Being ignored feels worse than being rejected

[Deleted member 14573]

Friends who don't respond to my texts/calls, or take a long time to respond. My mother who doesn't respond to my texts, whether I'm in the hospital or trying to make amends with her. Opened up a couple of times this week here with no response.

It's moreso my own issue of feeling insecure and needing a sense of assurance. I'm oversensitive. I'd prefer if nobody knew of my existence than people knowing me and ignoring me. I could be doing something wrong but I guess it depends on each individual situation.

I wish I wasn't so sensitive but it does leave a pain in my heart and makes me feel foolish. I hope I get over this silliness soon.

 

[Good4Nothing]

They're the same thing to me - being ignored and being rejected. I'd rather be ignored. It hurts a bit, but not as much as the heartbreak of rejection.
If that damn girl had just ignored me, I wouldn't still be suffering from her rejection.

Also, I'm mostly ignored here, too. I don't create threads because they go ignored and then my feelings get hurt. I'm too sensitive, too...

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I wouldn't say it's worse for one reason. If you're ignored there's still a chance they might stop ignoring you. Once you're rejected that's generally it, you're done. I know the pain of both though and neither one is very fun.

 

[Huntfish34]

It's not silly at all,. Something I struggle with Big time on a Daily and constant basis. I hate it.

 

[Yiyo123]

I think that being rejected is hardest than being ignored. Rejection really hurt your feelings. Being ignored may have a reason and you can reachout and talk. But being rejected leaves deeper wounds and evoque insecurities. Both are bad feelings...

I'm practically immune to being ignored, but rejection really hurts my feelings. Make me feel worthless and incapable.

Thanks for reading!!!

 

[Deleted member 14177]

@angel-of-the-night, so much love to you. I truly relate and struggle with this often. Then I am left with this overwhelming loneliness and feeling of desperation to simply be cared for. It is an awful feeling. All I have are many, many hugs. And an open inbox to talk anytime, friend.

 

[StringPuppet]

I feel the same way and it's why I'm somewhat glad I don't try to form connections with people

 

[cyan]

It's why I'm going to ctb, both rejection and being ignored. I understand what you're saying.

 

[Ghost2211]

I view them as the same thing.

 

[Lilacmoon]

In a way, they are the same thing, aren't they?
It's not silly at all to feel this way.
I feel the same as you.

 

[Huntfish34]

I think they can be the same.. Depending on the person and situation at hand.

 

[Deleted member 14573]

Thanks for your responses, it genuinely cheered up me up today and made me feel less alone :)

I guess it's not the end of the world, just something I'll have to deal with.

I appreciate you guys.

 

[flower]

I can relate so much, I'm definitely oversensitive too. even if it's something that's probably innocent I look into things way too much. it's good that you can recognise your thought patterns though at least. hugs

 

[darkness falls]

Not silly at all. They've done studies in fact that show how damaging being ignored is. Even when you're ignored by complete strangers. They found that your brain interpreted being ignored to the same degree as if you were physically assaulted. That's why it hurts do much. They theorized that since the hunter gatherer phase of human evolution anyone who was ostracized would risk losing food, shelter, and safety. So we evolved a warning system in our minds in a way that interprets being ignored as a very serious affair.

So it's no joke. Being ignored fucking hurts. I'm so sorry you had to experience it. I'm very familiar with it too and it SUCKS.

 

[Spyware]

Rejection is fine, especially if they're honest
To me, ignore is worse. The reason it hurts so much is because I myself never ignore anyone, and expect others to do the same

 

[Reach]

I think there is something so fundamentally, deeply hurtful of being rejected. Basically it means that your genetics are not good enough (in most cases, and I include personality here too because it's also based on genetics, but I don't include bad hygiene) which is so fundamentally hurtful to the person that it's really hard to cope with.

It's hurtful because you're getting rejected for something that is totally out of your control and so hurtful because it's what you are made of and it's like saying "sorry but your genetics are garbage to me". It's just truly sucks how this system work honestly and having consciousness as a human being makes it way worse.

Nobody chose his/her body and yet most of time people don't even give a chance to the person just based on one tiny parameter that is actually based on pure luck.

 

[feast or famine]

Don't put yourself down by saying how you feel is silly. It's not. It's relatable and I'm sure everyone at one point or another has felt this exact way. I certainly have.

Thoughts like this keep me from engaging with others on a regular basis because I'm under the constant assumption that I'm bothering them and that's much too stressful of a thought to bear all of the time. My logical self tells me that's not the case, but when have we ever let our logical side lead us?

It's almost like I self sabotage and cut and run as soon as I can in fear that I will be hurt by someone's lack of reciprocation towards me. It's unhealthy as fuck to live like this, but I don't know how to stop it.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. You definitely aren't alone. Mental/emotional torture is just as damaging as physical. It's exhausting having to be a human and deal with the complexities of our existence. I can safely say I never want any part of this again.

 

[BridgeJumper]

How can I even be rejected when being rejected implies interacting with people, and Im invisible to them? Tried to jump and when I told my only friend nobody called me in the few days I ran away to my spot he just said 'No one really gives a shit about you, do they?'

 

[woxihuanni]

You are not oversensitive. Nobody thrives without a someone who makes them their highest priority, and a few who makes them high priority. That is just how humans work.

 

[BridgeJumper]

I kept isolating myself as a child and my mother kept telling me humans are social animals and I cant go on like this, I will need others to function. But it doesnt go the other way around I guess since Im an object to them :'D

 

[demuic]

Being rejected is physically painful to me. I've gone out of my way and missed many opportunities to avoid that feeling. At this point I can say I'm used to being ignored, even if that's still painful, it's a duller pain because that's my constant experience. I am shocked any time someone decides to talk to me which reminds me other people can choose to interact with me, they just don't.