Being repulsed by fancy things

[Snake of Eden]

Recently I been finding myself weirdly being repulsed by fancy things and extravagant lifestyles. It just feels alien and uncomfortable to strive to accumulate too fancy things while so many humans are suffering. I feel so much better with less stuff as long as basics are met. I am not sure of it is a case of sour grapes (if I cant have it, I will hate it). Can anyone relate?

 

[deflationary]

I think I've always felt like that. I make like minimum wage and I still don't know what to do with my money. (I realize that being able to live on minimum wage is itself a luxury that that's not available for everyone) How can anyone care about all this pointless, materialistic bullshit? What's the draw? I don't get it. Just another way in which most people seem like aliens to me.

 

[idiotstillwantstodie]

Recently I been finding myself weirdly being repulsed by fancy things and extravagant lifestyles. It just feels alien and uncomfortable to strive to accumulate too fancy things while so many humans are suffering.

That is kind of the point of having an extravagant lifestyle. It's supposed to say: "i have this, you cannot have this, that makes me better than you."

 

[gr1lledcheese]

Recently I been finding myself weirdly being repulsed by fancy things and extravagant lifestyles. It just feels alien and uncomfortable to strive to accumulate too fancy things while so many humans are suffering. I feel so much better with less stuff as long as basics are met. I am not sure of it is a case of sour grapes (if I cant have it, I will hate it). Can anyone relate?

I'm not repulsed by it, but I do know some people who "have everything", and I honestly don't get some of the things they prize as collectible. One person I know collects flattened pennies.

 

[Julgran]

Another theory is that those rich people have sensed some kind of existential dread at some point in their lives, which is forcing them to fill their lives with useless junk, in order to feel like their lives matter and to feel tethered to this material world and existence.

I would think that they lead very emotionally and morally bankrupt lives.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, the thought of an extravagant lifestyle is depressing. I just knew that if I had that kind of lifestyle, I would still feel just as empty and dreadful. Owning expensive items would never make me feel better. I cannot enjoy anything. Everything feels so pointless. If I suddenly had a lot of money there would be nothing I would want to buy.

 

[summers]

I still play the lottery every week. You can be sure if I win, I'm going to live the most extravagant, hedonistic life I can. I would split my winnings with one person, and if I still had enough, help out a few friends. But I'm blowing through all my millions.

 

[Somber]

I wouldn't want to be born in an extravagantly rich family. Your social circle would be limited to other rich people as you'd be too afraid to connect with less "fortunates" out of fear they are only being friendly to you because of your wealth.

Money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure makes things a lot easier.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Another theory is that those rich peoploe have sensed some kind of existential dread at some point in their lives, which is forcing them to fill their lives with useless junk, in order to feel like their lives matter and to feel tethered to this material world and existence.

I would think that they lead very emotionally and morally bankrupt lives.

The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting different result. If that void can never be filled with what you are doing maybe try and do it the opposite way so to increase your chances of actually filling that void somehow?

To me, the thought of an extravagant lifestyle is depressing. I just knew that if I had that kind of lifestyle, I would still feel just as empty and dreadful. Owning expensive items would never make me feel better. I cannot enjoy anything. Everything feels so pointless. If I suddenly had a lot of money there would be nothing I would want to buy.

I agree with you. I personally would get excited at first if i ever get suddenly rich but then it will get old quickly and I will end up feeling worse than before because now there is nothing out there for me to desire after.

I still play the lottery every week. You can be sure if I win, I'm going to live the most extravagant, hedonistic life I can. I would split my winnings with one person, and if I still had enough, help out a few friends. But I'm blowing through all my millions.

I always like to go online and see how very wealthy people live. Big Mansions with Megayacht with top notch furnishings, ammenities, cars, around the clock servers. While I understand the allure of that type of living yet I dont get how much they go out of their way to make everything obscenely ostentatious With gold coating, marble and leather everywhere, designer clothes. It is just too much

 

[Lost Magic]

The worst ones are the people who are running governments. Look into the Bullingdon Boys Club with members like David Cameron (former Prime Minister) and Boris Johnson (current Prime Minister). That club where known for burning 50 pound notes in front of homeless and intimidating waiting staff at clubs and restaurants. Those affluent, pompous wankers are the worst. They are privileged just for being born into money and having the luxury to attend fancy prep schools just so that they can rule the underclasses with impunity.

