Hello,
I hope I am OK to post this.
I want to be specifically clear - I completely agree with the right to die in whichever method you choose.
In 2019, my best friend (who I had no idea was considering CTB), took their life in a hotel room. Apparently there had been multiple attempts, such as jumping, etc. which I had no idea of. My other friends did, but it was his choice not to tell me, and I really respect my friends for not telling me as it was his private choice. In my opinion, it's a level of bravery I could never reach.
I am trying to understand the method he used. Apparently he ordered something online to here in the UK. When the police searched his home, they found a second "vial" of something. The biopsy came back inconclusive, however one of our close friends mentioned saltpeter? This is the bit of information I'm missing that may be give me closure.
From reading this forum, I believe he may have been a member here previously and ordered SN. I refuse to violate his privacy and dig through posts from around that time, but I just wanted to reach out to this community.
I miss my friend so much and really just wished he opened up. He was the life and soul of every party - but his life was his and I respect is decision.
The first night we met, we did so much ketamine that we kept introductiong ourselves to eachother over and over, it's such a fond memory of mine. We hung out daily from then, smoking weed on a hill by the sea and just chatting .Fast forward a decade and he's no longer here. I re-read the news article about him regularly.
Maybe I'm ready to join him? This reality is hell. I hate my job. I love my girlfriend so much. I love my family.
But this isn't what I thought life would be like at this age.
I hope I am OK to post this.
I want to be specifically clear - I completely agree with the right to die in whichever method you choose.
In 2019, my best friend (who I had no idea was considering CTB), took their life in a hotel room. Apparently there had been multiple attempts, such as jumping, etc. which I had no idea of. My other friends did, but it was his choice not to tell me, and I really respect my friends for not telling me as it was his private choice. In my opinion, it's a level of bravery I could never reach.
I am trying to understand the method he used. Apparently he ordered something online to here in the UK. When the police searched his home, they found a second "vial" of something. The biopsy came back inconclusive, however one of our close friends mentioned saltpeter? This is the bit of information I'm missing that may be give me closure.
From reading this forum, I believe he may have been a member here previously and ordered SN. I refuse to violate his privacy and dig through posts from around that time, but I just wanted to reach out to this community.
I miss my friend so much and really just wished he opened up. He was the life and soul of every party - but his life was his and I respect is decision.
The first night we met, we did so much ketamine that we kept introductiong ourselves to eachother over and over, it's such a fond memory of mine. We hung out daily from then, smoking weed on a hill by the sea and just chatting .Fast forward a decade and he's no longer here. I re-read the news article about him regularly.
Maybe I'm ready to join him? This reality is hell. I hate my job. I love my girlfriend so much. I love my family.
But this isn't what I thought life would be like at this age.
Last edited:
.
