Venting Being Horny While Depressed Is a Mindfuck

[Celerity]

I'm on day 7 of this nonsense. I am apathetic about life, regretful of the past, and anxious about the future. I don't feel attractive in the slightest. Doesn't stop my mind from generating a porn parade at all times of the day, even at work. I have even found myself being more sympathetic to the creepy old dude customers who hit on me. Whatever, man. I'm thirsty AF too. Peace be with you.

Instead of using my energies to be productive or hang out with acquaintances or touch some fucking grass, I just spend nearly all day fantasizing about sex. More of my coworkers are attractive than ever for no reason aside from my ridiculous thirstiness. Even my supervisor is not immune, though he is definitely a hottie. Instead of listening to what he had to say the other day, I pictured him plowing me into a mattress because who needs employment and money when you have sex on the brain like a goddamn nympho?

At least my appetite has gone down so I guess it's a win? Anybody else in the same boat? This is exhausting. I even have trouble sleeping at this point.

Kind regards,

Dying of Fucking Thirst

 

[catflowers]

wait are you are woman or gay man because lately i have been touch starved it just feels like if i died nobody would give a fuck
i have never kissed or had sex and i am 19 i just feel so alone and want to end my life because everyone else has done that by my age
i know this sounds weird but i still fit into my elementary school shirts and pants from 6th grade and it turns me on a little bit to think the high school guys i have met in my life were crushing over an 18 year old girl with the body of an elementary schooler and how pedophilic they were
everyone treats me like an elementary schooler because my adult height is 4 feet 9 which is also the average height for an 11 year old girl which kinda turns me on a little in a fucked up way
i have met elementary school boys who are taller than me and get put into the elementary schooler aged program which includes meeting the adult volunteers who treated me like i was fucking 10 and comparing my body to the adult women there with their huge tits and tall stature made me feel like a fucking loser
i wish i wasn't so sex craved when i have no friends

 

[Celerity]

wait are you are woman or gay man because lately i have been touch starved it just feels like if i died nobody would give a fuck
i have never kissed or had sex and i am 19 i just feel so alone and want to end my life because everyone else has done that by my age
i know this sounds weird but i still fit into my elementary school shirts and pants from 6th grade and it turns me on a little bit to think the high school guys i have met in my life were crushing over an 18 year old girl with the body of an elementary schooler and how pedophilic they were
everyone treats me like an elementary schooler because my adult height is 4 feet 9 which is also the average height for an 11 year old girl which kinda turns me on a little in a fucked up way
i have met elementary school boys who are taller than me and get put into the elementary schooler aged program which includes meeting the adult volunteers who treated me like i was fucking 10 and comparing my body to the adult women there with their huge tits and tall stature made me feel like a fucking loser
i wish i wasn't so sex craved when i have no friends

I am a woman who is bi. During these times, I usually become more straight for some reason.

 

[Raskolnikov's Axe]

I'm on the opposite side. Not even a hint of arousal during a depressive episode.

 

[Celerity]

I'm on the opposite side. Not even a hint of arousal during a depressive episode.

This is me at my worst, but here we are. Got that nice depression/anxiety combo rolling.

 

[Raskolnikov's Axe]

wait are you are woman or gay man because lately i have been touch starved it just feels like if i died nobody would give a fuck
i have never kissed or had sex and i am 19 i just feel so alone and want to end my life because everyone else has done that by my age
i know this sounds weird but i still fit into my elementary school shirts and pants from 6th grade and it turns me on a little bit to think the high school guys i have met in my life were crushing over an 18 year old girl with the body of an elementary schooler and how pedophilic they were
everyone treats me like an elementary schooler because my adult height is 4 feet 9 which is also the average height for an 11 year old girl which kinda turns me on a little in a fucked up way
i have met elementary school boys who are taller than me and get put into the elementary schooler aged program which includes meeting the adult volunteers who treated me like i was fucking 10 and comparing my body to the adult women there with their huge tits and tall stature made me feel like a fucking loser
i wish i wasn't so sex craved when i have no friends

Well i'm a 20 year old man who never kissed and is touch starved, so I understand your pain. Also, I struggled with my height in my teens even though I am taller then that. Take some solace in the fact that you are not a man. You'll find someone(some people might even find it cute). Man of your height will have a far challenging obstacle to overcome.