 

[TooConscious]

I hate how wasteful people are. They have no care for possessions. Especially in western society what most people throw out is what people are begging for in other places. Not just food but clothes, bedding, they will keep the tap running even if they know it's a drought to save themselves such effort of having to rotate the tap a couple of times....
Then moan they have weak forearms in the gym.
Its safe to say I really don't respect any people. 99% of people had better opportunities to survive this life with little pain and in fact many opportunities for pleasure and to help others, they squander it, and burden others with their mishaps. If there was any justice aliens with ak47's would be down going to town on us right now.... But the universe obviously loves pain and injustice and suffering.

The worst ones are the people who are running governments. Look into the Bullingdon Boys Club with members like David Cameron (former Prime Minister) and Boris Johnson (current Prime Minister). That club where known for burning 50 pound notes in front of homeless and intimidating waiting staff at clubs and restaurants. Those affluent, pompous wankers are the worst. They are privileged just for being born into money and having the luxury to attend fancy prep schools just so that they can rule the underclasses with impunity.

They are the type that gang rape because they can't get off without catching a glimpse of each other's coked up whisky limp maggot. Humans are vile, burning money in front of someone who's mosylikely where they are because theyve been abused by people they trusted or loved or in posistins of power over them. All caused by these bastard.
AND NOBODY DOES ANYTHING

 

[Pluto]

There has been psychological research linking extreme wealth with narcissism.

As I understand it, the mechanism relates to cognitive dissonance. It starts with finding one's self abundantly in possession of a resource that billions of people around the world are all desperately battling to attain. Then there is the need to isolate one's self from hordes of people who are eager to suck up, have predatory motivations or attack in jealousy. Then there is the lack of grounding combined with easy access to rarified lifestyles. All of this is going to reduce empathy for fellow human beings (or animals) to near zero.

Australia's richest person, Gina Rinehart, is worth about US$20b and involved in mining. She has commented in the past along the lines that she would be happy to see average Australians make less than $1 per day as happens in parts of Africa. The classic villain - but what to expect given her background? Oh, and she has considerable media ownership and engagement in the political process. By 'coincidence' we have a coal industry lobbyist as prime minister.

As an aside, this syndrome is a little bit like what happens when certain people have exceptional physical attractiveness. Because of its rarity and desirability, it leads to all sorts of issues like lack of empathy, jealousy and so on. Somehow the light of beauty casts an incredibly dark shadow.

Personally, my views are quite mixed. I have much appreciation for fine engineering or craftsmanship. Even the most expensive automobile is worth only an infinitesimal proportion of the net worth of some of these people so is hardly worth focusing on.

However, when average people have their anger channeled into supporting right-wing media and far-right political parties directly serving the billionaire class (eg. cutting taxes, supporting fossil fuel industries, slashing social services for the needy and labelling their opponents 'socialist'), they can very much consider themselves enablers of the tragic socioeconomic situation faced by our world.

 

[Snake of Eden]

There has been psychological research linking extreme wealth with narcissism.

As I understand it, the mechanism relates to cognitive dissonance. It starts with finding one's self abundantly in possession of a resource that billions of people around the world are all desperately battling to attain. Then there is the need to isolate one's self from hordes of people who are eager to suck up, have predatory motivations or attack in jealousy. Then there is the lack of grounding combined with easy access to rarified lifestyles. All of this is going to reduce empathy for fellow human beings (or animals) to near zero.

Australia's richest person, Gina Rinehart, is worth about US$20b and involved in mining. She has commented in the past along the lines that she would be happy to see average Australians make less than $1 per day as happens in parts of Africa. The classic villain - but what to expect given her background? Oh, and she has considerable media ownership and engagement in the political process. By 'coincidence' we have a coal industry lobbyist as prime minister.

