being black

[touhoufan]

im sorry if this is offtopic. i just want to discuss how being black actively pushes me towards ctb.

i always find myself scrolling through /pol/ when im bored and i know it Cannot be healthy for me at this point hahahaha

my very existence alone seems to threaten people around me, allow them to belittle me or be afraid of me. the existence of people like me suscitates the means to show disapproval; using hateful language, mocking us. the existence of characters like me in media signifies that western media as a whole has 'lost its values and its creativity' and is only looking to pander.

earlier on twitter i saw this heartwarming tweet about a japanese artist talking about how glad and open they were about including black people in their art. and so many people were refuting them, accusing them of pandering, losing their values, of them giving into western agendas, etc.

its like, in real life you will be regarded as lesser than, unattractive and an invader. a vehicle for crime. Online, you are either heavily fetishized(only the men really,) or just walking talking proof that "The West Has Fallen". its like we can never win.

i dont understand. people have enslaved us for years and forcefully ingrained us into their society, and now theyre mad we live in their society?

why would i want to live in a place where i am accepted amongst nobody? where my existence alone means i am catering to a certain political agenda? where i just cant be regarded as a human being before all?

where the standards for my existence are much higher than anybody elses? where i dont have a community to turn around to, who'll fully understand my thoughts and sentiments? i feel like we are only regarded as a stain amongst a puritan and perfect societies.

i know not everyone sees me or people like me that way. but i *know* a certain amount of people Feel that way (e.g. picture attached to post) enough people to make me feel uncomfortable just being in my skin. it makes me sad and distressed to know i live as the ultimate enemy to these people

sorry for rambling! i hope someone can relate to my sentiment at the very least

 

[ikadasui]

I understand. I'm a black adopted man with adhd and probably some autism. Pair that with being raised in a white household and what do you think happened? Now I don't fit in with either group, I'm totally isolated outside of online and in real life I'm constantly reminded with a look of disgust. I truly believe I never had a chance in life and the greatest mercy would of been abortion and it's not much better for our race even in the best of circumstances. If you're black you're either an athelete, actor or comedian anything else and you have to prove "you're one of the good ones" to everybody.

 

[warm dreams]

I will never be able to understand your pain and suffering. I don't even know what I should write to you to make you understand that I want to support you... I just hope you find what you are looking for. I sincerely wish you good luck.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

With being black myself, I don't blame you at all for how you feel.

 

[dangero]

I am white and would like to be black. Generally you are prettier, you have more energy. In my village in poland lives a black man everyone respects him, he is the smartest here, he works in CERN, he is a physicist.

Recently left for work in switzerland, but you can see his son, he goes to school here.

You can always move to poland "Black people report facing least discrimination in Poland, finds EU study"
https://notesfrompoland.com/2023/10...east-discrimination-in-poland-finds-eu-study/

 

[IWishToDie]

scrolling through /pol/ when im bored

I will never understand why minorities would scroll 4chan, that place is so demoralising and toxic. This can't be good for your mental health and self-image. Try to not do that.

 

[kane9191kosugi]

I get you being upset, but I strongly advise you not to take things too seriously from twitter, YouTube, instagram, or any social media, as there are contents and comments made by people with their own "agenda". It's toxic as hell, and filled with over exaggerated BS tier statements in which these guys will call it "facts" or "personal experience" when probably 99.9% are just straight up lies or copy pasting a false narrative that fits their agenda.

If you get too caught into this shithole, you will become like me. Depressed and disappointed to the point where you become misanthrope, which is going to make your QOL significantly lower. Social media wasn't the only thing that made me this way, but it was definitely a driving factor for me to just straight up lose hope on humankind.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Depressed and disappointed to the point where you become misanthrope, which is going to make your QOL significantly lower. Social media wasn't the only thing that made me this way, but it was definitely a driving factor for me to just straight up lose hope on humankind.

I became misanthropic inspite of social media but it compounded later.

 

[kane9191kosugi]

I became misanthropic inspite of social media but it compounded later.

I mean, I was "probably" misanthropic much earlier in life due to bullying and physical/mental abuse from parents, but I was just so desperate to "fit in" to the environment and community that looking back on it, I was likely in a state of denial. I probably have some kind of developmental disability as well as mental disability as well, but I never really considered that as well (despite being so obvious as I can't even stay in the same community for over a month, whether that is sports club or a job).

As a reward for enduring/denying years of pain, I got a degree from a pretty well known prestigious school. But I am so fucked up mentally to the point where I can't socially interact with other people anymore lol.

Social media definitely didn't help either. Just looking at all the "likes" on the fakest (if that's even a word), lamest BS comments makes me want to just never wake up from a sleep lol.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

As a reward for enduring/denying years of pain, I got a degree from a pretty well known prestigious school. But I am so fucked up mentally to the point where I can't socially interact with other people anymore lol.

I'm sorry about that, I can't fathom how difficult it is but then again, most people aren't even worth 5 seconds of social interaction.