Venting Being too scared and feeling like I'll never succeed

[lostangel]

I had the house to myself today I went to practice full suspension with the belt between the door and top of the frame. I only put one foot off the unit I was standing on. I started to see my vision go black but when I saw that I stood up.

I just feel that I will never succeed with this. I don't know why but I am scared of going through with it, The only positive thing is that I didn't hesitate to try it. I just went straight at it.

I'm at a loss. Other methods I can't do such as getting a gun it's near impossible, I can't get SN because of my home situation. I have to cross off jumping because of there are no high building or cranes near me.


Thanks for reading

 

[CarefulWithThatAxe]

I have the same problem when I try partial suspension I haven't had the opportunity to try full-suspension yet when I do that maybe it try not to fret it isn't easy.

 

[Bob_Luman]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I too have contemplated using this method as a way of ctb. But due to the complexity of getting the right spot of the Carotid Artery and the horrifying damages, both physically and mentally one may face should they fail I have turned away from this method. Somebody replied to a thread I put up on this topic stating a guy, who sadly failed was left unable to blink or move for around two years. He was left unable to communicate with anyone because of the brain damage. I wish you peace my friend with whatever route you wish to take, none of us deserve to suffer.

 

[Empty Smile]

Getting past the SI is the challenge. I've wondered how many can just up and do it without a second thought, while others struggle.

This is why I'm trying to go the peaceful way of CO instead of hanging. Drink, get drunk, fall asleep, never wake up.

Being scared is part of the SI. We all go through it.

Either way, we are all here for you.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Maybe you're just not ready, or if you believe in things like universe, you are not done? Im so sorry you feeling this way..

 

[Quinlor]

You always can use a knife in your neck... I dreaming with this frequently. You can do this in a bathtup or something, a lot of blood yes however you certainly will die quickly.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I guess my answer is not really a good one... Sorry for that.... Ill put on a little light for you, to hopefully give you strength and love

 

[lostangel]

You always can use a knife in your neck... I dreaming with this frequently. You can do this in a bathtup or something, a lot of blood yes however you certainly will die quickly.

In theory yes but after looking at people do it live it doesn't look the best way. I will keep it in mind but I'm not sure if I will choose that method.

 

[Quinlor]

In theory yes but after looking at people do it live it doesn't look the best way. I will keep it in mind but I'm not sure if I will choose that method.

who cares how you look like? you will be dead man yes baby!

 

[Ireland]

I had the house to myself today I went to practice full suspension with the belt between the door and top of the frame. I only put one foot off the unit I was standing on. I started to see my vision go black but when I saw that I stood up.

I just feel that I will never succeed with this. I don't know why but I am scared of going through with it, The only positive thing is that I didn't hesitate to try it. I just went straight at it.

I'm at a loss. Other methods I can't do such as getting a gun it's near impossible, I can't get SN because of my home situation. I have to cross off jumping because of there are no high building or cranes near me.


Thanks for reading

We are hardwired not to do it that's why it's so difficult.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I too have contemplated using this method as a way of ctb. But due to the complexity of getting the right spot of the Carotid Artery and the horrifying damages, both physically and mentally one may face should they fail I have turned away from this method. Somebody replied to a thread I put up on this topic stating a guy, who sadly failed was left unable to blink or move for around two years. He was left unable to communicate with anyone because of the brain damage. I wish you peace my friend with whatever route you wish to take, none of us deserve to suffer.

It is so complicated. I don't know where to start finding the right method. I had never considered this until recently and have no choice but to do something.

 

[Bob_Luman]

We are hardwired not to do it that's why it's so difficult.
It is so complicated. I don't know where to start finding the right method. I had never considered this until recently and have no choice but to do something.

I'm going with SN instead because the setting up process is so much simpler. What's even better is you won't suffer permanent damage if you fail. It's all reversible far safer then anything I've found or heard of. I'll be honest I got excited when finding it as I can't wait to ctb and not exist anymore.

 

[Ireland]

I'm going with SN instead because the setting up process is so much simpler. What's even better is you won't suffer permanent damage if you fail. It's all reversible far safer then anything I've found or heard of. I'll be honest I got excited when finding it as I can't wait to ctb and not exist anymore.

I don't even know what SN is as new to this.
Can I ask why you want to end it?

 

[LonelySoul]

Getting past the SI is the challenge. I've wondered how many can just up and do it without a second thought, while others struggle.

This is why I'm trying to go the peaceful way of CO instead of hanging. Drink, get drunk, fall asleep, never wake up.

Being scared is part of the SI. We all go through it.