As an aside, this syndrome is a little bit like what happens when certain people have exceptional physical attractiveness. Because of its rarity and desirability, it leads to all sorts of issues like lack of empathy, jealousy and so on. Somehow the light of beauty casts an incredibly dark shadow.

Personally, my views are quite mixed. I have much appreciation for fine engineering or craftsmanship. Even the most expensive automobile is worth only an infinitesimal proportion of the net worth of some of these people so is hardly worth focusing on.

However, when average people have their anger channeled into supporting right-wing media and far-right political parties directly serving the billionaire class (eg. cutting taxes, supporting fossil fuel industries, slashing social services for the needy and labelling their opponents 'socialist'), they can very much consider themselves enablers of the tragic socioeconomic situation faced by our world.

Thank you very this extensive take on this matter. To me I feel my repulsion stems from an association between extravagance and the elite psyche. I dont necessarily hate the fine things in life but it became a symbol of a symptom to one of the biggest problems in our world now and the way things are. Same thing for extravagant physical beauty, my encounters with those who are deemed most beautiful by majority of people and people who want to be them made me very suspecious of the inner nature of those type of people and often it is harder for me to find them as attractive because of the likelihood of being not so great people.

 

[Pluto]

my encounters with those who are deemed most beautiful by majority of people and people who want to be them made me very suspecious of the inner nature of those type of people

Good to have that nuanced perspective. These sorts of discussions can be very constructive. I grew up around a mix of rich and poor people, which helps for building bridges.

A bit over a decade ago when I got my first full-time job, the first thing I did was take out the biggest loan that I could so I could buy a then 4-year-old top-of-the-range Holden (Australian car). I wasn't very good at managing my money at the time; I was renting, had no plan for home ownership and hadn't yet realised that I would descend straight into homelessness if I didn't get my act together.

But anyway, I never found out who it was at work that decided to hit my car, causing damage to the paintwork on the bumper. I had parked it in the furthest corner of the lot so it was no accident. No doubt whoever did it was motivated by lashing out at the symbolism of a large, shiny, imposing automobile, not realising that I had been a Holden lover since the age of 11. And my capitalist pig wealth was so great that it literally took me 5 years to get around to funding the several hundred it cost to have the damage fixed. I still have the car as it's become a bit of a classic.

Anyway, regarding people who are physically attractive, let's just keep in mind that there are plenty of them on this website. Of course they have many privileges, but will also be subjected to severe human rights violations if they are not protected from predators. And even when they are protected, they may wind up capricious hedonists with no substance. Sometimes at a visceral level I feel envy of them being given attention, special treatment and so on, but when I see how the world fucks us all up equally, there's no need for it. In the end, I feel it's important to do our best to see through our differences and love one another.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Anyway, regarding people who are physically attractive, let's just keep in mind that there are plenty of them on this website. Of course they have many privileges, but will also be subjected to severe human rights violations if they are not protected from predators. And even when they are protected, they wind up capricious hedonists with no substance. Sometimes at a visceral level I feel envy of them being given attention, special treatment and so on, but when I see how the world fucks us all up equally, there's no need for it. In the end, I feel it's important to do our best to see through our differences and love one another.

I totally agree

 

[LastFlowers]

I think I've always felt like that. I make like minimum wage and I still don't know what to do with my money. (I realize that being able to live on minimum wage is itself a luxury that that's not available for everyone) How can anyone care about all this pointless, materialistic bullshit? What's the draw? I don't get it. Just another way in which most people seem like aliens to me.

I understand on one hand, as even though I don't own many expensive items, I do own quite an overload of small little knick-knacks that I've accumulated over the years, perhaps as a way of filling a void and attaching sentiment to things when it cannot be placed elsewhere.
My "things" say more about me than what most people see superficially upon meeting, I've grown attached to them, but I guess they're still not a good substitute for the experiences I don't have and never will.
I feel like a tattered dog roaming the scorched earth, abused and rejected at every corner, picking up bits of trash and old toys to carry back to my den, just little things to hold and admire for a few brief seconds, a tiny escape, a meager indulgence of the self that has been starved for so long.