 

[catflowers]

Well i'm a 20 year old man who never kissed and is touch starved, so I understand your pain. Also, I struggled with my height in my teens even though I am taller then that. Take some solace in the fact that you are not a man. You'll find someone(some people might even find it cute). Man of your height will have a far challenging obstacle to overcome.

I understand. Yeah I know what women have

 

[theboy]

I don't do well with women. The lack of feminine tact and having relationships has affected me. I don't get a passionate kiss, a tight hug with scratches, join carnally and moans are the background music in a room. All my life it's been like this even though I feel hot

 

[hamvil]

I am in the same boat. Playing fantasies in my mind.

wait are you are woman or gay man because lately i have been touch starved it just feels like if i died nobody would give a fuck
i have never kissed or had sex and i am 19 i just feel so alone and want to end my life because everyone else has done that by my age
i know this sounds weird but i still fit into my elementary school shirts and pants from 6th grade and it turns me on a little bit to think the high school guys i have met in my life were crushing over an 18 year old girl with the body of an elementary schooler and how pedophilic they were
everyone treats me like an elementary schooler because my adult height is 4 feet 9 which is also the average height for an 11 year old girl which kinda turns me on a little in a fucked up way
i have met elementary school boys who are taller than me and get put into the elementary schooler aged program which includes meeting the adult volunteers who treated me like i was fucking 10 and comparing my body to the adult women there with their huge tits and tall stature made me feel like a fucking loser
i wish i wasn't so sex craved when i have no friends

The world is really a sad place. The issues you mention should not be issues at all in a normal world. We have all different heights and different body features. The sad true is that the first filter is always based on the external look. We possibly met our soulmate but maybe she/he was behind a body that di not comply with the accepted norm.

I can only tell you to hold on and give a chance to people to know the real you. Some men (like myself) are a bit scared of tall women and prefer a small one because they feel they can protect her. I guess such statement nowadays sounds very old-fashioned and possibly a bit maschilist. If you got this feeling I apologise, it was not my intention.

 

[SexyIncél]

I'm definitely fantasizing. I was having lots of nihilistic sex in my previous city. But now I've come to this city to perhaps depart this world. It has a really bad nightlife and I don't know anyone.

Wish we (those of us interested) could simply meet up, and snuggle or have messed-up nihilistic sex; maybe occasionally even give each other meaning. But no, that'd be tooooo easy. Some would pretend & troll for sex/intimacy

 

[estadiare]

I'd often jerk off more often than i can count and then do nothing for the rest of the day. Worst feeling ever, do not recommend.

 

[lofticries]

I've been having frequent fantasies of me doming a guy despite being meek af. My stature fits the role though since I'm a smidgen over 6ft. I've never had control in my life so i think my current desire developed from that.

Anyway I'm having a pms migraine atm so no kinky thoughts now.

 

[outatime_85]

While I understand the desire to be wanted, seen, and touched, the lack of those things is, to say the least, bothersome.

For me, I have been isolated, dealing with issues for an extremely long time.

So I had to turn the volume down on those thoughts and feelings, and other aspects of myself as well.

Besides, why should I keep those emotions turned on?

1. I'm unlovable.

2. No one fancy's me in that way.

That said, for those who do still want to partake in such endeavors, I do hope you are able to eventually find suitable partners, even if it is for only one night.

 

[Teddybear]

…
Instead of using my energies to be productive or hang out with acquaintances or touch some fucking grass, I just spend nearly all day fantasizing about sex.
…

Sex and Aggression are closely related and depression can easily turn into auto-aggressive behaviour.

