treated like shit and taken for granted, he said 'bye then' and hasn't spoken to me since (just under a week ago).
I've been visiting my previous nanny regularly, telling her everything that's been happening with my ex and how shit I'm feeling.
Today she gave me her phone and asked me to call someone for her (unrelated), and I was absolutely shocked to see that she'd been calling my ex regularly behind my back. This started after the break up when he called her pretending to be worried about me (he's a narcissistic psychopath so it's just manipulation, he knew I'd tell her everything he did and he couldn't let his reputation suffer), and she's been talking to him behind my back since.
I feel so fucking stupid. All this time I've been opening up to her, she's been telling me he's a psycho and calling him every name under the sun, she's been telling me to cut him off, yet she's talking to him regularly?! I feel so sick. How dare she go behind my back and betray my trust like this, let alone hide it from me. It's not like they were ever close either, she only met him once briefly so it makes even less sense.
I left her house immediately when I found out, otherwise I was gonna lose my shit. I can't stand being lied to or people hiding shit from me, especially something like this.
I called my ex and asked him about it. He told me he'd only talk to me in front of her. What the actual FUCK? I said he was my ex, not hers, and it's me he should talk to. He said he'd call me when he finishes work, but I know he won't.
I went back to my previous nanny's house and confronted her about it, as calm as I could manage. She denied ever talking to him, and told me to check her phone. Sure enough, she had deleted everything. Crazy old bitch.
She told me the only time she talked to him was today when he called her after he got off the phone with me, to tell her I'd called him.
I'm shocked he even called her straight after to inform her... If she wasnt in her 80s I'd be convinced they were fucking.
I don't even know what to make of this. What a pair of fucking cunts. I feel so betrayed and disgusted. This is why I never open up to people in the first place.
I hope my sn arrives soon. I've suffered enough. Just when I think life can't get worse... wow
I had an extremely abusive family. I never received any love as a child or throughout my whole life. I always found it very difficult to get close to people, whether it was friendships or relationships. I ended an abusive relationship recently with a man who I thought I was going to marry. I've been completely heartbroken since.
The only person I trust in life is the woman who was my nanny when I was a child. I've always trusted and respected her 100% and told her everything that was going on in my life, including the break up and my suicide attempt 3 weeks ago.
My ex is a manipulative psychopath who knows I'd do anything for him. He told me he was going to spend his birthday alone so asked me to spend the weekend with him. I agreed and wanted to book us a trip abroad to celebrate his birthday (I know, I'm a fucking joke). He told me to go ahead and book it. Since then he's been changing his mind about going on the trip at least 10 times a day. When I told him I was sick of being treated like shit and taken for granted, he said 'bye then' and hasn't spoken to me since (just under a week ago).
I've been visiting my previous nanny regularly, telling her everything that's been happening with my ex and how shit I'm feeling.
Today she gave me her phone and asked me to call someone for her (unrelated), and I was absolutely shocked to see that she'd been calling my ex regularly behind my back. This started after the break up when he called her pretending to be worried about me (he's a narcissistic psychopath so it's just manipulation, he knew I'd tell her everything he did and he couldn't let his reputation suffer), and she's been talking to him behind my back since.
I feel so fucking stupid. All this time I've been opening up to her, she's been telling me he's a psycho and calling him every name under the sun, she's been telling me to cut him off, yet she's talking to him regularly?! I feel so sick. How dare she go behind my back and betray my trust like this, let alone hide it from me. It's not like they were ever close either, she only met him once briefly so it makes even less sense.
I left her house immediately when I found out, otherwise I was gonna lose my shit. I can't stand being lied to or people hiding shit from me, especially something like this.
I called my ex and asked him about it. He told me he'd only talk to me in front of her. What the actual FUCK? I said he was my ex, not hers, and it's me he should talk to. He said he'd call me when he finishes work, but I know he won't.
I went back to my previous nanny's house and confronted her about it, as calm as I could manage. She denied ever talking to him, and told me to check her phone. Sure enough, she had deleted everything. Crazy old bitch.
She told me the only time she talked to him was today when he called her after he got off the phone with me, to tell her I'd called him.
I'm shocked he even called her straight after to inform her... If she wasnt in her 80s I'd be convinced they were fucking.
I don't even know what to make of this. What a pair of fucking cunts. I feel so betrayed and disgusted. This is why I never open up to people in the first place.
I hope my sn arrives soon. I've suffered enough. Just when I think life can't get worse... wow