 

[Snake of Eden]

This is how ridiculously expensive it is just to maintain one insignificant aspect of rich people's daily lives. Good for them I guess!

 

[Julgran]

This is how ridiculously expensive it is just to maintain one insignificant aspect of rich people's daily lives. Good for them I guess!

View attachment 83508

It must be hard being rich. I'm almost feeling sorry for them...

 

[Snake of Eden]

It must be hard being rich. I'm almost feeling sorry for them...

I know right?! This is exactly how I feel. Just to maintain the pompous facade, you gotta see all that money that you didnt really work hard for just evaporates.

 

[Capsicum_Corral]

One person I know collects flattened pennies.

It certainly sounds like an affordable hobby.

 

[MaskedMan12345]

To me, the thought of an extravagant lifestyle is depressing. I just knew that if I had that kind of lifestyle, I would still feel just as empty and dreadful. Owning expensive items would never make me feel better. I cannot enjoy anything. Everything feels so pointless. If I suddenly had a lot of money there would be nothing I would want to buy.

There's a book titled THE WORM AT THE CORE: THE ROLE OF DEATH IN LIFE (you can find it on Internet Archive..just do "archive.org/worm at the core", click on single-page format, scroll down to pdf and download. Voila) one might find interesting. Existential dread drives so much. More resources, more opportunities to mate, on and on. If I bought into any of that tripe, I'd have to shave my knuckles on the sidewalk. SS is a haven, a community I've just joined, but whose posts I've read for quite some time. I've never encountered such an incredible bunch of highly intelligent, incredibly thoughtful people in all my tubulent life. I appreciate all of you very much.

An aside: My mom, before she died, told me she was going to the bus stop to get on the bus. I asked her to where? "To heaven" she replied. Now, we are NOT religious, and by "heaven', this was not meant in the traditional sense. My mom had vascular dementia at the end and that was the only word she could come up with regarding the "other side", if there's one at all. She was speaking like a child at the time. I find it interesting that she talked abt "catching the bus" without ever having known that was a euphemism. My dad was waiting for the limo. I might catch an Uber. I have incredible guilt I wasn't with her at the "bus stop" holding her hand as she caught the bus. I promised I'd ride the bus with her and failed her at the most significant life event she ever had except for having been born. Even more so at the end, for she was conscious. Hate myself forever for this. Regret I didn't hug her more, speak kinder and softer at times. I was there her as caregiver and did great job, but also fell short at the very end.. Can't wait to join her, as delusional and steeped in magical thinking as that sentiment is. Have always felt like the dominant culture's values were/are a crock, a mass hypnotic for the tax sheets primarily. Our species is a virus. Maybe the koala bears will stage an uprising and put us down. Oh. to dream.

 

[MaskedMan12345]

Here's the link to PDF of above-mentioned book. Quite an interesting read. It really sums up our species. Better to be a cactus.

 

[myopybyproxy]

yes, unnecessary items - especially if they are scattered about and there are many of them - make my soul hurt. fancy items are not repulsive to me just because of their status - rather if something simpler could have been used to achieve the same purpose, I would feel more comfortable with the latter. but fancy items that are also useless instill a sense of rage ? dismay ? desire to avoid them and their owners.

I've always been a minimalist from the time I was 4 or 5. whenever I accumulate too many possessions I get uncomfortable. my living area must be spacious and it must be tidy and uncluttered for me to be able to relax.

 

[Snake of Eden]

yes, unnecessary items - especially if they are scattered about and there are many of them - make my soul hurt. fancy items are not repulsive to me just because of their status - rather if something simpler could have been used to achieve the same purpose, I would feel more comfortable with the latter. but fancy items that are also useless instill a sense of rage ? dismay ? desire to avoid them and their owners.

I've always been a minimalist from the time I was 4 or 5. whenever I accumulate too many possessions I get uncomfortable. my living area must be spacious and it must be tidy and uncluttered for me to be able to relax.

I agree very much. I think minimalism and decluttrr is akin to a better and freer mindset. Owning things is cool at first but once the novelty wears off and it is not really needed then it feels like a burden and a source of unconscious dread.