• Hey Guest,

    An update on the OFCOM situation: As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. OFCOM, the UK’s communications regulator, has singled out our community, demanding compliance with their Online Safety Act despite our minimal UK presence. This is a blatant overreach, and they have been sending letters pressuring us to comply with their censorship agenda.

    Our platform is already blocked by many UK ISPs, yet they continue their attempts to stifle free speech. Standing up to this kind of regulatory overreach requires lots of resources to maintain our infrastructure and fight back against these unjust demands. If you value our community and want to support us during this time, we would greatly appreciate any and all donations.

    Read more about the situation here: Click to View Post

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
kitia973

kitia973

From China
Dec 24, 2024
88
TW for mentions of violence

I find it quite funny how nobody tends to take mental health and suicidal thoughts seriously until it gets completely out of hand, at least for me.
My mental health has been rapidly declining for the past few months, mostly due to my school and not adjusting to the new environment. I attend a public school that is extremely overcrowded (literal stampedes between classes) and I have very indifferent teachers who do not teach. I have tried to mention that my mental health was not doing well before, and most of them ignored it.
For some background information, my old Chinese school had 19 students a class and every teacher actually taught the stuff instead of ignoring every student who tried to ask for help.

I faced a lot of discrimination and bias at my current school. It was visible that teachers would treat me differently because of my cultural background, often times undermining my academic scores due to the most minor and ridiculous infractions.

Anyway, a few days ago I could not take my shitty school any longer and explicitly told my counselor that if the biased treatment and indifference continued I would stab myself in the neck, severing my cartoid artery and spraying my blood everywhere at school. I was angry, and wanted to appear serious as possible.
I was taken to the ED, but then discharged quickly. Nothing memorable happened at the hospital, as my family looked "supportive" and I was cooperative. It was mostly self-advocacy, and my parents were smart enough to say the right things that would prevent me from getting involuntarily hospitalized.

Well, the attitude of the school changed very quickly after that incident. None of my teachers treat me like shit now. My school is desperate to prevent another shooting from another angry student who thought nobody cared about them. There have also been multiple suicides at that school before, and the press coverage was shocking. Needless to say, the school did not wish for any more of that.

I suppose I am lucky enough to have " a strong sense of self-advocacy", as they called it. Most people are not assertive enough, but sometimes I feel like you just have to be extreme for others to take it seriously. In China we call this "发疯", or "going crazy". If you are polite and quiet, no one ever notices your struggles because your voice is dominated by all the other "happy" and loud people.

I have never cared about what others think of me interally either. I only care if they perform actions that are detrimental to my well-being and future, such as being discriminatory. But honestly, they can be discriminatory inside their heart all they want, as long as they don't physically harm me because of it. There was this instance where I received an 0 on a large assignment for turning in the assignment and an essay at the same time. The "correct" order was first showing the assignment, then the essay. Half of the class turned in the two things at the same time, and I was the only one who received a 0. Geez, wonder why?

I don't think they will have the courage to do that anymore, knowing that I might one day just go insane and casually spray my artery blood all over them. That was what I came off like to the counselor.




Also for background information, in China successful suicide by cutting is acutally quite common. Probably due to cultural differences, but a lot of Chinese celebrities, online figures, and even people I know committed suicide successfully by cutting their wrist. Stabbing the neck is less common, but still it can seen sometimes in news. Death by knives/cutting is actually a prevalent choice.
However, by no means I recommend cutting as a method for people on this site. This is just a personal choice, and cutting is definitely not a good choice if you want to die painlessly and looking somewhat peaceful.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: CogitoMori, Willy Wonka, hoppybunny and 4 others
hoppybunny

hoppybunny

Fearer of the Future
Jun 26, 2024
196
Im sorry you had to resort to that to feel heard. I have similar issues in my universities i attended. No one took me seriously unless i mentioned i wanted to die. It really sucks.

Also I've had racist teachers as well and the discrimination literally makes me so violent. I a student who always got A's in my math class was barely above a B with my racist teacher and when she got fired my grade magically went up to an A. Literally it's so unfair that people will treat you differently cause of your looks or culture.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: kitia973

Similar threads

s00ngone
Replies
1
Views
121
Suicide Discussion
MercenariesofMidgar
MercenariesofMidgar
a_carbon_based_life
Replies
0
Views
94
Recovery
a_carbon_based_life
a_carbon_based_life
author
Replies
5
Views
276
Offtopic
author
author
Fish On Land
Replies
5
Views
240
Recovery
Breebly
Breebly
N
Replies
5
Views
266
Offtopic
noname223
N