E
eternapeace
Member
- Sep 10, 2022
- 50
I'm newly registered but I've been browsing this site (looking at available methods and also reading through some of the normal discussion threads) for the past 3 weeks or so after a certain event caused me to seriously consider ctb. I'm still thinking about the best method to ctb as well as trying to come up with a checklist of things I need to do before ctb.
Like most people here, I'm interested in a method that is relatively painless, has low chance of failure and low risk of being found, and doesn't cause (too much) disfiguration or otherwise traumatize other people.
Originally, I was most interested in N2/inert gas method, but have some doubts that I will be able to pull it off the way I want as I don't have any base experience regarding the equipment. I currently live with my parents/not alone and I fear accidental canister explosion while in storage. I'm also unsure how to test trial this method, and I also want to be out of the house when testing just in case because I don't want to accidentally kill my parents. I live in California (if that matters) and wondering if it's legal to obtain N2 and is it better to order gas and equipment online or to go to a welding store? My original plan was to drive off somewhere late night when all my loved ones should be sleeping. Text them before the deed (maybe schedule a delayed text if I can figure out how) warning them that I attempted to ctb with inert gas and to stay away from the car and let professionals handle it. And then attempt ctb in my car.
I'm also seeing that SN and N are popular methods and am willing to give either of those a shot. It seems that the main downside is that ingredients are difficult to obtain at the moment. Any recommendation between SN, N, and N2? Again, I live in California and currently do not live alone. I'm guessing there's no way to test trial SN or N.
Hanging is my 4th preferred option if the previous 3 aren't a good idea/not available for whatever reason. Hanging seems more SI-inducing and when I look at hanging threads it seems there's not really a consensus on a position that works. I also don't have a great place to hang at home nor would I want to do that to my parents. Would probably need to book a hotel room (not even sure if hotel rooms would have a great place to hang) or just drive off somewhere far away/remote and find a nice tree to hang from.
Death by firearm seems great from a lethality perspective but it seems harder to obtain a firearm in California and I don't have experience operating firearms. And well, the disfiguration/mess...
I could also use some advice on a checklist of things to do before I ctb. My estate is pretty simple thankfully. This is what I've thought of so far (feel free to add to the list if there's something you think I should do that I haven't thought of). Sorry in advance for any questions that seem stupid.
1. Will - I don't think I have to leave a will. My understanding is that my money will be distributed evenly among my immediate family members if I don't write a will. And that's fine by me as I have a good relationship with everyone in my immediate family.
2. Suicide note(s) (detailing why I ctb/telling people I love them, etc.) - My immediate family will already know why I ctb (it's been an ongoing problem for over a decade). But I may write some notes for a few people outside of my immediate family. Do I need to leave a note for police so they know it's a suicide? Should the note be handwritten or typed? Where should I leave the note? At the suicide scene or at home?
3. Passwords/Accounts - Should I deactivate bank account/email/other important stuff? Or should I just give my passwords to a loved one? How can I securely give my passwords to a loved one without alerting them that I will immediately ctb?
4. Browsing History/Delete data - Will delete browser history. Probably delete everything on my computer and junk my computer before ctb. If anyone has technical knowledge on best way to thoroughly delete everything I would appreciate the advice.
Like most people here, I'm interested in a method that is relatively painless, has low chance of failure and low risk of being found, and doesn't cause (too much) disfiguration or otherwise traumatize other people.
Originally, I was most interested in N2/inert gas method, but have some doubts that I will be able to pull it off the way I want as I don't have any base experience regarding the equipment. I currently live with my parents/not alone and I fear accidental canister explosion while in storage. I'm also unsure how to test trial this method, and I also want to be out of the house when testing just in case because I don't want to accidentally kill my parents. I live in California (if that matters) and wondering if it's legal to obtain N2 and is it better to order gas and equipment online or to go to a welding store? My original plan was to drive off somewhere late night when all my loved ones should be sleeping. Text them before the deed (maybe schedule a delayed text if I can figure out how) warning them that I attempted to ctb with inert gas and to stay away from the car and let professionals handle it. And then attempt ctb in my car.
I'm also seeing that SN and N are popular methods and am willing to give either of those a shot. It seems that the main downside is that ingredients are difficult to obtain at the moment. Any recommendation between SN, N, and N2? Again, I live in California and currently do not live alone. I'm guessing there's no way to test trial SN or N.
Hanging is my 4th preferred option if the previous 3 aren't a good idea/not available for whatever reason. Hanging seems more SI-inducing and when I look at hanging threads it seems there's not really a consensus on a position that works. I also don't have a great place to hang at home nor would I want to do that to my parents. Would probably need to book a hotel room (not even sure if hotel rooms would have a great place to hang) or just drive off somewhere far away/remote and find a nice tree to hang from.
Death by firearm seems great from a lethality perspective but it seems harder to obtain a firearm in California and I don't have experience operating firearms. And well, the disfiguration/mess...
I could also use some advice on a checklist of things to do before I ctb. My estate is pretty simple thankfully. This is what I've thought of so far (feel free to add to the list if there's something you think I should do that I haven't thought of). Sorry in advance for any questions that seem stupid.
1. Will - I don't think I have to leave a will. My understanding is that my money will be distributed evenly among my immediate family members if I don't write a will. And that's fine by me as I have a good relationship with everyone in my immediate family.
2. Suicide note(s) (detailing why I ctb/telling people I love them, etc.) - My immediate family will already know why I ctb (it's been an ongoing problem for over a decade). But I may write some notes for a few people outside of my immediate family. Do I need to leave a note for police so they know it's a suicide? Should the note be handwritten or typed? Where should I leave the note? At the suicide scene or at home?
3. Passwords/Accounts - Should I deactivate bank account/email/other important stuff? Or should I just give my passwords to a loved one? How can I securely give my passwords to a loved one without alerting them that I will immediately ctb?
4. Browsing History/Delete data - Will delete browser history. Probably delete everything on my computer and junk my computer before ctb. If anyone has technical knowledge on best way to thoroughly delete everything I would appreciate the advice.