being alone makes me want to die, but so do people

[BEDCHUTE!!]

i wonder if anyone else feels this way? i dont want 2 b alone. being alone and not talking 2 someone for more than like 30 minz at a time makes me want to kill myself. i dont talk 2 any1 irl, i only talk2 ppl online because im incapable of making irl friends. that being said, when i feel as if i hav no one 2 talk to online (which is often), i consider if i should just ctb the hard way rather than trying 2 find a painless or easier method in the Future. ik it sounds stupid,,,but consider that if u think its stupid mayb u Arent as alone as u think u R. having no one hurts Like hell, its just a bit more Intense 4 me. its bc need 2 talk to someone evry second 2 distract myself, or else i think too much. other distractions just dont work 4 me.

but at the same time, i feel as if evry1 hates me. im Constantly made fun of 4 how i am, how i type, im called autistic (iProbably am but it hasnt been confirmed), evryone leaves me, n no One truly cares. people pretend 2 care, but they do it 2 make themselves feel better. no One thinks abt me outside of me Texting them, im no ones first choice and i Never will b. even just yesterday, i Was left by someone n im hated once again by someone who Thinks im a toxic, attention-seeking, insane person.

i'mjusr so sick of evryone treating me badly n not realizing that The more ppl that treat me awful, the more i Want 2 die. i hate being close w ppl, yet i Crave it. im spiraling so hard recently . how tfDo i manage to crave closeness so bad yet hate beinf close to any1 bc of ppl being shitty 2 me. its drivingme to want to just run out into thr street bc of How awful ppl r 2 me, but ik that isnt a full-proof Or painless way. so i hold back.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Yea it's tough. I have same problem but the way I deal with it now is to not have expectations. I don't try to put pressure on myself to meet new people or spend large amounts of time with them, or get anxious about being alone. Somehow I've overcome this fear about ending up alone. There are little things u can do to avoid being too isolated and focus on things u like doing. Once u get passed worrying about this stuff is when u will become happier. I do encourage u to get out into the world if u can like once a week to be around other people because we are not designed to be isolated too long. It can hurt your mental health and u forget how to have social skills. This probably won't help much. I'm just telling u how I've dealt with it. The more u worry about this the worse u will feel. It isn't always your fault if u don't have a lot of friends and meaningful relationships, and definitely not if u are an introvert. Learn how to identify potentially abusive people and that could help u not feel like u are setting yourself up to be treated badly. Unfortunately that's an issue as well these days. There are more people who just want to use others and are not genuine or caring.

 

[sserafim]

i wonder if anyone else feels this way? i dont want 2 b alone. being alone and not talking 2 someone for more than like 30 minz at a time makes me want to kill myself. i dont talk 2 any1 irl, i only talk2 ppl online because im incapable of making irl friends. that being said, when i feel as if i hav no one 2 talk to online (which is often), i consider if i should just ctb the hard way rather than trying 2 find a painless or easier method in the Future. ik it sounds stupid,,,but consider that if u think its stupid mayb u Arent as alone as u think u R. having no one hurts Like hell, its just a bit more Intense 4 me. its bc need 2 talk to someone evry second 2 distract myself, or else i think too much. other distractions just dont work 4 me.

but at the same time, i feel as if evry1 hates me. im Constantly made fun of 4 how i am, how i type, im called autistic (iProbably am but it hasnt been confirmed), evryone leaves me, n no One truly cares. people pretend 2 care, but they do it 2 make themselves feel better. no One thinks abt me outside of me Texting them, im no ones first choice and i Never will b. even just yesterday, i Was left by someone n im hated once again by someone who Thinks im a toxic, attention-seeking, insane person.

i'mjusr so sick of evryone treating me badly n not realizing that The more ppl that treat me awful, the more i Want 2 die. i hate being close w ppl, yet i Crave it. im spiraling so hard recently . how tfDo i manage to crave closeness so bad yet hate beinf close to any1 bc of ppl being shitty 2 me. its drivingme to want to just run out into thr street bc of How awful ppl r 2 me, but ik that isnt a full-proof Or painless way. so i hold back.

People make me want to die. I'm neurodivergent (ADHD, ASD, social anxiety) and I just hate interacting with or talking to people.

I love being alone. I wish I could just be alone on a mountaintop or something, far away from people and society. I hate the fact that we have to work to pay to exist on this planet and that we have to interact with people just to make a living. I hate that our survival depends on social interaction. I wish I didn't have to talk to/interact with others or participate in society.

I hate people and I love being alone because I feel truly free. I wish I could be free from this society and all of its demands, and free from other people as well. I hate being a human being. I've always felt like an alien on this earth, an outsider never fitting in anywhere.