Mx_Pathetic
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- May 8, 2023
- 101
(Repost because of the data loss)
This happened in 3/8/23 on Sunday
It started with me stressing because I didn't have money for a plan that was happening the next day, because my gaming subscription had been paid. So I was trying to cancel it but couldn't figure out how. Then I remembered I had bought something a few days ago, the money had gone through but on the website I bought it from it said I hadn't made any purchases. So obviously I started to freak out, as all this was happening I sat on my glasses and bloody broke them
YAY Anyways I was trying to figure out everything by myself since I'm "a grown up" now. However my mum could see I was struggling and offered to help. I let her know I was trying to do it in my own. After a few times of her asking I caved because I was stressed and annoyed, I could tell I was about to have a panic attack. My mum was getting angry/ annoyed by the fact that I was freaking out and told me to fuck off, so I went to my room. Then she yelled from the computer that she had fixed everything and sorted everything out. At the time I was crying from anxiety and rolled in my blanket however my mum mumbled a ton of shit under her breath but enough for me to hear her because I hadn't responded because I didn't respond because I was crying and had frozen. Anyhow my anxiety/ panic attack had turned into a massive break down and I started bawling my eyes out. My mother got frustrated and went to bed. After 25 mins of my crying pretty loudly, my mother came in to tell me to either shut up or cry it all out and then left. I continued to cry as I obviously needed it. Anyways because I was crying loudly still she came in a 2nd time and yelled at me. So I went outside and locked myself in the garage back room so she didn't have to hear me crying. After about 10 mins she came in. Now I have a bad history of sh so she was checking to see if I was okay, which I was. Anyways she attempted to talk to me about what happened while I was still crying (I still needed space/ wasn't ready to talk) Everything went bad again and I walked out of the room as I slammed the door my dog had followed and I accidentally slammed the door on my dog. My mum flipped out and said "how fucking dare you" as if I had seen the dog there- (the dog was okay, she wasn't injured at all, maybe just a little squashed lol) then she came out yelling her head off at me, so I told her that she was making me feel worse and that I wanted her to leave. When she was yelling she had said I was "a baby for crying" so I pointed out that she literally told me to "cry it all out because I might of needed it" like- anyways I went back in the garage backroom and locked the door. The dog was with and my mum "didn't trust me" with the dog- because I had accidentally slammed the door on Hope. I told her I wasn't opening the door, so she punched and kicked the door off and then took the dog. I had, had enough and messaged my friend to pick me up because I didn't feel safe. This was at 12ish at night. Thankfully they did. Now it's almost 4 in the morning and all I can think about is, was it my fault? Should I have just opened the door?..but at the same time my mum could of reacted differently from the start when I was first stressing about the money, etc. She could of told me to sit down and drink someone cold water and calm down, yknow reasure me that everything would be okay. But no instead she got mad at me. Am I wrong for wishing she reacted differently? I more see it as I was she reacted the way I would of if the rolls were switched. What do you think? I'm kinda stuck. Also here is the door. After all that crying my eyes are now swollen and I'm so shaken up from all the yelling and banging. I can't sleep now because of how recent it was yknow...
i forgot to mention not even a week ago I had a fight with my dad and he threw a glass at my feet (not the first time my dad has thrown na object at me)
UPDATE: I still haven't spoken to my mum about this situation. At the start it was because I wasn't ready. Then things just got in the way. Is it to late to talk about it?
This happened in 3/8/23 on Sunday
It started with me stressing because I didn't have money for a plan that was happening the next day, because my gaming subscription had been paid. So I was trying to cancel it but couldn't figure out how. Then I remembered I had bought something a few days ago, the money had gone through but on the website I bought it from it said I hadn't made any purchases. So obviously I started to freak out, as all this was happening I sat on my glasses and bloody broke them
YAY Anyways I was trying to figure out everything by myself since I'm "a grown up" now. However my mum could see I was struggling and offered to help. I let her know I was trying to do it in my own. After a few times of her asking I caved because I was stressed and annoyed, I could tell I was about to have a panic attack. My mum was getting angry/ annoyed by the fact that I was freaking out and told me to fuck off, so I went to my room. Then she yelled from the computer that she had fixed everything and sorted everything out. At the time I was crying from anxiety and rolled in my blanket however my mum mumbled a ton of shit under her breath but enough for me to hear her because I hadn't responded because I didn't respond because I was crying and had frozen. Anyhow my anxiety/ panic attack had turned into a massive break down and I started bawling my eyes out. My mother got frustrated and went to bed. After 25 mins of my crying pretty loudly, my mother came in to tell me to either shut up or cry it all out and then left. I continued to cry as I obviously needed it. Anyways because I was crying loudly still she came in a 2nd time and yelled at me. So I went outside and locked myself in the garage back room so she didn't have to hear me crying. After about 10 mins she came in. Now I have a bad history of sh so she was checking to see if I was okay, which I was. Anyways she attempted to talk to me about what happened while I was still crying (I still needed space/ wasn't ready to talk) Everything went bad again and I walked out of the room as I slammed the door my dog had followed and I accidentally slammed the door on my dog. My mum flipped out and said "how fucking dare you" as if I had seen the dog there- (the dog was okay, she wasn't injured at all, maybe just a little squashed lol) then she came out yelling her head off at me, so I told her that she was making me feel worse and that I wanted her to leave. When she was yelling she had said I was "a baby for crying" so I pointed out that she literally told me to "cry it all out because I might of needed it" like- anyways I went back in the garage backroom and locked the door. The dog was with and my mum "didn't trust me" with the dog- because I had accidentally slammed the door on Hope. I told her I wasn't opening the door, so she punched and kicked the door off and then took the dog. I had, had enough and messaged my friend to pick me up because I didn't feel safe. This was at 12ish at night. Thankfully they did. Now it's almost 4 in the morning and all I can think about is, was it my fault? Should I have just opened the door?..but at the same time my mum could of reacted differently from the start when I was first stressing about the money, etc. She could of told me to sit down and drink someone cold water and calm down, yknow reasure me that everything would be okay. But no instead she got mad at me. Am I wrong for wishing she reacted differently? I more see it as I was she reacted the way I would of if the rolls were switched. What do you think? I'm kinda stuck. Also here is the door. After all that crying my eyes are now swollen and I'm so shaken up from all the yelling and banging. I can't sleep now because of how recent it was yknow...i forgot to mention not even a week ago I had a fight with my dad and he threw a glass at my feet (not the first time my dad has thrown na object at me)
UPDATE: I still haven't spoken to my mum about this situation. At the start it was because I wasn't ready. Then things just got in the way. Is it to late to talk about it?
