I am so thankful that this site existed. It's been my guilty pleasure and haven for a minute now, and I've learnt a lot from it.
I just don't know where I stand anymore on ctb. I think I know one thing though: I'll never have company. I'll always be alone. I'll always be responsible for how I act in this world. I am not all-powerful or smart (matter of fact i'm dumb as bricks and mediocre as fuck) but I know there's this damn annoying phantom that hovers over me that tells me this. Whatever good or bad I do in this world, it's on me. Whatever chances I miss, whatever thinks I'm not thankful for, whoever I make feel like shit and whatever I fail to fulfill despite a promise is on me. All on me. Fuck my life but it's true because I still have an able body and my mind works relatively well enough to not use it as an excuse.
My game plan right now is to drink and read books and be miserable until I either give up or wake up one day an old old man and that'll be fine by me so long as I don't fuck up someone's life other than my own. (Basically, I'm a pseudo-intellectual chicken shit who wants to die but can't commit anymore.)
It really has been a pleasure guys. It's messed up to say but it's comforting as hell to know people are willing to make a forum like this and talk about stuff like this.
It sickens me to know a lot of you have sufferred stuff that that is worse than horror fiction and still have to be conscious about it. I literally have no words. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and hope you find peace.
It gladdens me that you're willing to talk about it. If anything, at least words were shared. At least that.
Goodbye.
I just don't know where I stand anymore on ctb. I think I know one thing though: I'll never have company. I'll always be alone. I'll always be responsible for how I act in this world. I am not all-powerful or smart (matter of fact i'm dumb as bricks and mediocre as fuck) but I know there's this damn annoying phantom that hovers over me that tells me this. Whatever good or bad I do in this world, it's on me. Whatever chances I miss, whatever thinks I'm not thankful for, whoever I make feel like shit and whatever I fail to fulfill despite a promise is on me. All on me. Fuck my life but it's true because I still have an able body and my mind works relatively well enough to not use it as an excuse.
My game plan right now is to drink and read books and be miserable until I either give up or wake up one day an old old man and that'll be fine by me so long as I don't fuck up someone's life other than my own. (Basically, I'm a pseudo-intellectual chicken shit who wants to die but can't commit anymore.)
It really has been a pleasure guys. It's messed up to say but it's comforting as hell to know people are willing to make a forum like this and talk about stuff like this.
It sickens me to know a lot of you have sufferred stuff that that is worse than horror fiction and still have to be conscious about it. I literally have no words. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and hope you find peace.
It gladdens me that you're willing to talk about it. If anything, at least words were shared. At least that.
Goodbye.