Either way, we are all here for you.

What is SI?

 

[one4all]

What is SI?

Survival Instincts. Your body doesn't want to go so it may fight back.

 

[Bob_Luman]

I don't even know what SN is as new to this.
Can I ask why you want to end it?

It's often a white powder which is used to curate meats. Curating meats is when you can prevent it going stale and for later use. The reason I want to end it is because I am really un happy. I'm 19 years old so still quite young but i just don't see life going in the way i want it to. I don't have many friends and i don't see myself making much more acquaintances or friendships in the future. I have tried so hard for a relationship too but often get ghosted and I feel rubbish knowing I don't cross many peoples minds and nobody has seen anything in me. So I want to die to end the pain as I have had the on and off depression for two years now.

 

[Ireland]

So sorry to hear how you're feeling. Just want to say things can change, especially as you are so young. Do you have family around? Couldnt leave your message without replying.

 

[Bob_Luman]

So sorry to hear how you're feeling. Just want to say things can change, especially as you are so young. Do you have family around? Couldnt leave your message without replying.

Yes I have a really good relationship with my family. That is what really hurts me because I know it is a huge scummy thing to do. My mum I know for a fact I will cause tremendous amounts of pain. She directly said to me if you die I don't feel like I could go on living. She has said she will take me to doctors for the second time and make me take meds but I'm scared to since they allegedly cause cognitive impairment. Which is trouble remembering things and making decisions. In summary they mess you up. Not to mention some of the sign effects the doctor said to me that for a while youd feel worse before they kicked in as part of the symptom.

 

[Ireland]

Yes I have a really good relationship with my family. That is what really hurts me because I know it is a huge scummy thing to do. My mum I know for a fact I will cause tremendous amounts of pain. She directly said to me if you die I don't feel like I could go on living. She has said she will take me to doctors for the second time and make me take meds but I'm scared to since they allegedly cause cognitive impairment. Which is trouble remembering things and making decisions. In summary they mess you up. Not to mention some of the sign effects the doctor said to me that for a while youd feel worse before they kicked in as part of the symptom.

wa wa
I was really scared of taking medication too but I know a lot of people whose lives have been turned round taking thmem. Not everyone gets side effects and if they do they dont always last. Its funny how we dont worry about taking medication for other parts of our body but we are nervous when it comes to our brains.
There are other alternatives like 5HTp and other natural stuff?
Your relationship with your mum sounds great, sounds like she'd do anythjng for you.

 

[LonelySoul]

Yes I have a really good relationship with my family. That is what really hurts me because I know it is a huge scummy thing to do. My mum I know for a fact I will cause tremendous amounts of pain. She directly said to me if you die I don't feel like I could go on living. She has said she will take me to doctors for the second time and make me take meds but I'm scared to since they allegedly cause cognitive impairment. Which is trouble remembering things and making decisions. In summary they mess you up. Not to mention some of the sign effects the doctor said to me that for a while youd feel worse before they kicked in as part of the symptom.

Believe me, if you have a fantastic relationship with your Mum that is one of the best relationships you will have in life. You are still so young and life is not just about the failures, embrace the good and the small achievements you make. Ultimately the decision is yours, but see a bit of life first before you go down that route. I wish you the best.

 

[Rider66]

It's often a white powder which is used to curate meats. Curating meats is when you can prevent it going stale and for later use. The reason I want to end it is because I am really un happy. I'm 19 years old so still quite young but i just don't see life going in the way i want it to. I don't have many friends and i don't see myself making much more acquaintances or friendships in the future. I have tried so hard for a relationship too but often get ghosted and I feel rubbish knowing I don't cross many peoples minds and nobody has seen anything in me. So I want to die to end the pain as I have had the on and off depression for two years now.

You can get help for depression. Do it. Try it. I didn't and now I'm 53 and seriously thinking CTB. Your life has barely begun. It will be so possible to change

 

[LonelySoul]

I had the house to myself today I went to practice full suspension with the belt between the door and top of the frame. I only put one foot off the unit I was standing on. I started to see my vision go black but when I saw that I stood up.

I just feel that I will never succeed with this. I don't know why but I am scared of going through with it, The only positive thing is that I didn't hesitate to try it. I just went straight at it.

I'm at a loss. Other methods I can't do such as getting a gun it's near impossible, I can't get SN because of my home situation. I have to cross off jumping because of there are no high building or cranes near me.


Thanks for reading

I think that is half the battle really, being too scared to try it. If only it wouldn't cause us physical pain and it would be quick, then we may have all done it sooner, I know I would have done. I wish you peace which ever method you choose.