I myself turn into a sexual animal when depressed, but I am also a walking tinderbox then. Not for a potential partner - because matter of fact being "horny like a kite" doesn't make you more attractive. But any outsider foolish enough to provoke me in this state of mind is shaking a flask of nitroglycerin.

So yeah, sex and aggression often do go hand in hand.

 

[Celerity]

I've been having frequent fantasies of me doming a guy despite being meek af. My stature fits the role though since I'm a smidgen over 6ft. I've never had control in my life so i think my current desire developed from that.

Anyway I'm having a pms migraine atm so no kinky thoughts now.

I don't know why, but I assumed you were a dude. That's a hot fantasy to have. Hope you find a lucky guy.

 

[jodes2]

My sex drive is dead. Gf not happy.

 

[Teddybear]

I don't know why, but I assumed you were a dude. That's a hot fantasy to have. Hope you find a lucky guy.

Why the assumption that being on the receiving end of the whip makes the guy "happy"?

Many women stay in abusive relationships because they think they deserve to be punished.

The only difference to men is that society always assumes that "he" is in charge of all his faculties and master of his world.

I've been touring D/S forums and there are a lot of psych games going on there - not all of them healthy.

 

[hamvil]

Sex and Aggression are closely related and depression can easily turn into auto-aggressive behaviour.

I myself turn into a sexual animal when depressed, but I am also a walking tinderbox then. Not for a potential partner - because matter of fact being "horny like a kite" doesn't make you more attractive. But any outsider foolish enough to provoke me in this state of mind is shaking a flask of nitroglycerin.

So yeah, sex and aggression often do go hand in hand.

I can confirm that. I had an affair with a younger girl and we really pushed ourselves a lot into the aggressive and violent sex field. Albeit it was consensual to this day I still wonder if that can be 100% true. At the end it felt apart and she told me that she is looking for love not violence and went away. I still daydream about all our games.

 

[Teddybear]

I can confirm that. I had an affair with a younger girl and we really pushed ourselves a lot into the aggressive and violent sex field. Albeit it was consensual to this day I still wonder if that can be 100% true. At the end it felt apart and she told me that she is looking for love not violence and went away. I still daydream about all our games.

If you have been raised in an environment where emotional aggression and physical violence were as normal as getting a birthday cake, then your adult mind can never seperate these feelings from "love" and "caring".

They all become one and the same.

My uncle dearest beat up my mother - his own sister - in a drunken rage for having disgraced the family by becoming "a nigger whore" in front of my eyes. His doting wife - my dearest aunty - later childed me and my cousin for having provoked the whole incident by "staying up that late".

Those are precious family memories, burnt into my brain forever. "Love" for me means beatings, yelling, screaming and threats of death and destruction.

 

[Celerity]

Why the assumption that being on the receiving end of the whip makes the guy "happy"?

Many women stay in abusive relationships because they think they deserve to be punished.

The only difference to men is that society always assumes that "he" is in charge of all his faculties and master of his world.

I've been touring D/S forums and there are a lot of psych games going on there - not all of them healthy.

Ummm….I took the OP's comment to mean role play in the bedroom, not a toxic or abusive relationship. That's what "domming" generally refers to.

I don't like kink or BDSM, but I don't think some role play is harmful. OP didn't describe anything that hateful.

 

[Teddybear]

Ummm….I took the OP's comment to mean role play in the bedroom, not a toxic or abusive relationship. That's what "domming" generally refers to.

I don't like kink or BDSM, but I don't think some role play is harmful. OP didn't describe anything that hateful.

There is no clean cut definition of BDSM, just like their isn't of "sex" in generell. There are caring Domes and Masters who honestly worry about the emotional well being of their subs.
They are real "parent replacements" and enjoy their role as authority substitutes.

Yet there are others who are just plain mean and outright abuse the dependent state of mind their subjects approach them in.

And then there is the vast majority who is just in it for quick kinks and fast money - with no appreciation for the mental going ons behind it all.

 

[hamvil]

There is no clean cut definition of BDSM, just like their isn't of "sex" in generell. There are caring Domes and Masters who honestly worry about the emotional well being of their subs.
They are real "parent replacements" and enjoy their role as authority substitutes.

Yet there are others who are just plain mean and outright abuse the dependent state of mind their subjects approach them in.

And then there is the vast majority who is just in it for quick kinks and fast money - with no appreciation for the mental going ons behind it all.

I always told myself that I did really care for my sub. However she would forget many time to use the safe word or gesture so I would continue with the role playing even after it was ok for her. I think she got pressured to the point of not wanting to disappoint me. No idea.

 

[Teddybear]

I always told myself that I did really care for my sub. However she would forget many time to use the safe word or gesture so I would continue with the role playing even after it was ok for her. I think she got pressured to the point of not wanting to disappoint me. No idea.

I think it was more like she *wanted* to get subdued so badly - out of auto-aggression - that she tried to force herself into a place neither her body nor her soul were ready to go to.

She tried to please an imaginary daddy, by offering herself up as a sacrifice, w/o really wanting to get slaughtered on that stone.

Its like wanting to grab a tasty meal from a boiling hot frying pan - w/o any protective gloves being around.

Its that burning desire to please a parent that motivates kids to obey. But some parents are "unpleasable" - yet we keep trying and trying and trying. Right up into adulthood and old age. :(

 

[hamvil]

I think it was more like she *wanted* to get subdued so badly - out of auto-aggression - that she tried to force herself into a place neither her body nor her soul were ready to go to.

She tried to please an imaginary daddy, by offering herself up as a sacrifice, w/o really wanting to get slaughtered on that stone.

Its like wanting to grab a tasty meal from a boiling hot frying pan - w/o any protective gloves being around.

Its that burning desire to please a parent that motivates kids to obey. But some parents are "unpleasable" - yet we keep trying and trying and trying. Right up into adulthood and old age. :(

She had an horrible father, wasting family money in bad financial activities. Doing the same with parents and friend. Spending what was left on alcohol and whores. Well also my father is not great, very abusive. Beating my mother while she was alive. I remember she not being scared at all about breath-play. When I asked her: "what if I make a mistake and kill you?" she replied "then I am dead" with a smile on her face. I think we were both broken toys.

 

[Teddybear]

She had an horrible father, wasting family money in bad financial activities. Doing the same with parents and friend. Spending what was left on alcohol and whores. Well also my father is not great, very abusive. Beating my mother while she was alive. I remember she not being scared at all about breath-play. When I asked her: "what if I make a mistake and kill you?" she replied "then I am dead" with a smile on her face. I think we were both broken toys.

My very first memory of mommy and daddy is waching my dad smack my mom upside the head in a way that would make Will Smith blush with envy. :D

I don't know why, but I just can't talk about this terrible memory seriously. And yes, the thought of dying *never* scared me - not even as a kid. I am not saying this to brag, for I think I am missing an important natural instinct here.

I honestly do not care about it. Not because I am brave, but because there is a huge black hole inside of me.

 

[hamvil]

My very first memory of mommy and daddy is waching my dad smack my mom upside the head in a way that would make Will Smith blush with envy. :D

I don't know why, but I just can't talk about this terrible memory seriously. And yes, the thought of dying *never* scared me - not even as a kid. I am not saying this to brag, for I think I am missing an important natural instinct here.

I honestly do not care about it. Not because I am brave, but because there is a huge black hole inside of me.

I have honestly only bad memories. I was constantly beaten by my mother even for unbelievable things. She used to slap me very hard if I did not get better fast from fever. She beated me during my holidays party because I would not smile enough. Strangely enough my father never touched me but he beat my mother. I still remember a scene where he trow a chair at her. After my mother killed herself I remember my father raping my aunt in our house. I just pretended I did not see anything and run away. No, I did not have the best childhood. Ah and on top of all this my mother kept telling me I was an error and that I should not have born.

Never though about dying when I was a kid. It scares me now a lot, but at the same time I am so tired. I did the little I could do, I failed and now I would like to just go. There is nothing more for me to do in this shitty world.